I suffer from really bad anxiety, which could be related to my daydreaming obsession but who knows. When I was younger, I loved long car rides because I could sit in the backseat, blare music into my ears, and get lost in daydreams. I would daydream about anything and everything, but I remember a lot of it would be me placing myself in as the main character in shows I watched. I would get so attached to the characters in the shows I watched and so immersed in the life I saw them live that I dreamt day and day out about being a part of it. And when the car ride would end, it would feel like the world around me dimmed and all I could do was wait until I had another chance to drift off into my thoughts on the way home from wherever I was.
Before I would go to bed, for years, I would make time to lie awake and daydream about this life for myself I had made up in my head. It would change a lot, but it always felt so close yet so far. I think it stopped for a little while, maybe two years, but recently my daydreams have come back full force.
I constantly want to escape in my daydreams. I go on walks for 2-3 hours to procrastinate any of my responsibilities and to escape. The whole time I'll be daydreaming. And when I get home, and I stop, I feel . I feel out of touch. I feel out of place. I've become madly obsessed with anime and the characters in them, and when I finish the show, I cry. And then I daydream about it for weeks. When I'm at work shelving things, I imagine the characters will show up. I imagine going out with them after work. I imagine conversations I'm having with them as if they're there.
I go to bed really late because I don't want to stop daydreaming. I feel trapped, but daydreaming helps me feel free, until I have no choice but to face the reality that it's not real. Then I feel worse. If I spoke to any of my friends about this, they would think I'm crazy even if they might not say it. I don't know what's wrong or what I could do to fix whatever I'm unhappy with in my life since I have no idea what it is or why I'm feeling like this. I'm stuck.
That being said, I would really love to meet people who understand. And just to make new friends, because maybe that's what I need. New friends, different friends. I want you all to know that I'm here not only for myself but for you guys- so please don't hesitate to reach out!! I'd love a chance to get to know you all and your stories.
Thanks for taking the time to read this and to get to know me a little better Take care!
Hi Cassidy, its very nice to meet you because Im going through exact same things that you wrote. Im 27 and I guess I have MDD for at least 15 years and you described my situation too seriously. Also I didnt talk about it with anyone in my life or a doctor because I dont believe that they will understand and I dont want anyone to joke about it because its pretty serious and thats why I registered here...
Im still shocked because all the things you said about shows, characters, daydreaming in the car while listenin music, sleeping very late... I mean I have lived with it for 15 years and here you are summarizing my 15 years And I still do those thing..
I remember when the car stops and I have to pause the song, I feel like I dont belong this world, this reality. Anyway, I started to focus on new things and hobbies that Ive always wanted to do like playing piano, basketball, gym, drawing, new language etc. But Im still daydreaming even while Im busy with my hobbies. At least its a win-win situation so Im learning new thing and also spending time in the universe that I created in my mind. I dont wanna stop daydreaming actually it kinda makes me happy and I feel better. But of course I have jobs to do and I hate that it keep me away from doing them.
Unfortunately I dont know how you can stop it completely but I hope you can find a way and feel much better.
hi, really nice to meet you. your experience to daydreaming is pretty much identical to mine regarding the younger experience and feeling trapped once you were back to reality. i really hope you start to feel more comfortable with MDD as i’m trying to as well.