|
Post by misfitteen on Feb 15, 2019 1:28:25 GMT
Hi everyone. This is my first time here and believe it or not, I just found out about MD half an hour ago and have been sitting here quietly reading all your intros and "God" because..I get it. I come from a culture where things like these dont exist all that much and a person is "damaged" if they have it. I have had this "person" in my mind for a long time. So long that I dont even remember when or how I made him up. I am a 17 yo straight girl. My "main character" is NOT a hetero teen girl. Its not just one person though, its like an alternate universe with its own people and side characters and all and they are as real to me as anything. I cannot imagine ever not having them. Every other night I sit in the dark with my music and.."act out". Its like when I am alone, I can easily "be him or anyone else in the universe". I can have convos between two seperate characters. I am aware of it and immediately stop when someone is in sight of me. I feel self concious but when they leave, I go back to being them again. It does not hinder my daily life but annoys me sometimes when I cant be active. To the point where I go to bed angry. I thought they might be characters that I want to write about. So i did. I love reading and writing and also wrote a couple unfinished books about their lives but I find them..unsatisfying. its like what i write is..final. I change things around everyday and something so final seems..wrong. I dont know if you consider this MD but i have been reading about symptoms and other things and the intros here..I feel like for the 1st time there is somewhat of an explanation for my people and their lives. Please, i need answers and doctors for this sort of thing isnt an option. My best friend who is older knows about the characters but only in the sense that they are book characters. I dont know why I am writing here but I am. What do you guys think of this?
|
|
|
Post by misfitteen on Feb 15, 2019 18:00:08 GMT
I would say yes, you are maladaptive daydreaming. When you have an emotional attachment to characters and places in your daydreams, when you feel as though they're real even though you are fully aware they are not, when you have the tendency to move around (or "act out" as you put it) while daydreaming, and when you have the ability to snap out of it easily, those are common MD symptoms. You didn't say whether or not you do it often to the point of addiction, where it can take over your life. Many others who maladaptive daydream will prefer it over real life. This causes procrastination with real life tasks and activities, and the choice to replace real-life expectations such as going to work/school, making excuses to miss functions and socializing, etc. These are all things we talk about here to try and find a way to cope. Also, "finding a doctor" to talk about your maladaptive daydreams is extremely difficult. Dr. Somer elisomer began making his research public in the early 2000s, yet talking to a GP to initiate help from a therapist often goes nowhere because it tends to be brushed off as kid-stuff, and to "just stop". Even many therapists aren't cluing in properly to what MD is - almost two decades later. This is such a hard disorder to detect because individuals who have it keep it concealed to the point of perfection. Since we know we do it, and can stop anytime, it's easy to excuse. Also, since it's morbidly embarrassing to talk about, many individuals fear that they will seem silly or that their relationships with others will be damaged if details of their daydreams are ever learned. It's also negatively and inaccurately described as a mental disorder, or more specifically schizophrenia or dissociative disorders. Though there are people with mental illness who also MD, MD in and of itself is not a mental illness. I think I once read that Dr. Somer described it as a behavioral disorder. I agree. Choosing to daydream over having a real life is definitely a behavioral problem. If you can't seem to stop, then it's an addiction. Thank you for your insight. I am not addicted to it but I do get annoyed easily when I havent done it for a few hours. And there is never a day where I havent. Real life problems trigger it. Its like its easier to fall into character than be myself u know?
|
|
|
Post by alvi on Feb 15, 2019 21:50:27 GMT
I just found out about MD half an hour ago and have been sitting here quietly reading all your intros and thinking "God" because..I get it. Thank you for your insight. I am not addicted to it but I do get annoyed easily when I havent done it for a few hours. And there is never a day where I havent. Real life problems trigger it. Its like its easier to fall into character than be myself u know? Was there a reason you were looking into daydreaming? I hadn't heard of MD until I looked up how do I stop daydreaming all the time, or something like that. I think the fact you felt like posting here and can relate to what is being posted is a sign you have MD. I guess MD is like a lot of conditions, it goes along a spectrum. Some of us find it affects out lives to the point that functioning in the real world is difficult and others its just a minor inconvenience at times. Getting annoyed when you can't daydream is a sign that its become an issue, even if its only a small one.
|
|
|
Post by froststar on Feb 20, 2019 20:30:27 GMT
For the longest time, I honestly thought I was going insane. For such a large block of time, I would pretend to be someone else. I'd lose hours walking around in circles and daydreaming away. I'm a bisexual 24-year-old girl and I've been doing this since high school. At first, it started small. I'd walk around in circles while on the phone with a friend of mine, we'd role play together. It was great and I loved it. I can't honestly tell you when I picked up a pair of headphones and started to do it on my own. For an hour a day. To three hours. To four hours. To five hours. To six hours. To finally all day. I can remember clearly telling my mom what I did all day one time. Why I was walking around outside so much. " You aren't autistic are you?" So I started to hide what I did. I'd lie and tell them I was looking for something all the while getting caught up in my daydreams. I struggled and fought against it for years. I thought I was alone. That I was the only one that struggled with this. With the repetition of walking around until my feet blistered. Of listening to music at full blast while my mind wandered. I lost friends. My grades dropped. I thought I was losing my mind. That there was something wrong with me. Something that I couldn't fix. It's hard to talk about those years even now. I did some things I'm not proud of. I thought I was alone. Until I came across a post on Pinterest. It explained everything I had. The compulsion to walk around. The daydreaming. The music. Everything. I learned I wasn't alone. That it had a name. Maladaptive Daydreaming. I wish I could say everything fixed itself once I found it has a name. It didn't. This isn't one of my daydreams. I still struggle with it each hour of each day. Even now I want to daydream. I can hear it calling me. Sorry, I rambled away but that's my story.
|
|