Post by helgy on Sept 22, 2019 18:12:17 GMT
I have had it –I think- since teenagehood. I graduated in literature, and I think my university years supported and covered my disease well, because I could use it many times during my studies in creative writing courses successfully, and also I was confirmed that all poets and writers obviously acted the same way. Which is not impossible, anyway.
I registered here, because it has got worse lately. Worse means, that I began to spend more than acceptable hours a day in dreams, I has accustic responses and also rythmical moves. In my teen years it used to be walking around in my room, now it was stroking my shoulder – not in an erotic way, rather like a support, or just for the rhytm.
I have had a soap oper in my head for 20 years now. Characters appear and disappear, but the main caharacters are the same. My main characters are not me.
I think, sometimes they are characters thar I want (ed) to be, should be, should have been, or could have been with, but never my IRL self.
I am a woman, and my main character is a man, sometimes involved in affairs with a female character like me, but never exactly me.
My MDD I think embraces the concept of „detailed” story. Though I am able to change even the decade where it happens, if I want (and I enjoy it), I also am aware of the tiniest bits of my character, and I never act wrong. I know his soul, his body, his mind, his favourite colours, meals, drinks, his anxieties, his parents, his hobbies, his secret love letters, his childhood memories, his poems, his fears, his medicines, and by heart I know his appartment. EVERYTHING. For me, He lives.
It is sometimes scary. Of course. That is why it is called disease.
The other important thing is my jelousy. During my university years (in literature) I used my fantasies to fulfill my exams in writing. In the last 10 years I am so protective with them, that I think noone ever will know about him/them, I am not willing to tell them.
On the other hand, I have had many positive aftermaths of it. I would like to talk about it in athread, if you are interested.
I registered here, because it has got worse lately. Worse means, that I began to spend more than acceptable hours a day in dreams, I has accustic responses and also rythmical moves. In my teen years it used to be walking around in my room, now it was stroking my shoulder – not in an erotic way, rather like a support, or just for the rhytm.
I have had a soap oper in my head for 20 years now. Characters appear and disappear, but the main caharacters are the same. My main characters are not me.
I think, sometimes they are characters thar I want (ed) to be, should be, should have been, or could have been with, but never my IRL self.
I am a woman, and my main character is a man, sometimes involved in affairs with a female character like me, but never exactly me.
My MDD I think embraces the concept of „detailed” story. Though I am able to change even the decade where it happens, if I want (and I enjoy it), I also am aware of the tiniest bits of my character, and I never act wrong. I know his soul, his body, his mind, his favourite colours, meals, drinks, his anxieties, his parents, his hobbies, his secret love letters, his childhood memories, his poems, his fears, his medicines, and by heart I know his appartment. EVERYTHING. For me, He lives.
It is sometimes scary. Of course. That is why it is called disease.
The other important thing is my jelousy. During my university years (in literature) I used my fantasies to fulfill my exams in writing. In the last 10 years I am so protective with them, that I think noone ever will know about him/them, I am not willing to tell them.
On the other hand, I have had many positive aftermaths of it. I would like to talk about it in athread, if you are interested.
about it. thanks
