I have a Torts exam in 4 days and I'm not prepared.
My dog has been sick and I haven't slept for most of this week.
I feel weary and disinterested in everything.
I have to have surgery on the 30th. I can't stop
I'm going to get post-surgery complications.
I have too many medical things to sort out this year.
I feel very alone, all the time. Even when I am not.
I'm doing everything because I have to. I follow a list each day. A routine.
I cannot eat. I make myself in the morning, but by afternoon my tummy hurts too much and I cannot even try.
For the first time in a very long time I just want to be the person in the world in my daydreams. I want to step to the left and just walk away into a much better safer world I can control.
I know life is hard and things happen, but I am just so very very tired right now and 'keep going' has become a bargaining factor - 'keep going until... and if things still make you feel this way then...'
Life. It didn't have to be this way.