so i have been doing this since i was a baby, it started with just repetitive movement of rocking while sitting on the couch. then i figured out i can add music and then my mind takes off somewhere else. i dont actually create new characters and scenarios, but what i do is replay events or imagine events in my own life. i think i am working out possible outcomes. i do this for hours, every day after work, just rocking with my eyes closed, listening to music, lost in my mind. i cannot remember a time in my life when i didnt do this. if i am alone, i am usually doing this. i have always felt really ashamed of it and hide it from everyone. it has definitely affected my social life, and i am really introverted, although i am happy and i feel like i could make friends if i felt like i needed to.
i am about to move in with my boyfriend in a few months and he is so cool he said i can have my own room because he knows i need a lot of space, but he doesnt know why. i dont know if i should tell him or whether he will find it too strange. he is pretty understanding. For those with partners, do you hide it from them? If/when you told them, how did they take it? What if my boyfriend catches me doing it? Should I tell him?
Hey, I just joined this forum too. Just wanted to say that I have also done this exact thing, rocking back and forth (sometimes with music) while playing out alternate scenarios of the past. I would sometimes stop after an hour and think "god what would someone say if they saw me??" Sometimes I would accidentally say "dialogue" out loud while rocking.
I don't know the answer to your question about your boyfriend I'm afraid. The only person I've ever told is my therapist, but I cannot describe what a relief that was. I cried for hours from the relief of finally telling someone.