Post by theduke on Jan 14, 2019 7:31:28 GMT
I read about this phenomenon and following various links eventually led me to this site. A number of things I've heard sound like me. I've paced around daydreaming for so long that my knees were weak afterward. I like to do things like listen to music or toss a ball while I do it. I think the physical things like pacing or tossing a ball help me keep my body occupied so I can focus entirely on the mental. I do think I have it generally under control so I don't know if it fits the category of "maladaptive" for me. If I have something I need to do I can focus to do it and only daydream in my leisure time. When I had access to a social life I wouldn't pass up opportunities to be with real people to daydream, although I am introverted and shy.
This has gotten a bit worse for me recently because I don't have much going on. I got a Master's Degree and then had to move back home and haven't been able to get a job for a year and a half. I recently decided I'd just go on and get a PHD so hopefully I'll be able to get funding for that. But I've just been stuck at my parents and I feel like a huge loser. My relationship with my parents isn't good either, my mother hit me as a boy and is verbally abusive. I used to have daydreams that were me in ideal future lives that were somewhat attainable; being a professor at NYU or something and living in a nice walk up in Manhattan with a classy wife. But it's just become impossible to imagine anything good happening to me as I am. So I've really latched on to the celebrity thing as so many people seem to have done. An alternate version of my life where I'm a movie star, rock, star athlete or something. For some reason that's more comforting because something that I actually could have but don't just feels like "rubbing my face in it". I'm not even the kind of person who cares about celebrity gossip or anything, I would never admit this in real life. I actively avoid seeing interviews a lot of the time now because if something contradicts a very fictionalized version of a person that I've created it might ruin it.
I'm trying to go back to more realistic ones because I think in the long run it could make me feel better about myself, but at the moment even trying to have positive "real life" thoughts is too painful.
For the celebrity ones I tend to invent this whole life for myself in ridiculous detail but I have some shorter form things do too. I read that some people have negative daydreams as a coping mechanism when they have issues that are too scary to think about; they can feel the pain but don't have to face the real source of it. I do this as well, frequently imagining things like getting divorced/cheated on or having children who hate me. I probably do it in lieu of the stuff with my mother or the fear that my whole life will be a waste. I also dream about being a wounded soldier in immense pain and having a kind nurse take care of me. I think that's because I bottle up so much of the pain I feel, it feels good to imagine being in pain and having someone acknowledge it. That one is relaxing when I try to sleep.
IDK what I really want to talk about here. I used to assume everyone daydreamed like I did but when I found out they didn't I felt a little weird so at least some people do!
This has gotten a bit worse for me recently because I don't have much going on. I got a Master's Degree and then had to move back home and haven't been able to get a job for a year and a half. I recently decided I'd just go on and get a PHD so hopefully I'll be able to get funding for that. But I've just been stuck at my parents and I feel like a huge loser. My relationship with my parents isn't good either, my mother hit me as a boy and is verbally abusive. I used to have daydreams that were me in ideal future lives that were somewhat attainable; being a professor at NYU or something and living in a nice walk up in Manhattan with a classy wife. But it's just become impossible to imagine anything good happening to me as I am. So I've really latched on to the celebrity thing as so many people seem to have done. An alternate version of my life where I'm a movie star, rock, star athlete or something. For some reason that's more comforting because something that I actually could have but don't just feels like "rubbing my face in it". I'm not even the kind of person who cares about celebrity gossip or anything, I would never admit this in real life. I actively avoid seeing interviews a lot of the time now because if something contradicts a very fictionalized version of a person that I've created it might ruin it.
I'm trying to go back to more realistic ones because I think in the long run it could make me feel better about myself, but at the moment even trying to have positive "real life" thoughts is too painful. For the celebrity ones I tend to invent this whole life for myself in ridiculous detail but I have some shorter form things do too. I read that some people have negative daydreams as a coping mechanism when they have issues that are too scary to think about; they can feel the pain but don't have to face the real source of it. I do this as well, frequently imagining things like getting divorced/cheated on or having children who hate me. I probably do it in lieu of the stuff with my mother or the fear that my whole life will be a waste. I also dream about being a wounded soldier in immense pain and having a kind nurse take care of me. I think that's because I bottle up so much of the pain I feel, it feels good to imagine being in pain and having someone acknowledge it. That one is relaxing when I try to sleep.
IDK what I really want to talk about here. I used to assume everyone daydreamed like I did but when I found out they didn't I felt a little weird so at least some people do!
