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Post by katie on Dec 19, 2018 21:31:21 GMT
Have you ever had to stop yourself from daydreaming while out in public? Whenever I am with a big group of people and I start to feel anxious I always start to daydream while half like I am half aware of what going on and yet in a daydream. When I am getting into the daydream and start to make facial expressions I stop before anyone notices. I once had a friend ask me am ok while I was daydreaming and brought me back to reality got embarrassed.
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Post by kate101 on Apr 30, 2019 11:19:58 GMT
I can relate to daydreaming of situations that might occur, reactions to conversations I could have with people, and it can be stressful. I daydream of negative reactions of the people I will have conversations with. But when I have conversations with those people about the topics I was daydreaming about, the conversations are positive, and not as judgemental. I think of how I want to say something that will not be a negative judgement, and then work on what I want to say, get to the point, but be respectful of the others. Also, while in conversation, I relax my shoulders, look into the persons eyes and listen to every word they are saying. This is helping me. I hope it helps you too.
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Post by fellowmder on May 9, 2019 2:00:28 GMT
Thank you Katie for your input. Now I am a little more uncertain about things: so MD is an addiction - O.K., so it is how people cope with and excape from reality.? When I was a small child and some nights I was in terror because a drunken, violent s.o.b. (my father) was raging around the house yelling about all the terrible things in his life, from the WW II on. I escaped and coped by fantasizing on better places and times when I would be big and able able to make life the way I wanted it to be, while hoping he and my mother would not get into a fight. When I would watch adventure movies on TV, westerns and war movies, I would re-play them, out loud in my bed at night - and get yelled at by my brothers to shut up. I cannot see anything good about that and I could not control the addictive behavior of going back into DD's and it was not doing me any good to escape - from sleeping, from paying attention is school, doing homework; screwing up the job because I was not there, getting lost driving because I was not paying attention to the landmarks.... It was like other people had something going on in their brains that I was missing that programmed them to be present and aware - or I had some defect that took me out. Now, today, at 71, in my hotel room, I am serially raging and acting out. I am triggered because this new Acer laptop is junk and I will have to go back to the computer shop where they sold it to me - where they said they could not get chromebooks in this country - and argue with them. I anticipate them telling me I paid for it - $430.00 - and i have to deal with it. The computer tells me they were supposed to instal the Windows 10 O S and it is part of the sale. .... and so i am smashing this computer against their counter and they are calling the cops . Today I am raging at myself - because I cannot find the receipt for this piece of junk and I did find the receipt for the deposit on this hotel, which i could not find two days ago when I needed it. Now i am acting out strangling someone who - in 1974 - 75 - arguing about the war in Vietnam - everyone i knew then in the academic world called us "Baby-kllers", did their Dissertations and theses about us - and none of them cared at all about the truth - he said to me "What makes you think you know more about Vietnam than I do?" as he was ragging all the crazy things they used to say then - and could not hear the things I saw and did and bled for in Vietnam. I was too stunned then to even talk. But every time that memory comes up I smash him across the forehead with the bamboo bong and then.... i kill or cripple him. I remember the manager at a Wells Fargo branch who refused to let me WD some money from my account - I had the money in my account, and it was almost 5:00 p.m. and he had his coat on and was going to leave. I could not get a motel that weekend - had to sleep in the bed of my pickup. It was not life-threatening. But evey time i try to go over that memory again - to handle it reasonably - I go out of control and choke him , take his wallet and leave - and then I would have gone to prison. Now this acting out is not helpful to me. If I am going to fight today's battles effectively I need to let go of past hatred. If you are able to schedule your DD - if I could do that - then you have control over it - so it is just entertainment, escaping from stress. If I could get to that level of control - life might even be worth living. It would be worth a shot anyway. Hello! You are 71 and i am 17 yrs old. Nice to meet you. As i were reading this thread i was in an awe as to how daydreaming can still be part of our life as we are in 30s, 40s, 60s really. I don't mean to judge or scale anything by any age factor but still i were just awestruck. Coming to the point. Although i don't know much about you or your dds but you can try mindfulness and writing a diary everyday. As if your diary were your friend with whom you'd be able to share your problems everyday. On the other hand mindfulness would atleast keep you in your present everyday. i wanted to ask you a favour. to one day(when ure free) write about your life as a daydreamer. What all did you try over these years to keep it shut. Something like this won't help you but us (readers of the post).  