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Post by katie on Dec 19, 2018 21:31:21 GMT
Have you ever had to stop yourself from daydreaming while out in public? Whenever I am with a big group of people and I start to feel anxious I always start to daydream while half like I am half aware of what going on and yet in a daydream. When I am getting into the daydream and start to make facial expressions I stop before anyone notices. I once had a friend ask me am ok while I was daydreaming and brought me back to reality got embarrassed.
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Post by PrinceKristian on Dec 20, 2018 0:50:25 GMT
Honestly I don't tend to care. I'm not a very social person anyway, so if I'm not personally involved in the conversation I'll just start daydreaming; I sometimes don't even notice when I do.
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Post by Dimmer on Dec 20, 2018 4:12:44 GMT
Happens to me too. It's especially awful when it's friends and they end up talking to you and you're just kinda half aware the entire conversation... come off looking like an ass who just doesn't give a shit about what they're saying.
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Post by Mordecai O'Shea on Dec 20, 2018 11:13:28 GMT
I struggle with this a lot. I've made it one of my personal rules not to daydream when I'm with other people - my attempt to put my real-life relationships first - but I still find it super hard. Especially if someone says or does something that reminds me of something that's happening in the daydream world, I automatically want to drift off and see how that plays out in the DD, and then it's hard to come back because I'm worried that I won't get to the same point in the plot if I leave it until later...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 20, 2018 11:25:57 GMT
I don't care if I was dding in front of friends/family but will struggle to pay attention in front of best friend, and at serious situation like work or school.
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Post by june on Dec 20, 2018 22:56:31 GMT
Have you ever had to stop yourself from daydreaming while out in public? Whenever I am with a big group of people and I start to feel anxious I always start to daydream while half like I am half aware of what going on and yet in a daydream. When I am getting into the daydream and start to make facial expressions I stop before anyone notices. I once had a friend ask me am ok while I was daydreaming and brought me back to reality got embarrassed. yes. I have to stop myself sometimes. Some days everything triggers mdd and it makes me feel very vulnerable and disconnected from my surroundings. I also enjoy it but don't like to do it too much when I'm with people I really like. Even though they know what is going on when they see me whisper and talking to myself. I tried watching a movie with my partner today and kept forgetting that I was doing that. I ended up in my office every time busy with MDD and had to pull myself out of it and go back to the living room again. I'm still not sure what the movie was about I'm only glad it didn't happen at the cinema as it has many, many, many times before. I also get embarrassed.
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Post by june on Dec 20, 2018 22:58:55 GMT
Happens to me too. It's especially awful when it's friends and they end up talking to you and you're just kinda half aware the entire conversation... come off looking like an ass who just doesn't give a shit about what they're saying. Have you told them about MDD? What did they say? I haven't told that many.
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Post by Dimmer on Dec 21, 2018 3:18:07 GMT
Happens to me too. It's especially awful when it's friends and they end up talking to you and you're just kinda half aware the entire conversation... come off looking like an ass who just doesn't give a shit about what they're saying. Have you told them about MDD? What did they say? I haven't told that many. For the most part, no; but I did end up telling a couple people last year. The reaction ranged from "meh, ok, cool" to "omg that's so amazing I wish I could do that!". Kinda wish I'd never bothered to say anything.
