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Post by fellowmder on Sept 6, 2019 13:11:02 GMT
So, at last I have entered my dream uni but things aren't well that great. the first two weeks had too many ups and downs to like trace and write over here. I can tell you there were a lot of nights when I uselessly or without reason cried, just as it were doing mg vacations. Probably, had a lot of free time for my mind to heedlessly wander. I wanted to specifically talk about my daydreaming coming back. I won't say in the past two weeks that I were going to uni I didn't daydream but those were only when I were lonely, had no work, was too ideal to do so. But this week is different when there is a lot of work. I return back at around 12:30 at night and then afterwards I need to work(my building closes at 12 and i feel Paranoia going home alone afterwards) at home. But the first thing this entire week I thought was how I could daydream about me suffering from daydream, like talking to other person and almost getting into that old habit of hitting the bed and playing scenes where others sympathize with me and all of that. If anyone has read my posts before I break under pressure but probably that is not the case. I like work now, I love what I am doing, even if there are crazy hell lot of failures that accompany me. But it's not that pathetic as it used to be at highschool. I just don't understand what must have prompted me to daydream like that. I fear sometimes that I will get back to that compulsive habit of daydreaming, will not be able to sleep. One more thing, I have watched a bit of drama, like not too much but yes like a total of probably 3 hrs in the entire week and there is listening to music blankly. Will they be a reason for my urge to daydream?
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Post by juliana on Sept 6, 2019 15:12:05 GMT
Hi. Im new here. But the question that you asked is what I often ask myself. Why do I do it? I am clearly trying to escape something with daydreaming,but what exactly? I have tried to identify a pattern - do I only daydream when Im  ? Is it when I have too much free time? But so far, nothing. Ive never been addicted to anything, but I guess this is how addiction must feel like. There are days I literally catch myself saying, ok Ill daydream for just 5 minutes or just a little bit more then Ill stop. Its insane and I hate that I struggle to control it. I think for sometime I didn't really wanted it to stop. I liked it too much. But now I am determined to put an end to this. And for me starts with understanding why I do it and what do I get from it - Im far from having my answers. But won't stop until I do. |
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Marcydel
Junior Daydreamer
Enter your message here...
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Post by Marcydel on Sept 6, 2019 23:02:57 GMT
I believe one powerful way MD outsmarts us is that it makes us literally forget and dismiss what we should really be doing in the real world, so we don’t even consider trying to do it in real life because we already have it in our DDs. Like, daydreaming about social interaction could numb the need to do it in real life because we’re already feeling good about it in our fantasies. It’s hard to keep the habit from returning when our own minds are cloaking stuff from us.
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Post by fellowmder on Sept 12, 2019 13:13:54 GMT
I just wanted to add this. Thought it will best suit this space. As I wrote about my habit returning back, there are these symptoms like things, you know how when a disease is gonna affect you. I know it doesn't make sense but I fear that things are going to repeat and my high school nightmares are going to repeat in my college years. First thing, I am not serious enough about my studies and exercises given. It is turning to a back log, just how it were back in school
Second, just like two years ago I ain't good enough. But I still had this strong desire to change myself for good. But now, like since a few days that spirit has exhausted. I am the slowest when I do my drawing exercises. It kills me on the inside sometimes when I think that everything is going to repeat and become a vicious cycle
Third, I don't work after my studio. Like I absent mindedly do things and then get nothing done, wasting time. Then I can't even sleep because my mind is at a constant war- should I daydream or should I work or that I shouldn't do this. I have no idea what is happening with me. Since last two days I am also having snacks every night. I am lazy and I am always ranting
I understand I am talking shit. But this all is a bit frightening when I wake up on the next day- no work done, nothing productive completed, thoughts of bunking class.