By the way, you can talk to me anytime. Pepole of your age in my country tend to feel a lot lonesome just like you. They tend to not talk but if others do talk to them they forget about their physical pains and everything. It is really rejuvenating.(i have observed it a lot) there are videos on YouTube about an old guy talking to a young child. Even we could have such conversations. It would maybe help in keeping this dd away for a while. Sorry in advance if i crossed any line while writing this(i ain't gopd with words) for reading |
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Post by trex56 on May 9, 2019 12:48:59 GMT
I daydream in public a lot. Sometimes I can be in a DD and carry on a conversation or work at the same time and sometimes I space out. I can daydream without making any expressions so there is nothing to really stop me from doing it in public... I've been using affirmations before social situations. I tell myself I'm going to be present and make a real effort to keep the conversation going, etc. It's not easy though  Now, today, at 71, in my hotel room, I am serially raging and acting out. Hi kondiao! I've struggled with violent daydreams too. It's like I keep revisiting stuff from my past and 'fix it' by doing something violent. And I think that can be a downward spiral to get into. These thoughts were making me depressed - and the more depressed I was, the more I would focus on these negative daydreams. Now when the daydreams start to stir up negative emotions I know it's time to take my dog for a walk, work out, draw, etc...If there is anything that helps pull you out of your daydreams, use it when things get negative. |
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Post by kondiao on May 10, 2019 5:54:10 GMT
I daydream in public a lot. Sometimes I can be in a DD and carry on a conversation or work at the same time and sometimes I space out. I can daydream without making any expressions so there is nothing to really stop me from doing it in public... I've been using affirmations before social situations. I tell myself I'm going to be present and make a real effort to keep the conversation going, etc. It's not easy though Now, today, at 71, in my hotel room, I am serially raging and acting out. Hi kondiao! I've struggled with violent daydreams too. It's like I keep revisiting stuff from my past and 'fix it' by doing something violent. And I think that can be a downward spiral to get into. These thoughts were making me depressed - and the more depressed I was, the more I would focus on these negative daydreams. Now when the daydreams start to stir up negative emotions I know it's time to take my dog for a walk, work out, draw, etc...If there is anything that helps pull you out of your daydreams, use it when things get negative. |
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Post by kondiao on May 10, 2019 6:38:38 GMT
I am afraid my MdDD is worse for me than for other people on this Forum.
WHen I go into that DD space it is much like an addict going into the addictive behavior - it is out of my control.
Today, riding my Honda scooter back to my hotel - this is in Quy Nhon, Vietnam - I was continually going over past offenses in my mind and re-playing them so that I came out on top, i.e. I humiliated or dominated or hurt the other person. One of the scenes that kept coming back to me was in a small Wells Fargo bank in an alien place called Idaho where I went late on a Friday afternoon to get some cash out of the ATM inside. I had to call to a bank rep on their phone there and get something handled and she released a few hundred dollars to me. So I tried to get the bank teller to give me this cash and she refused.... talked to the manger and he was not interested... talked to the rep on the phone again and handed the phone to the manager and he acted like - this is my world and I am the Man here and you don't tell me what to do - and hung up and I asked him to release 200.00 to me and he refused. Putting on his coat to go home he put on that mean smile that says; "Fkk off and die," as his mouth said, "you come back here Monday and we'll be glad to help you..."
So I was going to have to sleep in my pickup truck that weekend instead of getting a motel room. Not such a big deal.
