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Post by jujubear on Apr 5, 2019 16:06:10 GMT
Hey everyone. I'm an 18-year-old teenager from South Africa and I'm definitely a Maladaptive daydreamer. It started quite innocently for me ... books. Fantasy books to be exact. I'd read Percy Jackson books and imagine myself in the plot as one of the Gods, saving the world. This was in late primary school. High school started. Life got rough. Started including my daily life into my fictional plots. Went to bed at like 7 pm just so that I could get a few hours of daydreaming. Daydreams began to invade my daily hours. Lost weight. Grades plummeted. That's when I realized that maybe I have a problem. So I looked at the internet and there it was ... maladaptive daydreaming. This was in 2016. Suffice to say, the daydreams got worse. Now I use them to imagine perfect real-life scenarios where I am strong and brave and muscular and all the girls like me or I'm a famous rockstar (sidenote, PinkFloyd's music is a big trigger for me  ). I have tried to stop numerous times to no avail. Mindfulness techniques, meditation, always being busy so as to have no time to daydream, you name it I've tried it. The worse part is, I have almost no social life and the only thing that manages to hold my attention is reading fantasy(sidenote 2, The Malazan book of the fallen has the most vivid storylines... disaster for a maladaptive daydreamer). Somehow, I managed to get good marks and get accepted into university for a course I hate. That's life I guess. Anyways, I'm currently doing my first year and would really, really like to go back to life without being in my head all the time. Sure, the daydreaming is always nice but when reality comes back, it gives you that sinking feeling I hate. I do not want this anymore. I want to feel things in real life, not in my daydreams only. I want to have friends. I want to live a normal life. So today, on my 18th birthday (sidenote 3, only my mother has wished me a happy birthday and I bought my own cake), after much procrastination, I decided to get help. Went to a psychologist. She did not know what I was talking about so that was that. Now I am here. Beginning the journey towards reclaiming my life. So yeah that's my intro. Oh and BTW, I am a huge fan of Dimmer SwitchDisco's Youtube videos. Is she by chance a part of this forum? |
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Post by Sam on Apr 5, 2019 18:33:42 GMT
Welcome to the forum! I'm sorry to hear that the things you have tried so far haven't helped you. You did list the main ones, but you might be able to find others that you haven't tried yet if you look around the forum. Its not really surprising that the psychologist didn't know what maladaptive daydreaming is. Its a relatively new (or newly discovered) condition, and even many mental health professionals have no clue what it is. Dimmer is on this forum, she's part of the staff. Oh, and happy birthday! |
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Post by jujubear on Apr 5, 2019 21:00:50 GMT
It is almost unbelievable how often I have to wander off to write a simple reply. Anyway, thank you so much for the birthday wish. Much appreciated.  I have been going through other posts on the forum and I must say I am loving it already. Found several pieces of advice on managing the MD which made me wonder... is this thing even curable or will I have to be content with just keeping it under control? |
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Post by Sam on Apr 5, 2019 21:20:19 GMT
It is almost unbelievable how often I have to wander off to write a simple reply. Anyway, thank you so much for the birthday wish. Much appreciated.TY I have been going through other posts on the forum and I must say I am loving it already. Found several pieces of advice on managing the MD which made me wonder... is this thing even curable or will I have to be content with just keeping it under control? I don't think there's such a thing as a "cure" for something like daydreaming. Its a completely natural function that just took over and grew beyond your control. You need to be able to daydream because it can help creativity and problem solving. It can also give you an idea of what you want out of life. Its the maladaptive part of it that isn't good for you. Daydreaming is natural, normal, and necessary. It becomes a problem when it starts interfering with your life, making it so that you can't sleep or socialize, or if it starts eating up hours of your day. So no, as much as the idea of a cure might seem appealing, its not really something that's realistic or doable. What is realistic is cultivating a healthy relationship with your daydreaming. Learning to sit with the unpleasant feelings that come up that either cause your daydreams or occur when you try to resist the urge to daydream might help. You can also investigate to find the root cause of your daydreaming. For many people its a dissatisfaction with their life. Others, I think, started daydreaming as children as an escape from unpleasant things like bullying or abuse. If you can find the root cause and, for lack of a better word, treat it, the urge to daydream so frequently should ease. It probably won't go away completely, as its a habit that's engrained very deeply into your brain, but if the root cause is being addressed (for example, filling your life with things that are more satisfying to you or going to therapy to deal with underlying emotional distress), the urge to daydream may be less intense and easier to ignore. |
