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Post by cameronthadreamer98 on Sept 28, 2019 0:00:34 GMT
Hi everyone, my name is Cameron. For as long as I can remember I’ve excessively daydreamed. I would find something( a pencil, hanger, comb, etc) to wiggle around with while I was in my fantasy world where things were much better. As I got older (around 12) I broke the habit of wiggling around an object and just started putting on my headphones and listened to music and from there that became the new habit as I walked around back in forth upstairs from my room to the hallway window. It made me feel at ease however I had no idea that this extremely difficult habit would bleed into my high school years and then my early adult years. I’m 21 now and a couple of weeks ago I came to the realization that I’m addicted to daydreaming. It’s like a fake best friend. One that will smile in your face and tell you its ok and treating you while slowly stabbing you in the back which in this case would be ruining my reality more. There’s so much that I wanted when I was little because I didn’t think I could have it because in real life I wasn’t this cool person who had it going on. Instead I was awkward, a coward, I had issues picking up on things, I’m not driving, I don’t know how to do my hair, and I’ve been going from job to job while living with my parents. I’m an aspiring musician and artist who wants to make music while go to school to study English. It feels like all of these aspirations are in my head because I can bring myself to do the things I want in real life. I get bored easily and give up. I’ve lost interest in so many things and I just want to get better. I’m tired of living my life like this. I want to get my drivers license without the fear of daydreaming and getting into an accident. I want to expand in playing piano and guitar. Daydreaming has given me hope in my darkest moments. Another thing I’ve been battling is depression and that kept me more in my dreams because I didn’t want to feel miserable. But I have to be honest with myself. I am miserable. I am not ok. And I’m sorry... even though daydreaming has given me awesome ideas and has basically kept me sane in my darkest moments, it’s causing me pain in my real life. People are noticing that something is wrong because it’s gotten worse. I want so badly to get better but it seems like every time I try, I keep slipping away and it pulls 10x harder the more I try to fight it. I need my reality to be better so I can live a better life. I just want to be something in life that’s all. People don’t expect anything great from me because I’ve never really impressed people that much. I want to change minds and I want to be something great. Is that too much to ask?
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Post by Sam on Sept 28, 2019 3:25:23 GMT
What you've written sounds very familiar. Your experience is similar to that of a lot of others here on the forum.
Have you tried treating your depression? If its the root cause of your continued daydreaming then no matter what you do to try to stop daydreaming, your depression will just pull you back to your old habits. If you treat the root cause of your daydreaming, you might find it a lot easier to replace the unhealthy habit of daydreaming with more healthy ones.
Welcome to the forum!
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Post by cameronthadreamer98 on Sept 28, 2019 4:02:12 GMT
I plan on going back to therapy. My biggest issue is self hatred. I’m very insecure about myself as a person because I don’t believe I’m good enough for people. I remember when I used to not care but when I got to middle school things changed for the worse. I have issues being honest too because of it. I’m so afraid of what people would think of the real me.
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Post by bee on Sept 28, 2019 7:53:36 GMT
Hey Cameron,
welcome to the forum!
I can relate to soooo much of what you wrote... Insecurity, not-good-enough, awkward...
Yeah, daydreaming can really feel like a best friend and I think it's ok to use it in bad times, I did it and it really helped me to cope.
But now the friend has outstayed his welcome and I think you did the best thing: You realized the problem and you are doing something about it.
Great! Don't worry, it won't be easy, but you will manage.
Back to therapy is a good plan! And look around here at the forum if you want to, there are a lot of great post about how other people deal with similar problems like yours.
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Post by alvi on Sept 28, 2019 17:49:00 GMT
Hi Cameron, Welcome to the forum
I think returning to therapy is a great place to start. Are there any local confidence and self esteem workshops running near where you live? Quite a few places in the UK do self referrals for these and for free but I don't know about anywhere else I'm afraid.
I also get bored and give up on things easily. I never want to learn anything I just want to be able to do it without needing to practice.
There is a goal thread that might be a good place to start putting down some of the things you want to achieve. I'd always say start as small as possible so not to overwhelm yourself.
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Post by cameronthadreamer98 on Sept 28, 2019 22:48:46 GMT
Hi Cameron, Welcome to the forum I think returning to therapy is a great place to start. Are there any local confidence and self esteem workshops running near where you live? Quite a few places in the UK do self referrals for these and for free but I don't know about anywhere else I'm afraid. I also get bored and give up on things easily. I never want to learn anything I just want to be able to do it without needing to practice. There is a goal thread that might be a good place to start putting down some of the things you want to achieve. I'd always say start as small as possible so not to overwhelm yourself. I’m not too sure I’ll have to check I live in the US so I’m sure there might be something like that around I’ll just have to look it up. But this would be my second time going back to therapy because the first time didn’t work out. That due to my therapist not being as interested and me not telling the whole truth. Hopefully the next person will help give me closure and help put me on the right track. |
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