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Post by kondiao on Apr 29, 2019 15:04:33 GMT
! I am so astonished - for lack of a better word - to know there are people - any number of people - out there who do this. Well, my DD'ing in public is a serious problem and seriously humiliating for me. I would prefer to not do it at all, ever, unvoluntarily. But I also tone it down somewhat in public, feel less constrained to not act out when alone, which I am a lot, being a loner. But this is all habitual and not under my control, like an addiction or obsession. If I could take a pill - if there was a medicine that I could trust, that did not do more harm than good - that would block this behavior and make me pay attention all the time - I would go for it. I would not worry that if I really lost this behavior that I would miss it - I am sure I - (we) could voluntarily imagine and fantasize - or even better, meditate and go into reveries - if we wanted to. I think "normal; ", non-MaDD people do this if they care to. But I am very afraid of being busted in public for making sounds or gestures or facial contortions or worse when I am not mentally present. So this makes my social anxiety and self-consciousness worse. Alone I still hate it that I DD because I am afraid I could get loud enough that people in another room or something could hear me and wonder wtf is going on. I think it has happened to me once or twice that a friend asked "Who were you talking to in there?" . This is in my adult life - I have been an adult for like 50 years. In my childhood years I would regularly get yelled at by older siblings to shut up because I was keeping them awake. Now, sleeping alone, I have to consciously circumvent my natural habit of day-dreaming to get to sleep. Rarely do I just - "go to sleep" like normal people do. In the past there have been periods when I was in a wonderful relationship with someone and, after making love we would go to sleep together. In those periods I believed I was past the MaDD craziness, because I was sure that I had a real life with this woman and so there would never be a cause to drift out and dream about something else. But then, when my life crashed and burned I fell back into MaDD, like people fall back into drinking alcohol. So, now, being old - 71 - retired, with a disability income to live on - without attachments - my mission is to get this MaDD under control.. One suggestion I have - for FWIW - is when you become aware that you have drifted out into fantasyland and know you need to get back and stay present now - to schedule your daydreaming session for a certain time: like put it off until Sunday evening. Like they counsel worriers to do: put the item on the agenda to worry about on Sunday, or Tuesday at a certain time. It doesn't matter if you never get around to doing it - you never get around to doing a lot of things and this is something to not do. If you find yourself with the time on your hands on Sunday evening, or whenever and remember it is time to DD - then go ahead. I think consciously, deliberately doing the behavior makes it so - ugh, repugnant - that you are a little less inclined to do it next time. I think it helps me a little. Meditating and practicing Mindfulness helps too. And writing on this forum is better than DD'ing too. Thanks for being here..
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Post by katie on Apr 29, 2019 17:35:21 GMT
Wow! I am so astonished - for lack of a better word - to know there are people - any number of people - out there who do this. Well, my DD'ing in public is a serious problem and seriously humiliating for me. I would prefer to not do it at all, ever, unvoluntarily. But I also tone it down somewhat in public, feel less constrained to not act out when alone, which I am a lot, being a loner. But this is all habitual and not under my control, like an addiction or obsession. If I could take a pill - if there was a medicine that I could trust, that did not do more harm than good - that would block this behavior and make me pay attention all the time - I would go for it. I would not worry that if I really lost this behavior that I would miss it - I am sure I - (we) could voluntarily imagine and fantasize - or even better, meditate and go into reveries - if we wanted to. I think "normal; ", non-MaDD people do this if they care to. But I am very afraid of being busted in public for making sounds or gestures or facial contortions or worse when I am not mentally present. So this makes my social anxiety and self-consciousness worse. Alone I still hate it that I DD because I am afraid I could get loud enough that people in another room or something could hear me and wonder wtf is going on. I think it has happened to me once or twice that a friend asked "Who were you talking to in there?" . This is in my adult life - I have been an adult for like 50 years. In my childhood years I would regularly get yelled at by older siblings to shut up because I was keeping them awake. Now, sleeping alone, I have to consciously circumvent my natural habit of day-dreaming to get to sleep. Rarely do I just - "go to sleep" like normal people do. In the past there have been periods when I was in a wonderful relationship with someone and, after making love we would go to sleep together. In those periods I believed I was past the MaDD craziness, because I was sure that I had a real life with this woman and so there would never be a cause to drift out and dream about something else. But then, when my life crashed and burned I fell back into MaDD, like people fall back into drinking alcohol. So, now, being old - 71 - retired, with a disability income to live on - without attachments - my mission is to get this MaDD under control.. One suggestion I have - for FWIW - is when you become aware that you have drifted out into fantasyland and know you need to get back and stay present now - to schedule your daydreaming session for a certain time: like put it off until Sunday evening. Like they counsel worriers to do: put the item on the agenda to worry about on Sunday, or Tuesday at a certain time. It doesn't matter if you never get around to doing it - you never get around to doing a lot of things and this is something to not do. If you find yourself with the time on your hands on Sunday evening, or whenever and remember it is time to DD - then go ahead. I think consciously, deliberately doing the behavior makes it so - ugh, repugnant - that you are a little less inclined to do it next time. I think it helps me a little. Meditating and practicing Mindfulness helps too. And writing on this forum is better than DD'ing too. Thanks for being here.. MD is an addiction disorder. Think it would be hard on all of us first if there is a way to cure MD it such a big part of the way we cope and escape from reality. My daydreaming in public is usually trigger by my anxiety which is calming down so it hasn't been to bad. I don't daydream while I am at work either so that good. I always schedule my daydreaming for when I get home I use to look forward to it it helps relax me after been around people all day.
