Hi. I’m 14 and I’ve been daydreaming since I was 12. I daydream about being my idealised self and being a famous singer or actress. I get a lot of my inspiration for daydreaming from the media but I also daydream about bad things I see like being shot in a shooting or being abused by a partner. It always ends up with me being admired or seen as strong or brave. I feel really bad for doing this as people actually suffer with things irl and I enjoy daydreaming about them happening to me. I feel horrible and guilty. I don’t want to tell anyone as they will think I’m a disgusting person. Please help!
Hi I am new at this but OK, I have bad and daydreams too and sometimes I wonder why because it's supposed to be an escape but I imagine bad thing's happening to me all the time but of course at the end of the dream I end up as an idolized and strong character (in my head) and I also feel guilty because I know that I am anything but that and I fear that if I keep daydreaming that I will never really become that person I'll just have an idea of it in my head but that will never be me.
This is so interesting because for me it’s the exact same, coming off as looking strong and admirable is always the end goal of the DD. I’d love to know what a psychologist that deals with maladaptive daydreaming thinks of this. In all of my daydreams the end goal is being admired, respected, loved.
(a quick note) After reading and watching Meany people talk about there md I've decided to refer to my self as an "pro-adaptive" daydreamer. (to those of you that do not have a pause button on your daydream remote that allows one to "shift" back and forth at will am sorry. i can imagine to a some degree what that must be like and thought of it alone is awful. it is my deep wish and hope that some day you will be able to monopolize control of the when and what part of our condition.
(on topic now) like meany others i too have been the war hero, tragically departed, and the Marder for love. doing so give me a unique opportunity to observe my beloved morn the loss of a deeply loving soul ----WITH ME----. I think that part is a important note for me to understand that the purpose of that type of daydream is to prosses (cope) with the depressing feeling that the life so meaningful to me is passing by with out any meaning to others. as an attempt to insure its giving meaning during my time here i do the most meaningful think i can conjure... self sacrifice. After this I'm granted an opportunity to observe and feel what i so desperately wanted. Validation
(on topic w/ elements from quick notes)
(the set-up) pro-adaptive daydreamer! at age 12 (im 37 now) i had o.c.d out right. there was a phrase that would force it self into my head and i would say it in my head automatically (i wont say what the phrase is out of fear it will come back) A.D.H.D was pretty bad for me too. anxiety was every moment of every second of every day. i only know that by looking back on it because at the time it was all i knew and there for thought it was normal. the "phrase" got worse and worse to the point that it threatened to completely destabilize my mind. i could not stand its control over my most prized part of being. i fought back... HARD. it was for me a matter of life and death. at first there was no hope in sight. i could not see it coming and was so short that i had next to no time to stop it when it got there... at first. soon i gained to ability to stop it short of completion. later i noticed that it would come every time i felt a specific way (anxiety attack), that and there for gained the ability to feel it coming. with in a year i was kicking its ass to the point that it rarely made it out at all. from there its attempts to invade my mind became fewer and fewer. by the age of 25 i had defeated it completely.
i will finish when i get back i apologize im late for work and must leave. i would just save and post when done but i feel sharing now is important just incase.
Last Edit: Oct 7, 2021 15:19:59 GMT by daymares: forgot to say something important
You may have already known the reason behind this. But still I want to remind you why. You care too much about what other people think of you. You need their approval, attention and sympathy. Are you a people pleaser in real life? Are you afraid of criticism or do you try to avoid disapproval? If this is the case, you should recognize your self-worth. Childhood emotional neglect may be the root of this problem. You should work on these issues.