tuffy
New Daydreamer
I haven’t been here because I’m actually trying not to daydream. I read about knowing your triggers.
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Post by tuffy on May 27, 2019 2:18:19 GMT
Hi I’m Tuffy. And I’ve been daydreaming since forever. More than 25yrs. I really want to stop and move on with life. I started therapy recently and I haven’t told my therapist about the day dreaming. I was wondering if anyone else had this problem?
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Post by Sam on Aug 29, 2019 0:29:32 GMT
I still haven’t fully confessed to my therapist. I’m trying hard not to quit therapy all together. I’ve only been in therapy for a few months. I don’t feel any better about the things that I avoid. I guess I was looking more for solutions and I’m not getting any besides ‘Get a better job’ Unless "not having a good job" is the only reason why you're experiencing the things that you're experiencing, I would recommend finding a new therapist. Sometimes you have to go through a few before you find one that actually fits with you.
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Post by kondiao on Aug 29, 2019 9:12:07 GMT
Hi I’m Tuffy. And I’ve been daydreaming since forever. More than 25yrs. I really want to stop and move on with life. I started therapy recently and I haven’t told my therapist about the day dreaming. I was wondering if anyone else had this problem? If "Forever" is 25 years then I have been cursed with this for a few forevers. I hope you get it under control before you get to the age where you have more wasted years to look back on. When I told my good counsellor, paid for by the VA, about my DD, she had never heard of this issues. Pragmatically she asked me if I had been "busted" for doing this when out there in society. Other than that she could not relate to it as a mental condition to require treatment. But IMO you should tell your therapist about it and that you believe you have been wasting your life and that other people have wasted even longer lives. I hope your therapist can help you get it under control and that you can share with the rest of us how you did it. I know the concept of "Being present" is a common advice for DD - and it has long been prescribed, along with Meditation and conscious breathing for many mental problems. As Sam suggests sometimes we go into DD in order to escape unpleasant feelings. When things go bad for us and we feel humiliated, upset, depressed, enraged, et cetera, then the tendency is to go into fantasy to pretend to cope with the bad feelings. So the thing to do is sit with the bad feelings; go through the experience even though it feels terrible - Sam expresses this much better than I do - and though it is not fun - maybe it is better than continuing to waste the next 50 years. It is like you work through the problem now - instead of dreaming about being a person who is successful, in fantasy - and maybe tomorrow you will not be so susceptible to escaping from life. That is what I have been trying. I hope I was not out of line here and offended you. If anything I said is of use to you then fine. If not then please ignore it and do what works for you.
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Post by kondiao on Aug 30, 2019 5:40:30 GMT
Hi, Tuffy. Same here. I've given my therapist some hint that I daydream a lot, but I haven't gone through details yet. I feel embarrassed by the idea of revealing the content of my daydreams to someone while being in their presence. Besides, I talk to real people, including my therapist, in my head a lot. This is something I feel mostly ashamed of revealing. I can relate to this too. A therapist I used to go to - sent by the VA - this was like 2007 - 2008, when i was younger, like 60-ish (19 year-old male inside an old body) she was a great person and I could tell her anything. I had told her about my MaDD and she seemed to think I was the only one in the world with it and also that we could do something about it. But she also did not think it was a horrible affliction. I never got around to telling her that I had DD's about her and me, romantic fantasies, but I guess she knew.
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Post by missl on Aug 31, 2019 5:30:35 GMT
I told many therapists and they have all just patted me on the back and told me it was ok and I shouldn't feel so bad about it and beat myself up about it. Maybe I was nervous so I downplayed it. I tried to explain that I get lost in it and I should be doing other things but I just cant stop. I say one more song or five more minutes and then its and hour later. They suggested setting a timer. SERIOUSLY.
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Post by Sam on Aug 31, 2019 17:34:25 GMT
I told many therapists and they have all just patted me on the back and told me it was ok and I shouldn't feel so bad about it and beat myself up about it. Maybe I was nervous so I downplayed it. I tried to explain that I get lost in it and I should be doing other things but I just cant stop. I say one more song or five more minutes and then its and hour later. They suggested setting a timer. SERIOUSLY. I actually have a thread here on using habit reversal training to cope with MD. I've found that my daydreaming functions a lot like my body focused repetitive behavior, which is what I originally looked into HRT for. So, I created a document that people can make a copy of to use habit reversal training on their MD. What you said about telling yourself that you're only going to do it for a little bit longer, and then it suddenly being way later, really resonates with my experiences with both daydreaming and BFRBs. In fact, that statement seems to be one of the most common complaints I've heard from others about both of them. Therefore, if you want to, I think that trying habit reversal training on your MD could be highly beneficial.
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yasmine
Active Daydreamer
i see mdd as a gift but i want to reduce it cause it starts looking like a curse
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Post by yasmine on Sept 7, 2019 19:09:23 GMT
I still haven’t fully confessed to my therapist. I’m trying hard not to quit therapy all together. I’ve only been in therapy for a few months. I don’t feel any better about the things that I avoid. I guess I was looking more for solutions and I’m not getting any besides ‘Get a better job’ ah that is not working out then? but therapy can still be good for you because you can share whats on your mind. and i thnk you should just open up about mdd. it was difficult for me too and i made a post or two about not being able to open up. but members of this forum encouraged me and finally i did the past session and i just dont understand why i was afraid cause my therapist was very open about it. so sometimes our fair isnt needed but we still listen to it
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