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Post by kondiao on Apr 30, 2019 4:24:59 GMT
! I am so astonished - for lack of a better word - to know there are people - any number of people - out there who do this. Well, my DD'ing in public is a serious problem and seriously humiliating for me. I would prefer to not do it at all, ever, unvoluntarily. But I also tone it down somewhat in public, feel less constrained to not act out when alone, which I am a lot, being a loner. But this is all habitual and not under my control, like an addiction or obsession. If I could take a pill - if there was a medicine that I could trust, that did not do more harm than good - that would block this behavior and make me pay attention all the time - I would go for it. I would not worry that if I really lost this behavior that I would miss it - I am sure I - (we) could voluntarily imagine and fantasize - or even better, meditate and go into reveries - if we wanted to. I think "normal; ", non-MaDD people do this if they care to. But I am very afraid of being busted in public for making sounds or gestures or facial contortions or worse when I am not mentally present. So this makes my social anxiety and self-consciousness worse. Alone I still hate it that I DD because I am afraid I could get loud enough that people in another room or something could hear me and wonder wtf is going on. I think it has happened to me once or twice that a friend asked "Who were you talking to in there?" . This is in my adult life - I have been an adult for like 50 years. In my childhood years I would regularly get yelled at by older siblings to shut up because I was keeping them awake. Now, sleeping alone, I have to consciously circumvent my natural habit of day-dreaming to get to sleep. Rarely do I just - "go to sleep" like normal people do. In the past there have been periods when I was in a wonderful relationship with someone and, after making love we would go to sleep together. In those periods I believed I was past the MaDD craziness, because I was sure that I had a real life with this woman and so there would never be a cause to drift out and dream about something else. But then, when my life crashed and burned I fell back into MaDD, like people fall back into drinking alcohol. So, now, being old - 71 - retired, with a disability income to live on - without attachments - my mission is to get this MaDD under control.. One suggestion I have - for FWIW - is when you become aware that you have drifted out into fantasyland and know you need to get back and stay present now - to schedule your daydreaming session for a certain time: like put it off until Sunday evening. Like they counsel worriers to do: put the item on the agenda to worry about on Sunday, or Tuesday at a certain time. It doesn't matter if you never get around to doing it - you never get around to doing a lot of things and this is something to not do. If you find yourself with the time on your hands on Sunday evening, or whenever and remember it is time to DD - then go ahead. I think consciously, deliberately doing the behavior makes it so - ugh, repugnant - that you are a little less inclined to do it next time. I think it helps me a little. Meditating and practicing Mindfulness helps too. And writing on this forum is better than DD'ing too. Thanks for being here.. MD is an addiction disorder. Think it would be hard on all of us first if there is a way to cure MD it such a big part of the way we cope and escape from reality. My daydreaming in public is usually trigger by my anxiety which is calming down so it hasn't been to bad. I don't daydream while I am at work either so that good. I always schedule my daydreaming for when I get home I use to look forward to it it helps relax me after been around people all day.
