Post by Drewsifer on Jul 1, 2019 7:42:25 GMT
Hi, So I’ve found out about this this about 3 hours ago. The Maladaptive Daydreaming and I'm not 100% sure that I have it. But I find that it covers near all the things I've experienced in myself. Im not the best with explanations and words but, I want to put my best feelings with this. To see if anyone feels similarly.
I can't remember when I started, but I do know that whenever it was that i’ve definitely not outgrown it. Im recently 19, and I've kinda have physical reactions in relation to stories, characters, to the point where where Id be watching an movie where someone is about to be in the position of public humiliation and have to get up and run away because I cant deal with it (doesn't matter if I am not invested and its background but also the need to just cringe away is even stronger when I am invested to the characters), or reading something suspenseful and imagine a side version of the character with something else happening and walk around and pace for a couple seconds before i realize that Im in the middle off a room full of people and probably shouldn't be effected or disconnect in front of everyone. Unfortunately it had gotten me a lot of weird looks and attention from my family and friends. Wondering why and how I get really amped up for something that isn't real.
Sometimes it has other opposite triggers like, when I listen to music and pace I get too caught up in some sort of action scene ive asserted myself or characters into. With lots of little details and then, make weird punchy noises (in my head but end up coming out vocally as well), run around for no reason, and inevitably sometimes fall/ kick/ or drop something that may be loud and alerting.
Ive come to realize that when I assert myself into this fantasy, im imagining someone else who is witty, independent, and inevitably stands outside the realm of jobs, money, food and other responsibilities (sometimes they are the generic badboy character that had something happen to them to or by their parents causing them to be more independent for the family). Just opposed to me who is an introvert, dependent, and has yet to get a drivers permit.
Some of the signs for having this is anxiety, signs of adhd and ocd, triggers in sounds and memories. All of which, and more that I see myself having. Where I get anxious around people and dont have that many friends myself, also when i was in school I get anxiety from grades. I also get this nervous tick of having to move my hands and fidget a lot (which might be adhd). Ive overheard my mom, talking to her boyfriend about how im depressed and that the only way really dealt with it was to insert myself into these self made stories and by basic sleep all day awake all night deal. Which I've been trying to pull myself out of. Tho don't know if this this an underlying cause or that I'm just overthinking the whole thing, seeing as I haven’t really spoken with any therapists or doctors on anything like that.
But recently I've been trying to pull away from these bad habits by limiting my music. Im also hoping to get myself a running route or a gym, so that if i need to pace i wont and instead run, hopefully thatll clear that habit. As that was the main factors that just wastes a bunch of time that can be spent doing things that are embarrassing. Although I'm not in 100 disconnect I have found myself spacing out of conversations, tunnel vision when I'm trying to focus like when learning to drive (also even
about that gives me anxiety), I can be reading something or drawn to a story on the tv and completely zone out the world around me.
I don't know, I mean when I get too immersed quickly. But at the same time it isn't too dark on my psyche. They act more imaginations in my head, rather than a day dream as it isn't exactly clear but I can see the outline. And I have had conflicting emotions like the need to draw, write, or read but not having the ambition that I used to as a kid. (Although that may be depression). Let me know what you guys think tho. Sorry its so long.
I can't remember when I started, but I do know that whenever it was that i’ve definitely not outgrown it. Im recently 19, and I've kinda have physical reactions in relation to stories, characters, to the point where where Id be watching an movie where someone is about to be in the position of public humiliation and have to get up and run away because I cant deal with it (doesn't matter if I am not invested and its background but also the need to just cringe away is even stronger when I am invested to the characters), or reading something suspenseful and imagine a side version of the character with something else happening and walk around and pace for a couple seconds before i realize that Im in the middle off a room full of people and probably shouldn't be effected or disconnect in front of everyone. Unfortunately it had gotten me a lot of weird looks and attention from my family and friends. Wondering why and how I get really amped up for something that isn't real.
Sometimes it has other opposite triggers like, when I listen to music and pace I get too caught up in some sort of action scene ive asserted myself or characters into. With lots of little details and then, make weird punchy noises (in my head but end up coming out vocally as well), run around for no reason, and inevitably sometimes fall/ kick/ or drop something that may be loud and alerting.
Ive come to realize that when I assert myself into this fantasy, im imagining someone else who is witty, independent, and inevitably stands outside the realm of jobs, money, food and other responsibilities (sometimes they are the generic badboy character that had something happen to them to or by their parents causing them to be more independent for the family). Just opposed to me who is an introvert, dependent, and has yet to get a drivers permit.
Some of the signs for having this is anxiety, signs of adhd and ocd, triggers in sounds and memories. All of which, and more that I see myself having. Where I get anxious around people and dont have that many friends myself, also when i was in school I get anxiety from grades. I also get this nervous tick of having to move my hands and fidget a lot (which might be adhd). Ive overheard my mom, talking to her boyfriend about how im depressed and that the only way really dealt with it was to insert myself into these self made stories and by basic sleep all day awake all night deal. Which I've been trying to pull myself out of. Tho don't know if this this an underlying cause or that I'm just overthinking the whole thing, seeing as I haven’t really spoken with any therapists or doctors on anything like that.
But recently I've been trying to pull away from these bad habits by limiting my music. Im also hoping to get myself a running route or a gym, so that if i need to pace i wont and instead run, hopefully thatll clear that habit. As that was the main factors that just wastes a bunch of time that can be spent doing things that are embarrassing. Although I'm not in 100 disconnect I have found myself spacing out of conversations, tunnel vision when I'm trying to focus like when learning to drive (also even
about that gives me anxiety), I can be reading something or drawn to a story on the tv and completely zone out the world around me. I don't know, I mean when I get too immersed quickly. But at the same time it isn't too dark on my psyche. They act more imaginations in my head, rather than a day dream as it isn't exactly clear but I can see the outline. And I have had conflicting emotions like the need to draw, write, or read but not having the ambition that I used to as a kid. (Although that may be depression). Let me know what you guys think tho. Sorry its so long.
