I'm one of those MDers who has love and romance rule my daydreams. I may have different scenarios of life going on, but I am always taking things on with my main partner. Always, my main partner is a man - usually a celebrity crush who I've formed a deeper, very meaningful love life with.
But I recently noticed something about myself. I tend to change lovers after a very long time, and just noticed my reasoning for it: protection.
I stick with them for about as long as typically longer-term relationships. I was "with" one celebrity crush for almost ten years. After that, another one for about the same length of time. My last one, from 2010-2020 was a much older man.
In real life, this man in 2010 at the time, was older, but still sexy to me. Just within these last ten years, in real life he seems to have aged drastically, and not only looks very different and more frail, but I am fearing that one of these days I'm going to learn of his death, which frightens me so much. I deal with death very badly in real life, and I have fears my attachment to him are going to make this worse. So instead of dealing with anything (because frankly, there's nothing to deal with), I chose to discard him from my daydream altogether, making up a reason that in our "marriage" he cheated on me and is now an old, lonely man.
I have since taken on my new celebrity crush to take his place. He's older than me, but much younger than the previous. I've recreated his life to suit the situation to make it make sense.
I think I do this out of protection. I have cut off certain people and elements of my daydreams to prevent the hurt because I can control it completely.
I haven’t experienced this sort of situation, however I can empathize with why you would do that. I think you created a scenario to emotionally detach yourself from this man so, his death would not have importance to you. Essentially, you are protecting yourself from the psychological and emotional toll that the pending death of someone you care about would have on you.
Yes, this is very close to me! I’d love to chat more about this. Although I’m not “with” the crush in the daydreams, I just daydream about them. But still feel an intense emotional bond: they come to take on certain ideal features etc and essentially are the lead character. One strange thing is that this is my default MD pattern, yet it brings me so much pain. It can be lovely - even euphoric- but then something becomes misaligned or reality sets in and I crash into a very awful episode of depression. It’s like something magical slips, and I’m facing the real world alone and really dissatisfied with my own life. Thanks so much for sharing this; it resonates so strongly for me.
I have a rule that my romantic daydreamer my loves are totally made up doe I enjoy spending time with them if I feel the romance is subsiding I focus on different daydreams more or less go back to them seems whenever I do its near the beginning of it all again and again as The spark between my para and them are strong and always at the beginning. Plus my own relationships I have never felt the way my para feels about her relationship leaving me to wanting something similar but still haven't found it yet. Seem to always go for the players in life the ones that are hot and cold and not really relationship material which makes me look bad and my friends always slag me about the types I go for. When I am out the cling onto me if the know a man is interest me and I am making the same mistakes again. Doe since covid I haven't had many romantic themes. .
Post by ohmymagenta0214 on May 27, 2021 4:33:53 GMT
Back in the late 90’s, I developed a huge crush on a celebrity athlete; a pro-wrestler named B. I had it bad for this man & became super attached to him. Developed genuine feelings for him. Then one day, I saw on the news that B was found dead in his hotel room at the age of 35 & COD was an undiagnosed heart condition. My heart broke, not only for him, but for his wife and 5 young children he’d left behind. I was full on grieving for a man who never even knew I existed. Then, I began experiencing guilt for even having feelings towards B. in the first place. Who was I to mourn this loss when B had a real life wife & children who were struggling to process this event. After B’s death, I decided from there on out, I’d only use fictional characters for my romantic partners. Much easier to manipulate the outcome.
I have chopped and changed my celebrity lover a lot over the years. Sometimes it is because I get bored of them, or other times I find out something about them that puts me off or upsets me. About 20 years ago I had a massive crush on an actor who was up and coming at that time. I actually think I was in love with him and then the Internet became a thing and I found out he had a girlfriend. I was heart broken, even though I knew I would never in a million years have a chance with him. After that I stopped obsessing over him, as it was too painful. I think I liked the thought of him being single and thought of him as 'mine'. Another TV/film actor I use to love is an older man, who has become more famous over the last few years due to a hit TV show he was in. I liked him prior to this show and had an idea in my head that he was a happily married family man, who came across as quite shy in his interviews. When he became more famous, I realised he's a bit over the top and show offy. Then he did a Q and A with fans and he was being quite pervy towards his younger fans, which instantly put me off him forever. I guess it doesn't pay to know too much about your celebrity crushes, they can let you down too.
Post by cryptographicice on Jul 25, 2021 0:24:29 GMT
You know its interesting its my fantasy and I should be able to change anything I want. Do I have as much control of my day dreams as I think (ever read free will by sam harris?). Occasionally you see or hear something about your character and you cant get your mind off it. It just becomes part of the daydream or destroys the dream whether you want it to or not. For that reason I never include actors in my dreams only their characters. I strictly never follow "celebrity gossip" or any interview with the actor shows. I can only include characters if there are multiple seasons and I can really get to know them (Captain Katherine Janeway anyone?). If I do include someone from a movie its purely physical resemblance. The actual personality is entirely made up by me. (like Jorden Tate from Under Seige). In my DD she is a doctor.