Hi everyone I've had MD since I was about 6yrs old, although I've only been able to identify it recently, whilst researching my current problem. Prior to the instance I'm about to describe, my MD hasn't proven to be much of a problem, in fact the opposite, it helped me cope with real life and I loved the characters, plots etc, which I curated and maintained in their entirety and would expand upon everyday. About 9 months ago, I had what I've come to call, a switch flip moment, suddenly my MD stopped triggering as often or as vividly and as time has gone on, the situation has become much worse and the impact on my mind has increased to effect my memory (both MD and non-MD related), my ability to visualise things in my head (obviously this is closely associated with MD), creativity/writing ability, ability to engage and comprehend all media and, what I would consider to be general intelligence. Apart from 2-3 second bursts of boring unabsorbing images, none of which relate to my previously established characters, plots or settings (the key elements of this I can only dimly recall and a lot of the nuances/individual stories have been forgotten) my MD has now stopped completely. As you can probably understand this has been distressing. Has anyone else experienced a situation akin to this? If so how did you restore your abilities? And cope in the interim? MD has been my main outlet for reducing stress and anxiety, I'm really I can get through life without it.
Hi I’m James , 47 , live in Yorkshire, England Been Mdding for almost 40 years Read your story Had all the symptoms, complicated plots , highly planned, angry if disturbed, clicking fingers , blinking eyes , preferred to actual real life Now , alone , divorced , broke , but proud of still working and being frontline Nhs during this pandemic My Mdd world began as a child’s ill advised response to trauma and abuse and also encompassed a variety of often health related overlapping OCD , anxiety issues 18 months ago I I had a health scare which resolved but caused this brain that was a 99% focussed Ferrari DD machine to have the wheels come off and everything imploded inside No access to DD , no personality, no opinions
So I hear you Seek and google help as more and more therapists become aware Confide in someone No more secrets It’s a genuine mental health problem and is becoming legitimate Feel welcome to post back as no one else does Be brave, and do some good for someone everyday Best wishes
Hi Thank you for your reply. I guess I really want that part of me back, but have real stress and anxiety issues, my memory has taken a plummet too. My creativity has just completely run dry, I can't enjoy anything anymore. I've developed severe stress and now can't remember a single thing about my MD, how it felt etc, which makes it hard to gain the motivation to get it back. To piggyback off your car analogy, I'm not even sure now if I had a car in the first place. I too suffer from OCD though I can't even find the motivation to be scared about that anymore and as my OCD is closely connected to my MD that doesn't help, as were essencially all my other fears, everything I did was associated with my MD, I don't enjoy life anymore or paticularly remember it. I'm surprised I can even form sentences, because I feel like I'm just shutting down. I can't adequately explain it as I don't really understand it anymore, even things I try really hard to get in to, I just can't anymore. I also had dissociative issues from my MD, they've gone now to. My physical disability was also a key factor in my MD's development and I'm left having to deal with that too, all this stress can not be good for my brain, but I struggle to destress as my MD was my main method and all my other methods were closely assosiated with it. I used to channel my MD into writing and the like, which I can no longer do.TBH the initial scare that triggered my switch-flip was directly related to my dissociative issues, or a least I think so. I really wish I'd wriiten stuff down before things got this bad. I was never really open about the extent of my MD before and I struggle to believe myself. I've sought help but I don't feel like anyone understands where I was, and I'm scared that things won't get back to where they were, people tell me not to obsess over it but it's an absence I can simply not deal with. I'm hoping neurological and psychological support will get me back. I hope that others suffering can also be helped. Have you been able to find anyone/anything to help? I am worried that those from whom I'm seeking support, for all their good will, lack the understanding to treat my condition and help me regain my ability. I realise I am rambling, sorry. Thank you so much for validating my issues.
Hi, I'm new here and this my first time posting. I know how you feel. When I went through a depression, I lost my daydreams too. It was scary for me because I used them for the same reason as you did, as a release from anxiety. Mine came back after I stopped taking a prescription that was causing me to experience depressive symptoms. I has to switch meds after things got too bad, and my daydreams came back once I did. I know that's not possible for you to do, but my point is that it may be depression related because depression can cause problems with memory and the ability to enjoy things you used to love doing (it's called anhedonia). I'm no therapist so I can't diagnose you with anything, but that's my two cents on what may be happening but I would recommend you talk to a professional and hang in there. It's gonna be ok.
It’s not gonna be ok losing MD I’ve lost it and I’m left alone with a empty head Just blackness I take none prescribed prescription medication It’s not worked for me as anything good in real life fuelled a daydreaming session and the session often fuelled any enjoyment of real life so I almost sat between the two but preferred the first What can I offer Concentrate with everything you have on the real world whilst fighting off the monster Find a hobby , volunteer,write , I am going to write my 40 years of memoirs It will probably change nothing , it might make me rich , it won’t mean anything But it may make someone feel less alone That’s all Thanks