Post by jack on Dec 20, 2018 2:15:33 GMT
I'm a 38yr old male, married, with 2 young kids. I've been daydreaming since middle school, probably 6th grade. I just learned about the term "maladaptive daydreaming" a few months ago, and asked a therapist about it and he never heard of it. Also my primary care doc has never heard of it either. I used to do it a lot in high school. Slowed down a little in college and a bit afterwards, but really picked up this last year.
I know why I do it. It's an escape/coping mechanism for me. This year has been the 2nd worst year of my life (2015 was my worst) and I've been so insanely bored and depressed this year and drifting off into this daydream/fake world is comforting. Just an escape. My daydreams, since they've started back up this past July, have evolved a bit over time but mainly it's about me being a very famous and successful pro Golfer while also being a successful actor in Hollywood. Also, I always daydream of having an intense romantic relationship with celebrities, lately mainly Selena Gomez. Why her? I believe it's because I have deep regret over lots of choices in my life, especially when I was younger. In these daydreams I'm not 38, I'm 26 or so and am just this charismatic and smart wonder of the world.
I've always had insecurities and social anxiety. I've always daydreamed about having relationships with beautiful women, either those I know in real life through school/college or celebrities I feel especially attracted to (not always purely physical but because of their success). My depression comes from being a lonely kid/teen and lonely adult. I wish I had a ton of friends and no problems with dating women, but that has never been me due to my anxiety. These daydreams put me in a world where I can be all that I dream of being. This isolation in my life caused me to desire "meaning" in my life a great deal, and being a rich celebrity would give that meaning I desperately want as they have people always wanting to be with them, take pics with them, etc. And of course they have no issues with the opposite sex.
I could probably write 10 pages about my entire experience with maladapative daydreaming, but unlike some others here, I wish I didn't do it. I hate it, I really do. I hate that I have to do it. I've been trying to cut all my triggers. The biggest trigger for me is music, by far. I feel like any song I listen to (even so called "happy" songs) just make me daydream about different scenarios that the song makes me think about. Yes, with myself and Selena Gomez arguing, or being happy together, or laughing. The point is I'm with her, she wants to be with me, and that gives me meaning in my life. I plan on stopping listening to all music in the next day or so. I just have to try it. Oh yes and I tried Luvox a couple of months ago but it didn't work for me! I wish I could just stop. If anyone has any suggestions other than stopping all triggers and Luvox, please let me know. Thank you, and I'm glad there is this forum.
I know why I do it. It's an escape/coping mechanism for me. This year has been the 2nd worst year of my life (2015 was my worst) and I've been so insanely bored and depressed this year and drifting off into this daydream/fake world is comforting. Just an escape. My daydreams, since they've started back up this past July, have evolved a bit over time but mainly it's about me being a very famous and successful pro Golfer while also being a successful actor in Hollywood. Also, I always daydream of having an intense romantic relationship with celebrities, lately mainly Selena Gomez. Why her? I believe it's because I have deep regret over lots of choices in my life, especially when I was younger. In these daydreams I'm not 38, I'm 26 or so and am just this charismatic and smart wonder of the world.
I've always had insecurities and social anxiety. I've always daydreamed about having relationships with beautiful women, either those I know in real life through school/college or celebrities I feel especially attracted to (not always purely physical but because of their success). My depression comes from being a lonely kid/teen and lonely adult. I wish I had a ton of friends and no problems with dating women, but that has never been me due to my anxiety. These daydreams put me in a world where I can be all that I dream of being. This isolation in my life caused me to desire "meaning" in my life a great deal, and being a rich celebrity would give that meaning I desperately want as they have people always wanting to be with them, take pics with them, etc. And of course they have no issues with the opposite sex.
I could probably write 10 pages about my entire experience with maladapative daydreaming, but unlike some others here, I wish I didn't do it. I hate it, I really do. I hate that I have to do it. I've been trying to cut all my triggers. The biggest trigger for me is music, by far. I feel like any song I listen to (even so called "happy" songs) just make me daydream about different scenarios that the song makes me think about. Yes, with myself and Selena Gomez arguing, or being happy together, or laughing. The point is I'm with her, she wants to be with me, and that gives me meaning in my life. I plan on stopping listening to all music in the next day or so. I just have to try it. Oh yes and I tried Luvox a couple of months ago but it didn't work for me! I wish I could just stop. If anyone has any suggestions other than stopping all triggers and Luvox, please let me know. Thank you, and I'm glad there is this forum.
, I relate to this so much. I'm going to make my own post, but I'm 36 with a child, and this affects every aspect of my life. I'm in the market for noise cancelling headphones but I'm realizing it may just block out even more of my life than I already block out.
how to explain it well, but those things do not fulfill me completely. I get a great deal of joy from my kids, and am very grateful for them. My wife is good, but it isn't really a great marriage. That's a whole other story. So basically, the kids and this "marriage" isn't giving me what I need to stop this daydreaming. I would say that if I didn't have my kids I most likely would have not survived this past year. I had moments where it made no sense for me to go on. I mean, whats the point? It all seemed so meaningless.