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Post by katie on Jan 30, 2019 18:29:25 GMT
Does anyone else feel like they have been daydreaming for so long that they kind of lost a sense of who they are in reality? I have been thinking a lot about how long I have been daydreaming and what I do to make me feel like myself and I can't think of much when I am not daydreaming I am just following what other people want to do. i.e. Yoga I was asked by a friend to go don't get me wrong I enjoy it. Its just that I feel like I am not really taking care of myself in the way of doing what I want to do with my life.
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Post by Sam on Jan 30, 2019 18:49:03 GMT
I completely understand this. Part of the loss of my sense of self is from being isolated from other people, but some of it is definitely from daydreaming. I've always been a people pleaser and it seems like everything I do is because I think it will get me other people's approval, not because I truly want to do it.
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Post by dragontooth00 on Sept 30, 2019 0:50:02 GMT
I definitely feel this. There was a point in time where I 100% didn’t know who I was. I was in an Interpersonal Communications class in my first semester at college, and I was writing down descriptions of who I was, and I noticed that some of the words had been changed. Like silly changed to clumsy, and more positive words turning to negative word transformations like that. It was then that I relized that I didn’t know if I was a genuine person or if I was a manipulative person or if I was trying subconsciously to get attention or what. I didn’t feel like a real person Bc I didnt know what was real about my feelings. I still worry about it sometimes, but I try to remember that I’m an impulsive person Bc of my ADD, and whatever I do in the moment is how I was really feeling, but it can be hard to convince myself sometimes. I’m lucky enough to have a good group of friends that will support me and tell me what they think when I worry about stuff like that. I guess I still don’t really know, but I feel like I’m more comfortable with myself with analyzing how I feel in any given moment when I’m not MDing. I’m better now, I think, but I still have a ways to go to managing my MD and living in the moment rather than in my head.
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Post by katie on Oct 5, 2019 20:19:45 GMT
I definitely feel this. There was a point in time where I 100% didn’t know who I was. I was in an Interpersonal Communications class in my first semester at college, and I was writing down descriptions of who I was, and I noticed that some of the words had been changed. Like silly changed to clumsy, and more positive words turning to negative word transformations like that. It was then that I relized that I didn’t know if I was a genuine person or if I was a manipulative person or if I was trying subconsciously to get attention or what. I didn’t feel like a real person Bc I didnt know what was real about my feelings. I still worry about it sometimes, but I try to remember that I’m an impulsive person Bc of my ADD, and whatever I do in the moment is how I was really feeling, but it can be hard to convince myself sometimes. I’m lucky enough to have a good group of friends that will support me and tell me what they think when I worry about stuff like that. I guess I still don’t really know, but I feel like I’m more comfortable with myself with analyzing how I feel in any given moment when I’m not MDing. I’m better now, I think, but I still have a ways to go to managing my MD and living in the moment rather than in my head. Hey sorry only replying now didn't want to rush a reply to you. It was the same for me in college didn't know what qualities I had. Now the ones I know I have make me me so I am grateful for that. Its good to have friends to support you and knowing how you feel, and expressing it is something that I don't know how to do at times well the negative feeling I can't process. We are all here to help people understand why it is they daydream and how can we ease it if possible it all depends when you are ready and in a good place to start doing so. Look around help and research and see if there is anything useful for you looking forward to hear from you again thank you for sharing. :) |
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Post by lucy13 on Apr 5, 2020 13:51:12 GMT
This thread really resonated with me - yeah I totally feel like I have no idea who I am at times. I think it's because my identity in MD mode is so fluid and changing - the character in my head always shows so many different sides and layers; sometimes she's cold-blooded, other times she's the kindest person in the room, other times she's impulsive and risk-taking. These various versions of me in MD-mode mean I don't have a particular anchor to ground down my identity, and so I'm everything and nothing at the same time. I think it's great what dragontooth00 said about having a supportive group of friends - likewise my friends and family mean the world to me and they are probably what gives me whatever sense of identity I actually do have in real life. But I couldn't imagine (ironically!) telling my friends or family about MD - it's not something that can be easily explained unless you've gone through it yourself. |
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Post by elawbhs2 on May 28, 2020 12:02:15 GMT
I’ve started going to therapy and I noticed something strange about my daydreaming. I only daydream in third person and it’s like I can’t do it in first. I’m always watching myself doing things like I’m in a movie or watching him in a crowd. What’s even stranger is I can’t see my own face. He has the same physical appearance as me, does similar things as me and since it’s my dream I know exactly what he’s feeling. He’s always laughing with friends, playing basketball, working or out on a date. He’s always doing well and he’s popular in whatever environment he’s in. People say nice things about him and if they don’t he’s secure and he’s self-confident so things don’t bother him. But I can never examine his facial features and identify that person as me. Whenever I try to zoom in on that person’s face, my dream stops. Sometimes, my body feels differently and I transfer from third person to first person mid-dream. It lasts for like 5 seconds then the feeling goes away.
Also my dreams are really blurry. Although I know what’s transpiring in the dreams, they’re never as vivid or surreal as the dreams I think other people are having. The lighting is always dim, even if I’m in a bright place. I can only dream of a certain scenario for about 5 min at the most then I change it.
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Post by elawbhs2 on May 28, 2020 12:16:47 GMT
I think I started daydreaming excessively because I felt like I never had an idea of who I was in the first place or I thought I couldn’t be me and get along with anyone else. I didn’t make friends easily back in elementary school when my daydreaming started. I wasn’t like the other kids for reasons I’m not quite sure of.
When I was younger I severed the connection between my inner self and my outer self. We all have those two people. We have our inner selves which make up who we are at our core. Are we kind, rude, generous, stingy, funny or friendly? Our inner selves even decide what kinds of activities or subjects in school we like. Some people gravitate towards Math and others towards English. Some like basketball, like me, and others like volleyball or baseball. I think the inner self sends you signals that helps you navigate through your life and your brain reacts to those signals. Then our outer self is the one we show to others. We may show kindness, affection and envy or another large combination of personality traits. We may show high abilities in math and science or poetry. Same goes for sports. I think you’re connected when the two selves are connected with one another and are influencing each other. The inner body tells the outer body what it wants to be done and the outer body responds and does it in the real world. The inner self then feels awarded and you’re happy as a result. I just feel like I lost that connection somewhere down the road so I’ve just been trying to do whatever to feel like I can fit in somewhere. All it’s given me is a ton of anxiety, fear, lack of confidence and self-deprecating habits that I’m having a really hard time getting over. I feel like the inner me has been concealed deeply within my body while the outer me tries to take on whatever shape it needs to survive in the current environment. It’s been the same process since I was young and it never worked.
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