Ive been struggling with MD for around three years now. And im young enough not to let it control me anymore so here is a vent i wrote to find comfort in the fact i deal with md everyday.
Ive learnt alot about the complexities of life and how important it is to finally accept all the pain and the unfairness it gives to all of us. And let it go, instead of trying to distance ourselves from the truth, to runaway into to the deepest void in my mind and lose myself in the fog till i cant come out.
Maladaptive daydreaming dosen’t seem like this at first, which is most deceiving about md, you dont realise you’ve left your real life behind, when you have to come out of your world and need to be here, with your family at the table, when you hang around your freinds,when your all alone, it feels lonely all at the same time.
I know if i try to stop ill just feel numb, like i came back from the dead,but i cant keep throwing away my real life, the real, amazing me. The person who can become more beautiful by everyday, who can do things she has always wanted to do and find the world i create, the WORLDS i created in my mind…to be my reality, to feel real.
there are so many of us who deal with different things, who daydream about different people/characters who are there for you, who watch over you like a warm ghost. This spiritual part of us doesn’t have to leave, infact this is a great trait to have!. That you feel closer to a spiritual world, to understand everything about how people work you can even feel them here! People who you can love.
but its only one sided And its time to move on and find the lost part of me and all of us and return to where we really belong, where we have belonged this whole time…
Thank you if you have read the whole thing and maybe learnt or have related to what i’ve said …take care and stay strong