I've suspected I daydream as a coping method for about 7 years now. At certain times of my life it has almost went away (when I've been much busier and had a full social life). I've never spoken to anyone because I find it so embarrassing, but I'm wondering if for anyone else it's triggered by already-existing fictional universes? I tend not to daydream about my own life at all, it's really media that I'm into that has me itching to do it. I would describe it as almost an addiction like daydreaming is this peaceful escape and I get to do/be things I can't do in my real life. I have trauma in my past and mental illnesses which probably contribute.
My MD expresses itself by my mind imagining me as part of movies or television shows. The storylines are ongoing and often feature "scenes" that u can sometimes find very stressful as if I don't play them out right in my head I need to restart it and do it right - almost like how a director would do another take if an actor fucks up.
I remember this starting back when I was a teen, using TV to escape a very depressed reality. It doesn't cause me much harm these days but I have to admit that it goes too far with me, because sometimes I feel the need to do it for a long time or I get irritated if it doesn't play in my mind in the exact way I wanted. Sometimes I'll physically act out little parts in the mirror. It's almost like a dopamine hit, I miss it when I don't do it but I want to stop MD because I don't think it's helpful.
I'm going to the cinema today to see a movie I've been for and already know the characters and I know my mind will begin to wander and place me in it during the film instead of just enjoying it... All of this makes me feel insane! It happens anytime I really enjoy a piece of media and feel attached to the characters. I love filmmaking so I used to think it was just me being a little actor-y and doing plays in my room but into adulthood I recognise it as something that's escapism and not normal.
Most annoying thing? If it triggers when I'm watching something at home I will pause every 5 mins to MD cause I feel the need to insert myself into it for the emotional stimulation,
Last Edit: Jul 7, 2021 14:07:31 GMT by tg98: Spelling
I have trauma in my past too and depression runs in my family so I think it’s my own way of dealing with stress in my life but I recognize it’s also escapism. I searched MD and this forum to find out if this is something I need treatment for but then I think of my sister who is on depression meds and how the meds only help for so long and she was still institutionalized twice so I think I would just rather daydream instead as it does calm me and is more enjoyable than being numb or zoning on weed. I started daydreaming at 11-12 years old but I would incorporate myself in books or music with fictional characters or I would go back in time to incorporate myself with real people when I read their autobiographies or saw them on tv/movies. When I daydream about celebrities I am a celebrity too and I always think of it as an alternate universe timeline. I have only incorporated myself into a tv series once when I watched Boardwalk Empire because I really fell for the Jimmy Darmody character. Now that my kids have graduated high school I decided it was time for me to move out of the city we have been living since 2003. I was afraid I would totally immerse myself in daydreaming if I was alone in this house and I feel like the other city I am moving to has more single life activities to offer. I got the idea after watching a VH1 series called Hindsight which mirrored me right down to the names and I had a mid-life crisis. I am hoping the move back to a city that in the past brought me happiness and kept me from daydreaming my life away does the same this time around.
I do this all time, you're not alone! My worlds and universes are designed similarly with media and existing worlds and characters being the main thing I use. I use it as a coping mechanism or just an escape. I love acting and the performance arts, so the scene thing happens a lot and in some cases, I or my characters are the ones performing it, but many scenes just repeat in my head for me to watch. If they're not right or the emotions I want present aren't there, I just keep repeating it and changing it till it's exactly how I want it. I frequently pause movies and shows because I've gotten so much emotional stimulus that I'm already planning new adventures and plots. It really does feel like a surge of serotonin and I act stuff out too, sometimes even dancing around or stage fighting scenes. I actually got interested in stage dance, but it's still a very unhealthy form of escapism for me. I've gotten way too attached to many characters, plots, and themes. Even objects that appear frequently. It's bothersome and addictive, it's even caused me to annoy others because I can't sit still for some shows and movies. You're definitely not alone.
I first got into a specific fandom back in July of last year. Ever since then it's been the only thing I daydream about. Looking back, I can see that my daydreams have always centered around fandoms of books or tv shows. I first remember daydreaming when I was around 9, when we moved internationally and my dad was an alcoholic, but I know that I've always had an active imagination. (I have depression, anciety, and am in the middle of getting diagnosed for adhd and autism, so yay, mental illness 😃) . When I watch movies/shows and I like the plot, soundtrack or something about it, I'll insert my normal daydream characters into that exact scenario.