If anyone of you understand and has probably read my earlier post and know somehow managing my cluttered self please write a suggestion
Thanks for reading
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Post by katie on Sept 12, 2019 15:22:37 GMT
I just wanted to add this. Thought it will best suit this space. As I wrote about my habit returning back, there are these symptoms like things, you know how when a disease is gonna affect you. I know it doesn't make sense but I fear that things are going to repeat and my high school nightmares are going to repeat in my college years. First thing, I am not serious enough about my studies and exercises given. It is turning to a back log, just how it were back in school Second, just like two years ago I ain't good enough. But I still had this strong desire to change myself for good. But now, like since a few days that spirit has exhausted. I am the slowest when I do my drawing exercises. It kills me on the inside sometimes when I think that everything is going to repeat and become a vicious cycle Third, I don't work after my studio. Like I absent mindedly do things and then get nothing done, wasting time. Then I can't even sleep because my mind is at a constant war- should I daydream or should I work or that I shouldn't do this. I have no idea what is happening with me. Since last two days I am also having snacks every night. I am lazy and I am always ranting I understand I am talking shit. But this all is a bit frightening when I wake up on the next day- no work done, nothing productive completed, thoughts of bunking class. If anyone of you understand and has probably read my earlier post and know somehow managing my cluttered self please write a suggestion Thanks for reading I have just read you 2 posts there now are you putting yourself under pressure to stop completely? There was talk about this before here it makes you want to daydream even more. Are you living on your own or with someone I found studying with people and doing my work in th room beside someone help me focus other wise I would be daydreaming and if I couldn't concentrate I would go for a walk and relax my mind. Plus if you read my thread CBT and maladaptive daydreaming there are a good few pointers in that I asked my therapist who knew about maladaptive daydreaming how to go about controlling it. |
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Post by fellowmder on Sept 12, 2019 17:44:03 GMT
I just wanted to add this. Thought it will best suit this space. As I wrote about my habit returning back, there are these symptoms like things, you know how when a disease is gonna affect you. I know it doesn't make sense but I fear that things are going to repeat and my high school nightmares are going to repeat in my college years. First thing, I am not serious enough about my studies and exercises given. It is turning to a back log, just how it were back in school Second, just like two years ago I ain't good enough. But I still had this strong desire to change myself for good. But now, like since a few days that spirit has exhausted. I am the slowest when I do my drawing exercises. It kills me on the inside sometimes when I think that everything is going to repeat and become a vicious cycle Third, I don't work after my studio. Like I absent mindedly do things and then get nothing done, wasting time. Then I can't even sleep because my mind is at a constant war- should I daydream or should I work or that I shouldn't do this. I have no idea what is happening with me. Since last two days I am also having snacks every night. I am lazy and I am always ranting I understand I am talking shit. But this all is a bit frightening when I wake up on the next day- no work done, nothing productive completed, thoughts of bunking class. If anyone of you understand and has probably read my earlier post and know somehow managing my cluttered self please write a suggestion Thanks for reading I have just read you 2 posts there now are you putting yourself under pressure to stop completely? There was talk about this before here it makes you want to daydream even more. Are you living on your own or with someone I found studying with people and doing my work in th room beside someone help me focus other wise I would be daydreaming and if I couldn't concentrate I would go for a walk and relax my mind. Plus if you read my thread CBT and maladaptive daydreaming there are a good few pointers in that I asked my therapist who knew about maladaptive daydreaming how to go about controlling it. Thanks kathy. I'll check it and post over there about my thoughts. I do live in a paying guest house and am sharing it with a girl.about talking of controlling my daydreams, I don't have much to daydream about. But I let myself wander off a bit when I am totally alone- washroom (like even in college), when I am walking from college to home and around. I don't like totally not daydream but I am trying to put off daydreaming at night cause it always causes problems for me. I can get nothing done. Thanks for reading |
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Post by fellowmder on Sept 12, 2019 17:49:29 GMT
