fairytale
Active Daydreamer
you are not a mistake
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Post by fairytale on Aug 31, 2021 10:41:45 GMT
I did not have many friends growing up and none of them lasted for more than a month. They stopped being my friend of the same reason. They would ask me personal question that I don't want to answer or they don't believe my answer. For example, they would ask if I m attracted to anyone or ever have been, me being a ace and aro, I would say no and they won't believe me and say that I don't consider them as my friend since I don't want to share it with them and we would argue and they would ignore my existence for the rest of their life. This has happened a lot of time for lot of questions. I don't like people using my so stuff so I would not lend it to them and that would be another cause to break off with me. Others seem ok with answering those questions or lending their things to other but I just don't like. I like my privacy and personal space. They can borrow things like pen,notes etc but I don't like it when they ask for my clothes or to read my personal diary or the things that I treasure or take my things without my permission but all other seem ok with it and say that they are their friends they can use it and expect me to do the same. I know I m not wrong to refuse them as I want them to respect my personal space and privacy but sometimes I feel bad.
Has this happened to anyone else or just me??. |
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Post by Sam on Sept 6, 2021 15:09:45 GMT
Being gray aroace myself, I understand the issue with getting people to believe that you are, in fact, just not attracted to anyone. Have you tried explaining to them that you’re aroace or do you not want to because it feels too personal to share?
As for the privacy stuff, honestly you’re entitled to whatever level of privacy you’re comfortable with and if your “friends” can’t respect that, then they aren’t really your friends. Every relationship has boundaries. You set your boundaries and they are still insistent on pushing past them, and that’s not really something that’s okay.
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fairytale
Active Daydreamer
you are not a mistake
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Post by fairytale on Sept 7, 2021 7:32:33 GMT
Being gray aroace myself, I understand the issue with getting people to believe that you are, in fact, just not attracted to anyone. Have you tried explaining to them that you’re aroace or do you not want to because it feels too personal to share? As for the privacy stuff, honestly you’re entitled to whatever level of privacy you’re comfortable with and if your “friends” can’t respect that, then they aren’t really your friends. Every relationship has boundaries. You set your boundaries and they are still insistent on pushing past them, and that’s not really something that’s okay. I've never tried to explain about aroace mostly because I would have a lot of explaining to do but there I don't think they would understand it. In the place where I come from, no one knows or cares about LGBTQ so explaining acearo is really hard and I don't like to talk much so I just let them think what they want and move on. I just got used to them leaving for silly reasons.
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Post by Sam on Sept 7, 2021 15:44:58 GMT
Being gray aroace myself, I understand the issue with getting people to believe that you are, in fact, just not attracted to anyone. Have you tried explaining to them that you’re aroace or do you not want to because it feels too personal to share? As for the privacy stuff, honestly you’re entitled to whatever level of privacy you’re comfortable with and if your “friends” can’t respect that, then they aren’t really your friends. Every relationship has boundaries. You set your boundaries and they are still insistent on pushing past them, and that’s not really something that’s okay. I've never tried to explain about aroace mostly because I would have a lot of explaining to do but there I don't think they would understand it. In the place where I come from, no one knows or cares about LGBTQ so explaining acearo is really hard and I don't like to talk much so I just let them think what they want and move on. I just got used to them leaving for silly reasons.
That’s understandable. Even in spaces where LGBTQ people are commonly accepted (and even in actual queer spaces) it’s hard to get people to understand aromantic and asexual identities. |
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