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Post by rpashi on Aug 15, 2019 23:00:07 GMT
Hi, I just found out about this forum now, I am really relieved right now to see I'm not the only one with something like this. I'm going into university in 2020, with the application process still starting from this year, and I got a really big reality check when my maths a level result came out. It's honestly really frustrating since I feel like I wasted an entire year of my life just sitting around. I isolated myself even more for absolutely no reason. It has not been that long, and my condition is not even that developed yet, but it just feels strange to talk about it in real life. I've been an avid kpop fan since 2014 and I always enjoyed watching music videos and dances. Before there used to be 2 of my closest friends who were fans as well, but they left to go to another school last september. They still live in the same city, but I hesitated to contact them more and more since they already seemed to have found new friends. In that same time, I have people that I can talk to, but no one close since everybody else already has close knit groups by now. I found solace in kpop instead, and I became even more addicted to it this past year. I know this sounds really childish, but at first I liked shipping people together, and it's like I lived my life through my imagined perceptions of their lives. I guess I just really wanted to know what it is like to have a boyfriend since my own romantic life is completely non existent. I checked on instagram everyday for "clues" or whatever that my two kpop people were dating, which, I know, is really messed up. Then I imagined them going on dates, or I just sat their looking at those pictures for hours and hours. Then I also have this thing where I imagine myself in a kpop group being the star singer and rapper. It just goes on for days and days where I imagine myself performing, despite the fact that in real life I'm so shy that people barely hear me talk, let alone sing. My main interest is still academic, it's always been like that since primary school, but I just wanted to escape and experience what it was like to be the kpop idol that receives praise for how they look or dance or sing. I also felt so so lonely, I just needed to have something else to look forward to in my life. So yeah, that's my story, thank you for creating this forum
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Post by Sam on Aug 16, 2019 3:53:09 GMT
Welcome to the forum!
A lot of us feel very isolated, but interacting with others here on this forum can be a big help. I know that, personally, talking to people here on the forum has helped me build my confidence about talking to people in real life.
Are your math test results going to prevent you from going to the university you want to? If so, is there any way that you could retake them or do something to improve your score?
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Post by rpashi on Aug 16, 2019 6:43:10 GMT
I can actually retake them next year, but it'll just be a bit embarrassing for me. I need a certain grade for entering university for my chosen course, so I don't really have any choice. I guess I'll just have to work extra efficiently from now on. P.s.-Thank you for replying, btw, really appreciated
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Post by bee on Aug 16, 2019 9:07:17 GMT
Hi rpashi,
nice to meet you!
It’s a long time ago, but as far as I can remember I had similar feelings the year before I went to university. Everybody around me seemed so engaged in their life, finding new friends, planning ahead. Whenever I heard something about somebody (this was in pre-internet times) I always thought “oh no, xy has done xy – and what am I doing?” I felt so… inadequate (?), so ill prepared for everything.
If I could write one of those “letters to younger self” I would write: “Don’t worry so much, don’t fuss so much about other people. There is a whole new life ahead in university, new people, new ideas, new everything. Just do your stuff, keep your head down and everything will be ok.”
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Post by alvi on Aug 18, 2019 20:25:25 GMT
Welcome to the forum
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Post by Dimmer on Aug 25, 2019 14:12:24 GMT
Welcome!
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