This forum is really cool

Hey there! This is really cool. I don't really know how to describe seeing other daydreamers on here other than really cool. Honestly, I've always had a really active imagination, and like I've read from other people, I thought I would grow out of it. But by the time high school came around I knew something wasn't right. I even got to the point where I asked my closest friend if I sounded crazy or not, and she said "Oh I daydream too." But I never really knew how to explain the fullness of my situation. So I don't think she understood. 

Music is a huge trigger for me and I pace, make facial expressions, and mouth words. Sometimes when I listen to music I have to wander around my house, pretend I'm in the kitchen for a reason if someone walks in. Like "Oh I'm sorry I was just examining the cupboards, is that oak? Fascinating."

I googled my symptoms a few years ago and found out about the studies going on about MD and like most people, self diagnosed. More recently now that it's being acknowledged by professionals and media companies (Buzz feed even had an article on it) I started to feel more accepted. Like maybe I wasn't crazy after all.

I've had times where I've wanted to get rid of it all together, and struggled a lot to decide if that would be good for me. At the same time I also utilize it for creative purposes so I never really knew how I felt about having it, whether it was a big pro or con. Although it does affect my daily life in a negative way sometimes I feel like I need it, not only to help with stress, but to use my stories and characters in a way that would be beneficial. 

I love my characters. But what I struggle with is the fact my characters can't love me back. They aren't real and I know that. So I have to ask myself if a love that doesn't exist is healthy and promptly remind myself that it's probably not. 

I don't know this has always just been a part of my life, so if I didn't have my characters and stories I guess I wonder what I would do with myself. It's not the healthiest state of mind, but I guess as of right now it's all I know. I can't stand to be alone so I gave myself some people to talk to. 

I guess in coming to this forum I just am really glad to see other people like me. I've never really talked about it with anyone, other than with my one friend, as mentioned. It's nice to see people who get it. Even if I don't end up being super active on this site, it's nice to know it's here. 

Anyway, I'm done rambling now. Thanks if you read all this. It's nice to get my story off my chest.