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Post by fickelsburg on May 21, 2019 14:51:50 GMT
Hi this is my first time making a post to this forum. I'd like to share some of my experiences with MD and hope to learn more about MD through other people with MD.
First off I've been daydreaming ever since I could remember.I used to play with this monkey toy that my mother had.The monkey had long arms and I would usually spin the toy by it's arms. But for the most times I would often use beads to enter my fantasies. These beads usually have to be a specific length and the texture of the beads have to be the same. When I was young I used to make loud noises as I walked up and down playing with my beads. I often walk in specific patterns and I'd often find myself maybe making noise or laughing for instance. I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 6 y/o and I've always had difficulty sitting still. I would often be in a conversation with someone and then I'd end up zoning out and just staring at whatever(sometimes other people). I always carry my beads around with me for in case an opportunity arises for me to daydream. My daydreams are usually very action oriented. My daydreams would often take place in like movie/television/even anime worlds and I would create my own characters with their specific backgrounds and appearances and abilities, I would had my characters then fight against other pre-existing characters from like the movie or tv-series. MD has caused me some difficulties,like with socializing and focusing academically. I know I have difficulty watching a movie or reading a book without me wandering of into my different worlds. I have consulted with an mental health professional and they do believe that what I have is MD
So that's my experience I would like to hear of anybody else's experiences if you are willing to share and sorry for any bad grammar English is not my native language.
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Post by Dimmer on May 28, 2019 13:03:12 GMT
I've been MDing as long as I can remember too, also got in the way of early socialization. The beads thing sounds like it's your 'movement', most people pace but the movement can be anything, read the one person had a piece of string they would shake; hand gestures aren't at all unheard of.
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Post by alvi on May 28, 2019 14:58:29 GMT
Welcome to the forum. There is a post on Stimming here as it looks like movement during daydreams is very common so you're definitely not alone in doing this. I know I make hand gestures when I'm deeply engrossed in a dream which must look really strange to anyone that sees me doing this!
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Post by james on Jun 30, 2019 21:58:05 GMT
Due to a recent medical scare my inner world of MD collapsed,due to school bullying 40 years ago I spent many daily hours on MD , often in the themes of safety, security and protection
Had all the symptoms, moving fingers , faraway look , finding quiet time to get my fix,getting frustrated if I got disturbed as lots of typical related anxieties , most of my emotions seemed to be most expressive after songs of films
So much so in fact that the me in me has never developed, not that 12 year old me knew this , he was just looking for a safe place to hide
Been very dangerous for me personally my secret world as it turns out
Wish you the very best and hope you learn and get help
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Post by james on Jun 30, 2019 22:05:39 GMT
Songs or films sorry
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Marcydel
Junior Daydreamer
Enter your message here...
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Post by Marcydel on Jul 14, 2019 6:54:08 GMT
Yep, I can relate. Your story is nearly identical to mine. Growing up, I could barely focus on anything, I would look forward to classes just to daydream during them  . Been trying for a year to quit, but I’m realizing I just don’t want it enough yet. I hope you have a better time recovering. |
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Post by kondiao on Jul 14, 2019 20:47:43 GMT
I too have been daydreaming as long as I can remember. I have a lot of shame attached to being busted acting out my fantasies. When i was in grade school I know my older brothers, sleeping in bunk beds would yell at me to shut up and I would be shocked - not realizing I was re-playing a movie I had seen, making the noises of fighter planes and machine guns firing and charging over the battlements.
I cannot figure out why the stories I saw or read affected my psyche so much more than the "normal" people in my life, as if I believed the fantasies were more real and more important than the miserable life of hard work and poverty and never having enough and the bullying and constant put-downs and insults that were part of growing up in a dysfunctional family with a drunken, angry war veteran for a father.
I knew I was meant for better things than that life and I was mostly doing time there, waiting to be big so I could live a successful life like the heroes in my stories.
Now I am old and broken down and looking back on a life that was mostly dysfunctional failure and I never figured out how to cope with life.
Now i see that the ordinary people who lived their ordinary lives with their petty successes and failures had something and I missed out.
If I can drop this addiction to MD with the help of this forum, especially the experimental therapy that I signed up for, then maybe I will have a chance to at least be present for my last days.
