It is too late to become her. She is dead. She never lived, and she never would have. In a way, this means you are dead, too. But it is not too late for you to live.
He does not exist in the form you believe, as long as he is far away. As long as he is far away, whoever he is at the moment, he is nothing but you. The life you give him when you create and recreate him, stems from you. He is you, and she is you, but they are corroding you. You are giving your life to them.
You are allowed to live. Completely. The others are not alive, and they never will be. You must sacrifice their lives for yours. Today, you must bury the dead. You will grieve. You will sit on top of the ground and you will feel that you are alone. But you must not dig them up today. If you do, you will discover that all the coffins are empty. There never was anyone else but you. You must bury them today, and tomorrow you must do it again. You must do it everyday until one day, you become too tired of burying, crying and digging. When you have made peace with the dead, you will be able to turn to the living.
I wrote this in my notebook today, and I will read it every morning. It makes me feel lonely and depressed, but I need to feel those feelings to move on. I hope I will be able to move on one day.
It may not make a lot of sense to others than me, but I needed to get it out. I wrote it to myself in my native language and translated it here, so the English may not be correct. Thanks for reading though, and thanks for this forum :)
It is very beautifully written. I loved the idea. It makes sense. It is difficult to apply but trying is way better than doing nothing. I loved the way you have presented it. I will try this method and see. Sounds interesting. Thank you so much for this thought.