But every time I re-play that scene I get violent with this prkc: i kick him in the groin, hold a buck knife to his ear and threaten to cut him. Then (in my imagination) he of course he tells me to go to hell so i naturally slash his ear; throw him to the ground and touch his eye with the tip of the blade, or something like that and tell him I am in control here and not him and he will do as I tell him.... Somewhere along the line I come back to earth and pay attention again to my driving and push aside this dangerous DD behavior.... and then I go through the cycle again and again. I feel the deep shame for doing this crazy stuff and I feel terrible about putting myself in danger of an accident invovling other people because I am not competent to operate a motor vehicle with so little of my attention on what I am doing - so I know the people who text and talk on their phones while driving are also dangerous, but I am not responsible for their behavior and I will have to deal with the consequences of my behavior...
If I could have stopped this acting out at the first episode I would have, or the second or the third. If I could not go off into space I would not ever DD. If I could let go of the hatred I have for the people who have disrespected me all my life I would drop it. But that is not happening.
So what triggered this DD episode? At the KFC restaurant where I went to eat lunch, while I was waiting in line at the counter with so many groups of young people all clammering for attention, while I was politely giving space to the 3 people in front of me all talking at once to the server and to others behind them, handing money back and forth, et cetera, a young woman came in and stepped in front of me. I stepped ahead of her to assert that I was there first. I took the menu to point to the server what I wanted and then she took the menu and I took it back to order another thing --- she took it away and I grabbed it away from her and said in English "Hey, I was here first, what's wrong with you?"... And she just gave up the fight and looked at me.
Then I was very upset and wished I was somewhere else.
The problem here was not a conflict of cultural values. Most Vietnamese I have interacted with here have been polite and friendly most of the time. But they stand closer to each other than Americans generally do and push in front of other people in line or driving and I hate people crowding me and I get upset when they disrespect me. Other Americans that I know here act overbearing and loud and disregard the sensitivities of the locals - and people tolerate them and give them respect. But I am not going to act like them.
And I get disrespected.
I ate my meal in a state of misery, feeling dettached and then went back to my hotel. Not enjoying the beautiful view of the sea along the beach road but hating the people who had insulted and cheated me all my life.
So here I am, in an exotic place like I used to DD about when I was a kid, like i studied anthropology for four years to be able to understand and I am not into the experience of being here - I am wasting my life away in DD about taking revenge on people.
Can anyone who does MaDD help, or relate to this?
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Post by katie on Nov 4, 2019 15:51:38 GMT
I haven't been daydreaming in public I would say for 6 months and last Saturday I was talking to my friends about I movie I saw that shocked me and made me think about my mental health so of course my brain as soon as I settled began to think about daydreaming and I could not go to sleep I had 2 friends in the same room as me and it put me in bad form because my day went so well. I had to give in and daydream for a while..
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Post by Herro on Nov 4, 2019 16:46:30 GMT
I've had people ask me who I was talking to, as they saw my lips moving. When I'm out on the street, I sometimes worry people may notice my lips are moving and think I'm weird. I fear I might run into someone I know while whispering words. I also feel the same when I smile as a reaction to something in my dd.