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Post by kris on Jul 24, 2019 5:22:29 GMT
Welcome to the forum. There is a post on Stimming here as it looks like movement during daydreams is very common so you're definitely not alone in doing this. I know I make hand gestures when I'm deeply engrossed in a dream which must look really strange to anyone that sees me doing this! Man.. I can deeply relate to that. I only daydream, when no one is around because my eyes will just move all over the place. Depending on the content of my daydream, I start doing facial expressions like smiling or looking angry. Sometimes I even start laughing out loud because of a joke in my head. so in order to not look like I'm insane, I only allow myself to daydream, when I'm alone or when no one can see me |
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Post by willa on Jul 25, 2019 19:35:33 GMT
Your English is fantastic! I'm learning about stimming in regard to MDD, but I can absolutely relate to talking to someone, getting distracted, then starting to talk about whatever distracted me. I completely forget what I was talking about in the first place. When I do it now, my kids say, "Focus!" before I get too far away. It's pretty funny and it helps to have them remind me where I left off. The first time I realized my daydreaming was visible to others was when I was probably ten or eleven. I was in the car with my older sister and I had my eyes closed. When we got to where we were going, she said, "You had all these weird expressions on your face the whole way here." I can laugh at it now, but I was mortified then! So I keep it hidden as best I can. I will find myself standing still in the middle of a room, stopped in the midst of a task, using my hands, facial expressions, mouthing words, completely unaware of time or what's happening around me. I can get so emotionally invested that I cry. Sometimes it's hard for me to read and I love reading! Today was a difficult one, constantly wandering off and pulling myself out of daydreams. But it's getting better and more healthy!
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Post by kondiao on Jul 29, 2019 5:41:58 GMT
Hi this is my first time making a post to this forum. I'd like to share some of my experiences with MD and hope to learn more about MD through other people with MD. First off I've been daydreaming ever since I could remember.I used to play with this monkey toy that my mother had.The monkey had long arms and I would usually spin the toy by it's arms. But for the most times I would often use beads to enter my fantasies. These beads usually have to be a specific length and the texture of the beads have to be the same. When I was young I used to make loud noises as I walked up and down playing with my beads. I often walk in specific patterns and I'd often find myself maybe making noise or laughing for instance. I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 6 y/o and I've always had difficulty sitting still. I would often be in a conversation with someone and then I'd end up zoning out and just staring at whatever(sometimes other people). I always carry my beads around with me for in case an opportunity arises for me to daydream. My daydreams are usually very action oriented. My daydreams would often take place in like movie/television/even anime worlds and I would create my own characters with their specific backgrounds and appearances and abilities, I would had my characters then fight against other pre-existing characters from like the movie or tv-series. MD has caused me some difficulties,like with socializing and focusing academically. I know I have difficulty watching a movie or reading a book without me wandering of into my different worlds. I have consulted with an mental health professional and they do believe that what I have is MD So that's my experience I would like to hear of anybody else's experiences if you are willing to share and sorry for any bad grammar English is not my native language. |
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Post by kondiao on Jul 29, 2019 6:05:10 GMT
Ficklesburg I am amazed that you go through some much the same things as I have been dealing with all my life.
In public I am pretty much too self-conscious to drift into this MaDD behavior.
When I am alone i pretty much go away into my fantasy world. It is never by conscious choice.
But I think no one else goes to this extreme of acting out strangling some s.o.b. who disrespected me in the past, whether it was yesterday or many years ago.
And I still do sometimes make noises of aggression or swear at my imaginary antagonist. And i am afraid someone will hear me and think I am freaking out on drugs (which i have hardly ever gotten into except for some Rx meds for depression/anxiety or something which always seemed to do more harm then good, so I never stayed with them), or drunk ( which i quit alcohol in 1991) ,
None of the psychiatrists or counsellors that I have seen know anything about this. They dismiss it all silly irrelevance or they want to fit me into a category of normal crazy so they can make me take anti-psychotic drugs.
I am very serious about getting a cure for this MaDD. It is crippling to me. Has prevented me from living much of my life.
B T W your express yourself very well in English. The subtleties of English grammar are details. Nothing to worry about.
Thank you for sharing.
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ade
New Daydreamer
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Post by ade on Aug 2, 2019 21:03:32 GMT
Hello am new to this but I can also relate. I have been going through a similar experience since I was younger. At first I thought it was harmless but it has drastically affected my ability to concentrate on certain activities without having to start imagining a different life.
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Post by bunnylove on Aug 10, 2019 11:46:06 GMT
Hi I just wanted to say your experiences are very similar to my own. When I was younger I used to play with dolls my family just thought it was "imaginative play" but looking back I used to shake the dolls and I think that might be similar to you using the beads as some form of movement. I think it would help me to move into my daydream zone as such. As an adult I now pace back and forth in my home.
It has caused a lot of similar issues to your own, I did not socialize as a child or growing up and suffer a lot with social anxiety now and very much suffered academically for many reasons, I hated school and didn't want to be there and due to this my MD increased.
I think it is fantastic you have consulted a professional and have been open with them about your MD, I think this is very brave and I hope they can help you. Good luck.
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. Been trying for a year to quit, but I’m realizing I just don’t want it enough yet. I hope you have a better time recovering.
