Post by willa on Jul 23, 2019 19:11:11 GMT
Hello, everyone -- I really need to be connected to people who get it. I discovered MDD a while ago, just by googling "daydreams too much" ... I was so flipping happy to find out it wasn't just me. But I still told no one until about a year ago -- two of my best friends, whom I've known since high school. I'm 46 and have been daydreaming like this since about 9 or 10 years-old ... so, a really long time. My friends were kind of on the team of, "Um, what's the big deal? You wouldn't be you without creating characters." (I'm a writer.) I wrote about it once and someone said I was being a little hard on myself for just day dreaming. I was both disappointed and angry, because it is a big deal ... it can be exhausting and depressing and makes my ADD go into high gear. To not be understood is a lonely place, as I'm sure you all know.
So ... I'm here because I'm trying to get it under control. I've done a lot of reading, came up with a plan, even wrote out a contract with time frames to daydream, ways to get myself out in the world and doing things, and I had a friend act as a witness, and we signed it.
I said: Daydreaming only after 9:00 pm. Picked three things outside the house to get involved in (yoga, book club, French language group). Started taking time in the morning to journal and meditate. But plan or no plan, it is HARD. Really hard. I picked a mantra to say whenever I started to daydream, something non-judgmental, to help acknowledge the urge but let it go. Sometimes it goes really well ... others I'm saying the mantra in my head every three seconds, fighting it. Feelings have been coming up for me, big time, which is good ... but still not my favorite. Ha. It is an addiction and I'm treating it like one, with some hope thrown in.
I quickly realized that going all day without daydreaming is not feasible all the time. Like today. Overwhelmed and feeling like I was falling apart, I let myself day dream for about ten minutes (fifteen?) and then stopped. I won't beat myself up for it. This is a defense mechanism for me that has been around for over three decades. I need it, but in healthy doses. I hope this isn't too long! :D Thank you for this forum and I hope I can be of help to others, too!
So ... I'm here because I'm trying to get it under control. I've done a lot of reading, came up with a plan, even wrote out a contract with time frames to daydream, ways to get myself out in the world and doing things, and I had a friend act as a witness, and we signed it.
I said: Daydreaming only after 9:00 pm. Picked three things outside the house to get involved in (yoga, book club, French language group). Started taking time in the morning to journal and meditate. But plan or no plan, it is HARD. Really hard. I picked a mantra to say whenever I started to daydream, something non-judgmental, to help acknowledge the urge but let it go. Sometimes it goes really well ... others I'm saying the mantra in my head every three seconds, fighting it. Feelings have been coming up for me, big time, which is good ... but still not my favorite. Ha. It is an addiction and I'm treating it like one, with some hope thrown in.
I quickly realized that going all day without daydreaming is not feasible all the time. Like today. Overwhelmed and feeling like I was falling apart, I let myself day dream for about ten minutes (fifteen?) and then stopped. I won't beat myself up for it. This is a defense mechanism for me that has been around for over three decades. I need it, but in healthy doses. I hope this isn't too long! :D Thank you for this forum and I hope I can be of help to others, too!
