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Post by edbork on Jun 2, 2019 15:51:00 GMT
Hi, I'm contemplating about telling a friend of mine about my MD but every time I play it out in my head (what to say and everything), I keep asking myself, "Why do I want to share it with my friend?" and I end up with nothing.
So I want to ask those that did share their MD to a friend/family member, why did you decide to share your MD to them and what did you expect from telling them (if any)?
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Post by Sam on Jun 2, 2019 17:02:37 GMT
Telling someone can help you have more real life support, if they're understanding about it. For example, if they notice you spacing out, they could then gently remind you to be more present.
Personally, I told my dad because I try to be open about my mental health and telling him about my daydreaming and how it is a problem was an important thing for me to share. It also can sometimes make me daydream less because now that he knows about my daydreaming habits, I'm more reluctant to engage in them while he's around. I pace up and down the stairs while I'm daydreaming, and now that he knows about it he understands that that means I'm daydreaming, not that its just some weird quirk that I have. And having others know that is a little embarrassing to me, so I try to curb that habit while he's around.
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Post by alvi on Jun 4, 2019 17:09:04 GMT
I told my last therapist about it and she saw it as a way to escape and a coping mechanism but I don't think she really understood how much of a issue it is. I think a lot of people don't realise how daydreaming can be excessive and maladaptive. They see it as a fun little past time and something that is easy to stop.
I don't think anything bad will come from telling your friend but I wouldn't hold on to the idea that they will be really understanding of how it is affecting you. I think often as with most problems you have to experience something to truly understand it.
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Post by katie on Jun 4, 2019 17:19:32 GMT
I told my parents about it first my mother taught I could easily give it up and my dad researched it and is really understanding on what it is. I also told my therapist who knew a bit about it. Its good to have the support there for you but yeah I say your friend won't understand it as such.
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Post by fellowmder on Jun 5, 2019 4:25:47 GMT
I don't have much experience of telling anyone in my real life but as you said i have also played a lot inside my head as to how i would tell my really close friend about it. The fleeting thought attached to it is narcissistic in some manner (i tell her after i overcome it, ya so it is like a heroic thing for me if that happens). But there are times in reality that i wished i could open up to someone about it just because it is so stuffy inside. It is really overwhelming. It is such a weird play of emotions that i wanted some sort of advice, some sort of support as others have written.
I guess you can realise why you want to do it through your daydreams itself- there must be a strong thought or emotion when you consider telling it to a friend in your daydream.
I guess this helps
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Post by Wynn on Jun 17, 2019 16:54:13 GMT
I have never told anyone about my MD except for my husband after I found this board. He's known I "like to write" but he doesn't know to what extent MD had on my day to day life. He's dealing with recovery from his own different addiction and I think it mostly went over his head and he hasn't asked me a single question about it other than "you've been doing it this entire time?" I said I've been doing it since I was at least 10, and that's "what all those notebooks in the closet are." There are dozens of spirals and huge 3 ring binders full of MD. I'd hoped by bringing it up with him I could talk to him about it but it doesn't look like that's going to happen unless I push, and.. eh..I was kind of hoping for some support from him but he's got enough on his plate I guess. It kind of pushed me to just dive back in because if he doesn't care... ::shrugs::
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Post by Sam on Jun 17, 2019 18:15:03 GMT
I have never told anyone about my MD except for my husband after I found this board. He's known I "like to write" but he doesn't know to what extent MD had on my day to day life. He's dealing with recovery from his own different addiction and I think it mostly went over his head and he hasn't asked me a single question about it other than "you've been doing it this entire time?" I said I've been doing it since I was at least 10, and that's "what all those notebooks in the closet are." There are dozens of spirals and huge 3 ring binders full of MD. I'd hoped by bringing it up with him I could talk to him about it but it doesn't look like that's going to happen unless I push, and.. eh..I was kind of hoping for some support from him but he's got enough on his plate I guess. It kind of pushed me to just dive back in because if he doesn't care... ::shrugs:: It sucks that you didn't get the support that you were hoping for from your husband. Could you perhaps tell a close friend, maybe one who knows about your husbands addiction, so that they could maybe act as a stand in for the support you were hoping to get out of your husband until he's in a place where he's better able to support you? Even talking to a therapist might help. |
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Post by Wynn on Jun 17, 2019 18:57:25 GMT