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Post by Dimmer on Apr 6, 2019 14:15:14 GMT
Went to bed at like 7 pm just so that I could get a few hours of daydreaming. I used to do this too, I'd go to "bed" as early as possible, lay in as late as possible. Just daydreamed all night. Which confused people around me because how could I possibly be so tired when I slept so long and so well? Couldn't tell them I never actually slept. Welcome to the forum! |
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Post by alvi on Apr 8, 2019 18:44:57 GMT
Welcome to the forum
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Post by justacollegekid on Aug 31, 2019 16:29:43 GMT
Hey everyone. I'm an 18-year-old teenager from South Africa and I'm definitely a Maladaptive daydreamer. It started quite innocently for me ... books. Fantasy books to be exact. I'd read Percy Jackson books and imagine myself in the plot as one of the Gods, saving the world. This was in late primary school. High school started. Life got rough. Started including my daily life into my fictional plots. Went to bed at like 7 pm just so that I could get a few hours of daydreaming. Daydreams began to invade my daily hours. Lost weight. Grades plummeted. That's when I realized that maybe I have a problem. So I looked at the internet and there it was ... maladaptive daydreaming. This was in 2016. Suffice to say, the daydreams got worse. Now I use them to imagine perfect real-life scenarios where I am strong and brave and muscular and all the girls like me or I'm a famous rockstar (sidenote, PinkFloyd's music is a big trigger for me ). I have tried to stop numerous times to no avail. Mindfulness techniques, meditation, always being busy so as to have no time to daydream, you name it I've tried it. The worse part is, I have almost no social life and the only thing that manages to hold my attention is reading fantasy(sidenote 2, The Malazan book of the fallen has the most vivid storylines... disaster for a maladaptive daydreamer). Somehow, I managed to get good marks and get accepted into university for a course I hate. That's life I guess. Anyways, I'm currently doing my first year and would really, really like to go back to life without being in my head all the time. Sure, the daydreaming is always nice but when reality comes back, it gives you that sinking feeling I hate. I do not want this anymore. I want to feel things in real life, not in my daydreams only. I want to have friends. I want to live a normal life. So today, on my 18th birthday (sidenote 3, only my mother has wished me a happy birthday and I bought my own cake), after much procrastination, I decided to get help. Went to a psychologist. She did not know what I was talking about so that was that. Now I am here. Beginning the journey towards reclaiming my life. So yeah that's my intro. Oh and BTW, I am a huge fan of Dimmer SwitchDisco's Youtube videos. Is she by chance a part of this forum? Pretty much what I've gone through in life. Previously you mentioned many things to help with MD. it would be really helpful if you could share what helps u curb daydreaming ( at least to a certain extent). |
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). I have tried to stop numerous times to no avail. Mindfulness techniques, meditation, always being busy so as to have no time to daydream, you name it I've tried it. The worse part is, I have almost no social life and the only thing that manages to hold my attention is reading fantasy(sidenote 2, The Malazan book of the fallen has the most vivid storylines... disaster for a maladaptive daydreamer). Somehow, I managed to get good marks and get accepted into university for a course I hate. That's life I guess. Anyways, I'm currently doing my first year and would really, really like to go back to life without being in my head all the time. Sure, the daydreaming is always nice but when reality comes back, it gives you that sinking feeling I hate. I do not want this anymore. I want to feel things in real life, not in my daydreams only. I want to have friends. I want to live a normal life. So today, on my 18th birthday (sidenote 3, only my mother has wished me a happy birthday and I bought my own cake), after much procrastination, I decided to get help. Went to a psychologist. She did not know what I was talking about so that was that. Now I am here. Beginning the journey towards reclaiming my life. 