Okay one more addition. It's almost like taking suggestion post really for me. There are these stupid times when I just am suddenly too after a good laugh. It's like all of that will go away from me and I'll be left with nothing the moment I am alone. I have written before how in vacation I cried a lot for no reason. There are just these certain very very sudden moments when I am . Like it switches. Now to be a bit clear, in my daydreams I have acted as a victim of many psychological disorders, like a lot. Could it be that I am just victimizing myself in real life as well, like doing it upon me intentionally. It surely makes no sense but have you ever tried victimizing yourself in real life, negative things you did in daydreams bringing them out in real life? Am I doing that? |
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Post by Sam on Sept 15, 2019 4:36:56 GMT
Okay one more addition. It's almost like taking suggestion post really for me. There are these stupid times when I just am suddenly too sad after a good laugh. It's like all of that will go away from me and I'll be left with nothing the moment I am alone. I have written before how in vacation I cried a lot for no reason. There are just these certain very very sudden moments when I am sad. Like it switches. Now to be a bit clear, in my daydreams I have acted as a victim of many psychological disorders, like a lot. Could it be that I am just victimizing myself in real life as well, like doing it upon me intentionally. It surely makes no sense but have you ever tried victimizing yourself in real life, negative things you did in daydreams bringing them out in real life? Am I doing that? I don't know how much this applies to your situation, but when I was a kid, I used to laugh hysterically for literally hours and then once I'd calmed down I would become irrationally sad and withdrawn. We didn't realize it at the time, but it was most likely from my developing bipolar disorder. I still experience something similar. I get hypomanic in social situations and the second I'm no longer around people I crash into a depressive episode. I guess my point is have you considered the potentiality of it being from some kind of mood disorder? |
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biancaj
New Daydreamer
english is not my first language, please forgive my mistakes
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Post by biancaj on Sept 18, 2019 16:25:30 GMT
I just wanted to add this. Thought it will best suit this space. As I wrote about my habit returning back, there are these symptoms like things, you know how when a disease is gonna affect you. I know it doesn't make sense but I fear that things are going to repeat and my high school nightmares are going to repeat in my college years. First thing, I am not serious enough about my studies and exercises given. It is turning to a back log, just how it were back in school Second, just like two years ago I ain't good enough. But I still had this strong desire to change myself for good. But now, like since a few days that spirit has exhausted. I am the slowest when I do my drawing exercises. It kills me on the inside sometimes when I think that everything is going to repeat and become a vicious cycle Third, I don't work after my studio. Like I absent mindedly do things and then get nothing done, wasting time. Then I can't even sleep because my mind is at a constant war- should I daydream or should I work or that I shouldn't do this. I have no idea what is happening with me. Since last two days I am also having snacks every night. I am lazy and I am always ranting I understand I am talking shit. But this all is a bit frightening when I wake up on the next day- no work done, nothing productive completed, thoughts of bunking class. If anyone of you understand and has probably read my earlier post and know somehow managing my cluttered self please write a suggestion Thanks for reading I have just read you 2 posts there now are you putting yourself under pressure to stop completely? There was talk about this before here it makes you want to daydream even more. Are you living on your own or with someone I found studying with people and doing my work in th room beside someone help me focus other wise I would be daydreaming and if I couldn't concentrate I would go for a walk and relax my mind. Plus if you read my thread CBT and maladaptive daydreaming there are a good few pointers in that I asked my therapist who knew about maladaptive daydreaming how to go about controlling it. Hi katie, I can't find your post about CBT and maladaptive daydreaming (because I don't understand what CBT stands for probably), would you please give me the link? I have never talked to my therapist about this problem of mine, so it wuold be very interesting knowing a therapist point of view. thank you |
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biancaj
New Daydreamer
english is not my first language, please forgive my mistakes
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Post by biancaj on Sept 18, 2019 17:00:10 GMT