I have never told anyone about my MD except for my husband after I found this board. He's known I "like to write" but he doesn't know to what extent MD had on my day to day life. He's dealing with recovery from his own different addiction and I think it mostly went over his head and he hasn't asked me a single question about it other than "you've been doing it this entire time?" I said I've been doing it since I was at least 10, and that's "what all those notebooks in the closet are." There are dozens of spirals and huge 3 ring binders full of MD. I'd hoped by bringing it up with him I could talk to him about it but it doesn't look like that's going to happen unless I push, and.. eh..I was kind of hoping for some support from him but he's got enough on his plate I guess. It kind of pushed me to just dive back in because if he doesn't care... ::shrugs:: It sucks that you didn't get the support that you were hoping for from your husband. Could you perhaps tell a close friend, maybe one who knows about your husbands addiction, so that they could maybe act as a stand in for the support you were hoping to get out of your husband until he's in a place where he's better able to support you? Even talking to a therapist might help. I have a ptsd support group I am part of but I'm afraid to bring it up and look like a weirdo. On the outside I look like I've got my stuff together. "How do you cope?" "Oh, I just go away in my head for hours at a time. Easy peasy!" I'm scared they'll look down on me, judge me and won't take me seriously when I chime in how to manage our ptsd symptoms. I can look into another therapist, I see a psychiatrist this week for my reliance on ambien to sleep for 10+ years, I'd like to taper off. I can bring it up with her and see what happens! |
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Post by Wynn on Jun 17, 2019 19:09:22 GMT
I forgot to add, I told him in hopes that like Sam said, he'd notice if I was daydreaming and help me to come back and be present as a means to help repair what his addiction helped break. He's also my biggest PTSD trigger. I've done all the research on his addiction and steered him toward his recovery, I was hoping for a little reciprocation. He's not there yet.
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Post by mohisham on Aug 29, 2019 7:08:15 GMT
Hi, I'm contemplating about telling a friend of mine about my MD but every time I play it out in my head (what to say and everything), I keep asking myself, "Why do I want to share it with my friend?" and I end up with nothing. So I want to ask those that did share their MD to a friend/family member, why did you decide to share your MD to them and what did you expect from telling them (if any)? |
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Post by ☆Princess☆ on Aug 29, 2019 17:46:28 GMT
I have tried to open up about my MD to my boyfriend and that didn't go so well. He doesn't believe in it. He says everyone day dreams and I tried to explain how it's diffrent and he didn't believe it. I am going to see a therapist soon for a diffrent reason but I am going to tell them about my MD. Hoping it'll help me a bit and maybe figure out why I do it or how to maybe control it better. I want to be open about it but I'm  how to go about it when not many know about it or believe it's a problem |
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Post by thedreammademecry on Aug 29, 2019 19:46:24 GMT
I didn't exactly open up but I once said to one of my online friends that I like to daydream a lot(I didn't know of md then) and he never said anything after he probably just thought i was exaggerating but it's okay.
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Marcydel
Junior Daydreamer
Enter your message here...
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Post by Marcydel on Aug 29, 2019 22:26:02 GMT
I told my parents and my therapist. I would recommend telling only a few people, but that’s just me. None of my friends know about it.
As long as I can remember I’ve used fantasy as a crutch and kept my MD to myself out of embarrassment. I realize how tired I was of having to constantly make up excuses as to why I make repetitive movements, why I listen to music the way I do, why I talk to myself and make random facial expressions, why I wasn’t paying attention, why I don’t seem to care about much, etc. So I thought that just being plain honest for once, regardless of how ridiculous or dramatic I may sound, would lift something off of my chest.
My MD was my whole world, perception, memories, and emotions, all in one basket, so I felt it deserved to be talked about.
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biancaj
New Daydreamer
english is not my first language, please forgive my mistakes
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Post by biancaj on Sept 18, 2019 23:25:32 GMT
I told my last therapist about it and she saw it as a way to escape and a coping mechanism but I don't think she really understood how much of a issue it is. I think a lot of people don't realise how daydreaming can be excessive and maladaptive. They see it as a fun little past time and something that is easy to stop. I don't think anything bad will come from telling your friend but I wouldn't hold on to the idea that they will be really understanding of how it is affecting you. I think often as with most problems you have to experience something to truly understand it. yes I think they don't realize that. Friends and family usually target me as lazy, when I can't get things done, and they would kinda justify my behavior "she is weird, but she's fun", like I'm some sort a half person who doesn't need to pay bills |
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how to go about it when not many know about it or believe it's a problem 