Hi, I'm Cassie, but I often go by Maia online. I am in my mid-40s and I have been experiencing MD since at least my mid-teen years.
For the first 20+ years of my experience of MD, I thought I was the only person in world who was screwed up or flawed or crazy enough to be daydreaming this much. I was so ashamed and embarrassed that I never mentioned it to anyone, even therapists, until one time about 10 years ago, when I first tried to get help for it. I told a prospective therapist I thought I had an "addiction" to daydreaming and she told me she had never heard of that and didn't know how to help me. Finally, a few years ago I ran into a few webpages discussing MD online, and I learned this has a name. I was also completely amazed, and comforted, to find out that I am not the only person with this issue.
The last therapist I worked with from 2019-2021 also had not heard of MD. I went to her seeking help specifically for MD, but the therapy took other directions. It is not that it was not helpful with other issues I am dealing with, but I still have not managed to stop this behavior.
I think I started MD as a response to trauma, and maybe it seemed like an effective escape at the time, but it has long since been truly maladaptive. Engaging in it for so long has meant passing years of my life where I am not fully living real life, not taking action to go after the things I want, not drawing boundaries I need to draw, not being the director of my own life.
In the past couple of years I have been reading lots of books on self-development, psychology, and even neuroscience topics, to try to learn more about how the mind works and somehow navigate my way out of this maze. Hopefully by expanding my understanding of the brain and the mind, and learning about and practicing better life skills, I can replace MD with more constructive behaviors.
I am thankful to have found a community of others who also experience MD, because this is hard to talk about or even admit to doing, among those who do not experience MD. Hopefully we can all help each other find healing.
Hey Maria, just wanted to say that everything you said resonated with me. The feeling of being some kind of passenger in your own life. I day dreamed every single day for hours since my childhood, but I'm doing a bit better now and have hope, even if I'm not making the progress I want. Best of luck to you too.