Okay one more addition. It's almost like taking suggestion post really for me. There are these stupid times when I just am suddenly too after a good laugh. It's like all of that will go away from me and I'll be left with nothing the moment I am alone. I have written before how in vacation I cried a lot for no reason. There are just these certain very very sudden moments when I am . Like it switches. Now to be a bit clear, in my daydreams I have acted as a victim of many psychological disorders, like a lot. Could it be that I am just victimizing myself in real life as well, like doing it upon me intentionally. It surely makes no sense but have you ever tried victimizing yourself in real life, negative things you did in daydreams bringing them out in real life? Am I doing that? I myself sure did that! Victimizing myself was my thing in the evening, triggered by poor lighting and a swing. It was under a beautiful but melanchonic pine tree, so I think that its scent and the swing's jarring creaking noise, made their part in the process. All of a sudden, I got rid of the swing, consciously refused to pass near that tree, and, most important thing, I bought the brightest and most powerful light bulb I could find for my room. the walls were already painted in light pink, so the light in that room at night was bright and kinda happy. I have a cat and that helped me a lot. But if you are in college maybe you can't have a pet, walking at night with a dog could help with your midnight walk fear. To me, cinnamon scient helps to switch from a MDD induced sadness to a more conforting MDD induced homely feeling. Well this is weird but I find it helpful clapping my hands and jump. To be honest I find crying extremely helpful too: cry decongest me and accelerate the process of passing to a new, happier dream (maybe because it pays pledge to the goddess of sadness) I really really hope you could get over the victimizing yourself part of MDD, because that's it's the worst ever. I unsuccessful tried to kill myself in the past, for reasons, but also because I couldn't overcome saddness, on the contrary, I was actually increasing it with that kind of daydreaming. My life today is absolutely a mess, my DD is massive, I can't get rid of it, but I force myself into uplifting DD, sometimes my dreams are a little violent, but I make a point to fight to save someone else, never myself, because I don't want be the victim amymore I want to add something else, but Idk if makes sense. Some of my saddest MDD were about me being in an abusive relationship. Guess what, the only relationship I had was abusive. I was perfectly aware of that, but still I was so stubborn that I refused to end it, and I refused to talk about it to enyone, I didn't tell my therapist that my relationship was abusive, even if I knew. Now I'm  that it may have been possible that I had already a habit of being abused in my DD, that I kinda thought that I could do it in real life??? I never told anyone about my MDD, and I never told anyone about that relationship. I'm just that those are related... Rarely this thing happened for uplifting MDD... Someone here could help me untangle my thoughts? |
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Post by katie on Sept 19, 2019 16:43:55 GMT
I have just read you 2 posts there now are you putting yourself under pressure to stop completely? There was talk about this before here it makes you want to daydream even more. Are you living on your own or with someone I found studying with people and doing my work in th room beside someone help me focus other wise I would be daydreaming and if I couldn't concentrate I would go for a walk and relax my mind. Plus if you read my thread CBT and maladaptive daydreaming there are a good few pointers in that I asked my therapist who knew about maladaptive daydreaming how to go about controlling it. Hi katie, I can't find your post about CBT and maladaptive daydreaming (because I don't understand what CBT stands for probably), would you please give me the link? I have never talked to my therapist about this problem of mine, so it wuold be very interesting knowing a therapist point of view. thank you Hi biancaj here is the link if you have any questions let me know. daydreaminblue.freeforums.net/thread/698/cbt-maladaptive-daydreamingI am going to my psychotherapist tomorrow so see what he says about it he researched maladaptive daydreaming about a year ago said he was going to look through it again don't know if the things we go through for my MD and other issues I have will will be of help here but will see what he says about it. Everyone :) |
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biancaj
New Daydreamer
english is not my first language, please forgive my mistakes
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Post by biancaj on Sept 20, 2019 9:30:36 GMT
Hi katie, I can't find your post about CBT and maladaptive daydreaming (because I don't understand what CBT stands for probably), would you please give me the link? I have never talked to my therapist about this problem of mine, so it wuold be very interesting knowing a therapist point of view. thank you Hi biancaj here is the link if you have any questions let me know. daydreaminblue.freeforums.net/thread/698/cbt-maladaptive-daydreamingI am going to my psychotherapist tomorrow so see what he says about it he researched maladaptive daydreaming about a year ago said he was going to look through it again don't know if the things we go through for my MD and other issues I have will will be of help here but will see what he says about it. Everyone  Thank You dear Kathy! |
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? Is it when I have too much free time? But so far, nothing. 
that it may have been possible that I had already a habit of being abused in my DD, that I kinda thought that I could do it in real life??? I never told anyone about my MDD, and I never told anyone about that relationship. I'm just 