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Post by kondiao on Apr 30, 2019 4:25:31 GMT
! I am so astonished - for lack of a better word - to know there are people - any number of people - out there who do this. Well, my DD'ing in public is a serious problem and seriously humiliating for me. I would prefer to not do it at all, ever, unvoluntarily. But I also tone it down somewhat in public, feel less constrained to not act out when alone, which I am a lot, being a loner. But this is all habitual and not under my control, like an addiction or obsession. If I could take a pill - if there was a medicine that I could trust, that did not do more harm than good - that would block this behavior and make me pay attention all the time - I would go for it. I would not worry that if I really lost this behavior that I would miss it - I am sure I - (we) could voluntarily imagine and fantasize - or even better, meditate and go into reveries - if we wanted to. I think "normal; ", non-MaDD people do this if they care to. But I am very afraid of being busted in public for making sounds or gestures or facial contortions or worse when I am not mentally present. So this makes my social anxiety and self-consciousness worse. Alone I still hate it that I DD because I am afraid I could get loud enough that people in another room or something could hear me and wonder wtf is going on. I think it has happened to me once or twice that a friend asked "Who were you talking to in there?" . This is in my adult life - I have been an adult for like 50 years. In my childhood years I would regularly get yelled at by older siblings to shut up because I was keeping them awake. Now, sleeping alone, I have to consciously circumvent my natural habit of day-dreaming to get to sleep. Rarely do I just - "go to sleep" like normal people do. In the past there have been periods when I was in a wonderful relationship with someone and, after making love we would go to sleep together. In those periods I believed I was past the MaDD craziness, because I was sure that I had a real life with this woman and so there would never be a cause to drift out and dream about something else. But then, when my life crashed and burned I fell back into MaDD, like people fall back into drinking alcohol. So, now, being old - 71 - retired, with a disability income to live on - without attachments - my mission is to get this MaDD under control.. One suggestion I have - for FWIW - is when you become aware that you have drifted out into fantasyland and know you need to get back and stay present now - to schedule your daydreaming session for a certain time: like put it off until Sunday evening. Like they counsel worriers to do: put the item on the agenda to worry about on Sunday, or Tuesday at a certain time. It doesn't matter if you never get around to doing it - you never get around to doing a lot of things and this is something to not do. If you find yourself with the time on your hands on Sunday evening, or whenever and remember it is time to DD - then go ahead. I think consciously, deliberately doing the behavior makes it so - ugh, repugnant - that you are a little less inclined to do it next time. I think it helps me a little. Meditating and practicing Mindfulness helps too. And writing on this forum is better than DD'ing too. Thanks for being here.. MD is an addiction disorder. Think it would be hard on all of us first if there is a way to cure MD it such a big part of the way we cope and escape from reality. My daydreaming in public is usually trigger by my anxiety which is calming down so it hasn't been to bad. I don't daydream while I am at work either so that good. I always schedule my daydreaming for when I get home I use to look forward to it it helps relax me after been around people all day.
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Post by kondiao on Apr 30, 2019 5:04:14 GMT
Thank you Katie for your input.
Now I am a little more uncertain about things: so MD is an addiction - O.K., so it is how people cope with and excape from reality.? When I was a small child and some nights I was in terror because a drunken, violent s.o.b. (my father) was raging around the house yelling about all the terrible things in his life, from the WW II on. I escaped and coped by fantasizing on better places and times when I would be big and able able to make life the way I wanted it to be, while hoping he and my mother would not get into a fight. When I would watch adventure movies on TV, westerns and war movies, I would re-play them, out loud in my bed at night - and get yelled at by my brothers to shut up. I cannot see anything good about that and I could not control the addictive behavior of going back into DD's and it was not doing me any good to escape - from sleeping, from paying attention is school, doing homework; screwing up the job because I was not there, getting lost driving because I was not paying attention to the landmarks.... It was like other people had something going on in their brains that I was missing that programmed them to be present and aware - or I had some defect that took me out. Now, today, at 71, in my hotel room, I am serially raging and acting out. I am triggered because this new Acer laptop is junk and I will have to go back to the computer shop where they sold it to me - where they said they could not get chromebooks in this country - and argue with them. I anticipate them telling me I paid for it - $430.00 - and i have to deal with it. The computer tells me they were supposed to instal the Windows 10 O S and it is part of the sale. .... and so i am smashing this computer against their counter and they are calling the cops . Today I am raging at myself - because I cannot find the receipt for this piece of junk and I did find the receipt for the deposit on this hotel, which i could not find two days ago when I needed it. Now i am acting out strangling someone who - in 1974 - 75 - arguing about the war in Vietnam - everyone i knew then in the academic world called us "Baby-kllers", did their Dissertations and theses about us - and none of them cared at all about the truth - he said to me "What makes you think you know more about Vietnam than I do?" as he was ragging all the crazy things they used to say then - and could not hear the things I saw and did and bled for in Vietnam. I was too stunned then to even talk. But every time that memory comes up I smash him across the forehead with the bamboo bong and then.... i kill or cripple him. I remember the manager at a Wells Fargo branch who refused to let me WD some money from my account - I had the money in my account, and it was almost 5:00 p.m. and he had his coat on and was going to leave. I could not get a motel that weekend - had to sleep in the bed of my pickup. It was not life-threatening. But evey time i try to go over that memory again - to handle it reasonably - I go out of control and choke him , take his wallet and leave - and then I would have gone to prison. Now this acting out is not helpful to me. If I am going to fight today's battles effectively I need to let go of past hatred. If you are able to schedule your DD - if I could do that - then you have control over it - so it is just entertainment, escaping from stress. If I could get to that level of control - life might even be worth living. It would be worth a shot anyway.
