Hi everyone! I'm new here, I just found out yesterday about this disorder and instantly knew that I have it.
About three years ago (When I was a mere Junior High student) I was diagnosed with gallbladder cancer and had never felt so alone. It was around that time when I began to go on 'walks' in which I would pace back and forth down my family's driveway. (We have a rather large driveway that is shaped like a horseshoe). I would walk the horseshoe for hours on end until I would check and find out I had walked 5 miles worth of distance with just my pacing back and forth alone. During these walks I was always lost in my own head. up elaborate stories. Picturing myself as the main character of some incredible story where I'm surrounded by friends and people I care about. I always have to wear a hat and look down at the ground while I walk because I know that I'm making the same facial expressions that I envision in my mind.
I believe that the reason I do this is because it gives me an escape from reality. An escape from all of the things I wish didn't happen. I know that the reason I first began going on these daydream escapades was because I had felt so alone after getting diagnosed with cancer, I just wanted to disappear to a place where I wasn't so lonely. A place where I didn't have to pretend to be okay all the time or even a place where cancer and illness didn't exist at all. Being just a kid, and hearing that I was dying so painfully, crushed my spirit. I continued going to school and didn't even tell anyone that I had cancer, not even my own friends. I just wanted to go to school and appear like the same person I had always been. The excessive daydreaming was my only source of real comfort, and it still is in fact.
Even to this very day I continue to go on these walks for hours on end, pacing back and forth down the driveway, with my hat on and my head hung low. Some people, close friends and family, make fun of me for going on these walks. They don't know that I only do it so I can daydream about whatever story I have playing within my mind. However, I continue to do it regardless, because it gives me more comfort than anything else in my life could. I don't even watch TV anymore, as I'd rather be outside daydreaming about the stories I make up myself.
I joined this forum because I hope to meet others like me. I'm hoping that I'll get more comfort from knowing that maybe, I'm not as alone as I thought. If you're reading this, thanks for listening to my story. I can't wait to see how things go with this forum!