I'm one of those MDers who has love and romance rule my daydreams. I may have different scenarios of life going on, but I am always taking things on with my main partner. Always, my main partner is a man - usually a celebrity crush who I've formed a deeper, very meaningful love life with.
But I recently noticed something about myself. I tend to change lovers after a very long time, and just noticed my reasoning for it: protection.
I stick with them for about as long as typically longer-term relationships. I was "with" one celebrity crush for almost ten years. After that, another one for about the same length of time. My last one, from 2010-2020 was a much older man.
In real life, this man in 2010 at the time, was older, but still sexy to me. Just within these last ten years, in real life he seems to have aged drastically, and not only looks very different and more frail, but I am fearing that one of these days I'm going to learn of his death, which frightens me so much. I deal with death very badly in real life, and I have fears my attachment to him are going to make this worse. So instead of dealing with anything (because frankly, there's nothing to deal with), I chose to discard him from my daydream altogether, making up a reason that in our "marriage" he cheated on me and is now an old, lonely man.
I have since taken on my new celebrity crush to take his place. He's older than me, but much younger than the previous. I've recreated his life to suit the situation to make it make sense.
I think I do this out of protection. I have cut off certain people and elements of my daydreams to prevent the hurt because I can control it completely.
I haven’t experienced this sort of situation, however I can empathize with why you would do that. I think you created a scenario to emotionally detach yourself from this man so, his death would not have importance to you. Essentially, you are protecting yourself from the psychological and emotional toll that the pending death of someone you care about would have on you.