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Post by kate101 on Apr 30, 2019 11:11:07 GMT
Happens to me too. It's especially awful when it's friends and they end up talking to you and you're just kinda half aware the entire conversation... come off looking like an ass who just doesn't give a shit about what they're saying. I know what you mean! Then the people in the conversation look at me and ask if I am listening! It's so hard not to daydream while I am in a conversation. My dtr will look at me and say she just explained to me what she was trying to relay to me, but I have to ask her again or pretend that I did listen to her. Of course we care about these conversations, but our daydreaming gets in the way.
Now that I am aware that I have maladaptive daydreaming, I am trying to be aware of it all day long. It's going to take time, but I am strong.
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Post by kate101 on Apr 30, 2019 11:14:33 GMT
Thank you Katie for your input. Now I am a little more uncertain about things: so MD is an addiction - O.K., so it is how people cope with and excape from reality.? When I was a small child and some nights I was in terror because a drunken, violent s.o.b. (my father) was raging around the house yelling about all the terrible things in his life, from the WW II on. I escaped and coped by fantasizing on better places and times when I would be big and able able to make life the way I wanted it to be, while hoping he and my mother would not get into a fight. When I would watch adventure movies on TV, westerns and war movies, I would re-play them, out loud in my bed at night - and get yelled at by my brothers to shut up. I cannot see anything good about that and I could not control the addictive behavior of going back into DD's and it was not doing me any good to escape - from sleeping, from paying attention is school, doing homework; screwing up the job because I was not there, getting lost driving because I was not paying attention to the landmarks.... It was like other people had something going on in their brains that I was missing that programmed them to be present and aware - or I had some defect that took me out. Now, today, at 71, in my hotel room, I am serially raging and acting out. I am triggered because this new Acer laptop is junk and I will have to go back to the computer shop where they sold it to me - where they said they could not get chromebooks in this country - and argue with them. I anticipate them telling me I paid for it - $430.00 - and i have to deal with it. The computer tells me they were supposed to instal the Windows 10 O S and it is part of the sale. .... and so i am smashing this computer against their counter and they are calling the cops . Today I am raging at myself - because I cannot find the receipt for this piece of junk and I did find the receipt for the deposit on this hotel, which i could not find two days ago when I needed it. Now i am acting out strangling someone who - in 1974 - 75 - arguing about the war in Vietnam - everyone i knew then in the academic world called us "Baby-kllers", did their Dissertations and theses about us - and none of them cared at all about the truth - he said to me "What makes you think you know more about Vietnam than I do?" as he was ragging all the crazy things they used to say then - and could not hear the things I saw and did and bled for in Vietnam. I was too stunned then to even talk. But every time that memory comes up I smash him across the forehead with the bamboo bong and then.... i kill or cripple him. I remember the manager at a Wells Fargo branch who refused to let me WD some money from my account - I had the money in my account, and it was almost 5:00 p.m. and he had his coat on and was going to leave. I could not get a motel that weekend - had to sleep in the bed of my pickup. It was not life-threatening. But evey time i try to go over that memory again - to handle it reasonably - I go out of control and choke him , take his wallet and leave - and then I would have gone to prison. Now this acting out is not helpful to me. If I am going to fight today's battles effectively I need to let go of past hatred. If you are able to schedule your DD - if I could do that - then you have control over it - so it is just entertainment, escaping from stress. If I could get to that level of control - life might even be worth living. It would be worth a shot anyway.
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