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Post by Lucy on Mar 6, 2019 18:20:12 GMT
So I've been trying to MD less by trying to become this MD character in my head who is basically my ideal self. She's funny, interesting, bubbly, intelligent ect. and I on the other hand am very introverted, quiet, shy and I become quite insecure at school about literally everything. That's why I like to be alone because that way there's no one to compare myself to. But I don't know whether, to stop daydreaming, I should try to be my MD self or whether I should just accept that this is who I am. I know the most obvious answer would be to accept how I am but I will always want to be my MD self. But then I don't know how I would change myself have a personality like my MD character? How would you become more interesting? Read more??? I should probably just be less insecure. Anyone know how???  |
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Post by Sam on Mar 6, 2019 19:06:06 GMT
I know that I've suggested you try to become more like your daydream self, but truthfully, that's probably not a very healthy goal. I mean, sure, it would be nice if we could use our daydreams to motivate us to achieve those kinds of goals, but you're always going to want more. That's often why trying to fix, say, body features, is never a good goal. Even if you do achieve it, you'll just find something else to be unhappy about. So learning to accept yourself as you are is more achievable, healthy, and realistic. Shyness and insecurity can often (but not always) stem from an internalized dislike of yourself. As such, learning to accept yourself as you are may lead to a personality change in the direction that you desire. Mindfulness is a good way to cultivate that acceptance of how things are.
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sofya
New Daydreamer
I should be studying lol
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Post by sofya on Mar 6, 2019 20:08:03 GMT
I know it's hard to accept who we really are, i often act like my favourite characters and who i am in daydreams without knowing, just bc i wanna be "more cool"... but i don't think it's healthy, after all is not who we really are. Try to write down all the things who are nice about your truly self, it may help  |
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yasmine
Active Daydreamer
i see mdd as a gift but i want to reduce it cause it starts looking like a curse
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Post by yasmine on Mar 7, 2019 17:35:13 GMT
So I've been trying to MD less by trying to become this MD character in my head who is basically my ideal self. She's funny, interesting, bubbly, intelligent ect. and I on the other hand am very introverted, quiet, shy and I become quite insecure at school about literally everything. That's why I like to be alone because that way there's no one to compare myself to. But I don't know whether, to stop daydreaming, I should try to be my MD self or whether I should just accept that this is who I am. I know the most obvious answer would be to accept how I am but I will always want to be my MD self. But then I don't know how I would change myself have a personality like my MD character? How would you become more interesting? To be honest with you there will always be a better you I tried becoming the MD me but she kept changing for the better and I just couldn't get to that goal it isn't a realistic nor healthy goal you can try but if you can't just don't push yourself to much please |
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yasmine
Active Daydreamer
i see mdd as a gift but i want to reduce it cause it starts looking like a curse
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Post by yasmine on Mar 7, 2019 17:37:53 GMT
I know it's hard to accept who we really are, i often act like my favourite characters and who i am in daydreams without knowing, just bc i wanna be "more cool"... but i don't think it's healthy, after all is not who we really are. Try to write down all the things who are nice about your truly self, it may help Indeed I have done the same it's not healthy and an onrealistic goal |
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Post by Raven on Mar 16, 2019 9:54:14 GMT
Lucy I can relate a lot to your post and I've asked myself this question too.
Becoming your MD self is probably impossible. These persons in our heads are surrealistically perfect and it's impossible to change one-self so drastically. But you can definitely better your-self AND accept your-self as you are. Accept that you are shy and introverted and that being sociable won't come as easily as it would for someone else and that you don't have to be as extroverted as other people, it's ok to be who you are. But in the mean time, get out of your comfort zone, force yourself to be a little social and you will soon realise you are not as introverted and shy as you thought you were.
You say you are not funny and uninteresting but that's only because you believe you are not, so you probably don't allow yourself to say the funny things that come to your mind or talk about the things you are interested in because you're afraid of the judgment of others. If you allow yourself to let people in and talk to them about what you love, you will inevitably find people who like the same things and people who find you interesting.
As a fellow introverted person, I know how annoying the "get out of your comfort zone" advice can be, sometimes we just think "I wish I were someone else". But it does work. I have not morphed into a complete extrovert and I still am one of the first people to leave a party, but at least I went to that party. I met someone new, someone laughed at one of my jokes and I leave with a confidence boost making the next party a little easier.
I hope I don't sound too annoying in this post ^^ I just wanted to tell you things I wish I had known a little earlier, because it almost costed me friendships that are really important to me. Hopefully I was lucky enough that my closest friends are extroverted people who just decided we were going to be friends and didn't give up on me until I was completely myself around them. Other wise I would've just let the friendship die, thinking they had better things to do than hang out with me.
You may not be who you wish you were, but trust me you are not as bad as you imagine. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not good enough, especially not your-self.
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