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Post by dilaraaylin on Nov 7, 2019 14:33:54 GMT
Have you ever had to stop yourself from daydreaming while out in public? Whenever I am with a big group of people and I start to feel anxious I always start to daydream while half like I am half aware of what going on and yet in a daydream. When I am getting into the daydream and start to make facial expressions I stop before anyone notices. I once had a friend ask me am ok while I was daydreaming and brought me back to reality got embarrassed. |
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Post by dragontooth00 on Nov 7, 2019 22:56:49 GMT
I am afraid my MdDD is worse for me than for other people on this Forum. WHen I go into that DD space it is much like an addict going into the addictive behavior - it is out of my control. Today, riding my Honda scooter back to my hotel - this is in Quy Nhon, Vietnam - I was continually going over past offenses in my mind and re-playing them so that I came out on top, i.e. I humiliated or dominated or hurt the other person. One of the scenes that kept coming back to me was in a small Wells Fargo bank in an alien place called Idaho where I went late on a Friday afternoon to get some cash out of the ATM inside. I had to call to a bank rep on their phone there and get something handled and she released a few hundred dollars to me. So I tried to get the bank teller to give me this cash and she refused.... talked to the manger and he was not interested... talked to the rep on the phone again and handed the phone to the manager and he acted like - this is my world and I am the Man here and you don't tell me what to do - and hung up and I asked him to release 200.00 to me and he refused. Putting on his coat to go home he put on that mean smile that says; "Fkk off and die," as his mouth said, "you come back here Monday and we'll be glad to help you..." So I was going to have to sleep in my pickup truck that weekend instead of getting a motel room. Not such a big deal. But every time I re-play that scene I get violent with this prkc: i kick him in the groin, hold a buck knife to his ear and threaten to cut him. Then (in my imagination) he of course he tells me to go to hell so i naturally slash his ear; throw him to the ground and touch his eye with the tip of the blade, or something like that and tell him I am in control here and not him and he will do as I tell him.... Somewhere along the line I come back to earth and pay attention again to my driving and push aside this dangerous DD behavior.... and then I go through the cycle again and again. I feel the deep shame for doing this crazy stuff and I feel terrible about putting myself in danger of an accident invovling other people because I am not competent to operate a motor vehicle with so little of my attention on what I am doing - so I know the people who text and talk on their phones while driving are also dangerous, but I am not responsible for their behavior and I will have to deal with the consequences of my behavior... If I could have stopped this acting out at the first episode I would have, or the second or the third. If I could not go off into space I would not ever DD. If I could let go of the hatred I have for the people who have disrespected me all my life I would drop it. But that is not happening. So what triggered this DD episode? At the KFC restaurant where I went to eat lunch, while I was waiting in line at the counter with so many groups of young people all clammering for attention, while I was politely giving space to the 3 people in front of me all talking at once to the server and to others behind them, handing money back and forth, et cetera, a young woman came in and stepped in front of me. I stepped ahead of her to assert that I was there first. I took the menu to point to the server what I wanted and then she took the menu and I took it back to order another thing --- she took it away and I grabbed it away from her and said in English "Hey, I was here first, what's wrong with you?"... And she just gave up the fight and looked at me. Then I was very upset and wished I was somewhere else. The problem here was not a conflict of cultural values. Most Vietnamese I have interacted with here have been polite and friendly most of the time. But they stand closer to each other than Americans generally do and push in front of other people in line or driving and I hate people crowding me and I get upset when they disrespect me. Other Americans that I know here act overbearing and loud and disregard the sensitivities of the locals - and people tolerate them and give them respect. But I am not going to act like them. And I get disrespected. I ate my meal in a state of misery, feeling dettached and then went back to my hotel. Not enjoying the beautiful view of the sea along the beach road but hating the people who had insulted and cheated me all my life. So here I am, in an exotic place like I used to DD about when I was a kid, like i studied anthropology for four years to be able to understand and I am not into the experience of being here - I am wasting my life away in DD about taking revenge on people. Can anyone who does MaDD help, or relate to this? It sounds like you have a lot of anger in you, and your daydreams are a way of releasing that anger. I would suggest talking to a therapist about it, if you haven’t already. Maybe even anger management if it’s bad enough to be leaking into real life too. MaDD is bad enough by taking over your life, but if the daydreams are as violent and infuriating as they are, then I’m sure they don’t do much good for your mood. I know that when I linger on stuff that makes me upset, I only get more upset the longer I think about it. Dealing with all the anger may make quitting easier, or at least give you more pleasant daydreams that don’t involve so much violence. |
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Post by natnonsense on Dec 18, 2019 23:50:07 GMT
Have you ever had to stop yourself from daydreaming while out in public? Whenever I am with a big group of people and I start to feel anxious I always start to daydream while half like I am half aware of what going on and yet in a daydream. When I am getting into the daydream and start to make facial expressions I stop before anyone notices. I once had a friend ask me am ok while I was daydreaming and brought me back to reality got embarrassed. This happens to me too when I'm hanging out with friends or family. Especially with social media, I might look at my phone and see something that will fuel a daydream and then I just zone out. I sometimes have to put in extra effort to really pay attention if people are talking but I'm not participating in the conversation, just so I don't drift off. |
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