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Fears
Oct 16, 2019 3:55:19 GMT
via mobile
alvi and bee like this
Post by fellowmder on Oct 16, 2019 3:55:19 GMT
Probably this thread does not fit under this section. Please bare with me. I have started college, has been two months now. I have a constant fear of things repeating back in my life. Procrastination, bunking class, daydreaming for like hours, through the entire day, binge eating or binge watching anything. Like I can see those traits just coming back to me. I don't wake up when the alarm rings, my work is never done before deadline and i am probably the only one who has to redo it again and again. I am not at all good at this college work as opposed to my friends who are really doing it good. Today i am bunking my class for the entire day and i just realised probably i am getting back to those habits. I am scared sometimes looking at people's work and realising that i actually don't stand anywhere close to my daydream self. Everyday i am reminded of how pathetic i am when i take support of my daydreams ( that i am very creative and an up to the mark student who has many friends) to shield myself from the reality of everything. If my night isn't spent working i don't like it the other day and i have to ease my head by saying that I'll use this energy to complete my target but it never happens so. I am just really scared what if the vicious cycle two years back start back again in my life. I won't be able to get off the ground ever again in my life. It is right now that i realize that if things don't go right i might as well be kicked out of the college. Is there some way I can curb these habits. Thanks for reading my rant.
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Fears
Oct 16, 2019 17:17:23 GMT
Post by Sam on Oct 16, 2019 17:17:23 GMT
Recognizing that you're falling back into unhealthy patterns is probably a good first step in dealing with them. It sounds like you're doing a good job of recognizing them when they happen. Is there any way that you could make small changes when you see yourself repeating old patterns? Like, if you're having trouble getting up on time, maybe try using a different alarm. Or if you're seeing yourself really wanting to skip all of your classes, maybe try going to just one, and then deciding from there whether you want to skip the rest (even if you do end up skipping the rest, at least you'll have gone to 1 more class than you would have if you'd skipped all of them). Could your friends help you study and keep you accountable to your deadlines, giving you little reminders and help if you need it so that you get more of your things done before they're due?
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Post by wendy on Oct 16, 2019 19:50:25 GMT
Like Sam said, could your friends help you somehow? I'm finishing university now and during the last months my MD has gotten pretty bad. I have a friend, we study together and she keeps me focused during exam period. I wouldn't be where I am without her. It can be hard to reach out, but when someone cares about you, they are happy to help. In any case,be kind to yourself. You clearly recognize your problem and are trying to change and college is already a struggle on its own.
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Fears
Oct 16, 2019 21:30:52 GMT
Post by alvi on Oct 16, 2019 21:30:52 GMT
Sam and Wendy make great points. Its really good that you have realised that you're struggling and want to deal with it as soon as possible.
Do you think you have a friend that could become a 'study buddy', or maybe try working in a public place like the library as there will be less opportunities to procrastinate or zone out in a daydream.
The other thing you could do is post a few small goals in the goal thread here and we can encourage and support you where possible. Maybe list a few small task everyday in a notebook and tick them off as you achieve them.
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Fears
Oct 20, 2019 8:05:33 GMT
Post by bee on Oct 20, 2019 8:05:33 GMT
A lot of good suggestions already here... Let me add a thought I had while reading through a lot of your posts in the last days.
Enjoy yourself. You are 17 years old, you are at the college you always wanted to be, studying what you wanted to study. Go to the middle of the campus, open your eyes and look around. There is a whole world to explore right in front of you, interesting people to meet and adventures to have.
You achieved this absolutely fantastic milestone in you life. You made it, not the dream-self in your head. Be proud of yourself. Don't let your dreams steal that feeling with a lot of unrealistic expectations. Go out, meet people, join the chess-club, the student-union, the archery class, explore the library, do sports, whatever you want to do.
Of course you have issues to deal with, it won't be easy, there is no quick-fix to all of this. But don't forget the real-you over all of this. She made it this far, she deserves a little bit of relaxation and fun, don't you think?
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Fears
Oct 21, 2019 20:33:08 GMT
via mobile
Post by fellowmder on Oct 21, 2019 20:33:08 GMT
I guess my biggest fear is people realizing the real me. The one who just didn't procrastinate, left class but the one who slowly started not caring about anything. It is overwhelming to think that my current mistakes will soon lead me to such a dead end that i experienced a year before. I have already reached a point where i can't put up with where i am in reality and where i always saw myself in my daydreams. The gap is so big and everytime i ponder over it, it just frustrates me to such a point that i want to do nothing. I rivert back to being lazy, not caring about the world around me, binge eating, watching and daydreaming (i just left my class and did this for last 8 hours). I get so frustrated with this difference, just as before that i continue to slack off. Are there ways that i can put myself on track? Well the idea all of you guys gave for a friend might really not work for me. I still try asking one of my friend if she'd help. One more question i wanted to ask, have you guys ever felt that your feelings, emotions or stresses are something that other common people also share? Then why can't I overcome if all others equally face that? Why me? Thanks for reading my rant
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yasmine
Active Daydreamer
i see mdd as a gift but i want to reduce it cause it starts looking like a curse
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Post by yasmine on Oct 22, 2019 12:53:16 GMT
Probably this thread does not fit under this section. Please bare with me. I have started college, has been two months now. I have a constant fear of things repeating back in my life. Procrastination, bunking class, daydreaming for like hours, through the entire day, binge eating or binge watching anything. Like I can see those traits just coming back to me. I don't wake up when the alarm rings, my work is never done before deadline and i am probably the only one who has to redo it again and again. I am not at all good at this college work as opposed to my friends who are really doing it good. Today i am bunking my class for the entire day and i just realised probably i am getting back to those habits. I am scared sometimes looking at people's work and realising that i actually don't stand anywhere close to my daydream self. Everyday i am reminded of how pathetic i am when i take support of my daydreams ( that i am very creative and an up to the mark student who has many friends) to shield myself from the reality of everything. If my night isn't spent working i don't like it the other day and i have to ease my head by saying that I'll use this energy to complete my target but it never happens so. I am just really scared what if the vicious cycle two years back start back again in my life. I won't be able to get off the ground ever again in my life. It is right now that i realize that if things don't go right i might as well be kicked out of the college. Is there some way I can curb these habits. Thanks for reading my rant. first, try and set up small goals after which you reward yourself. act like you would act with a todler. "oh you completed your homework, how good of you! you deserve a treat" etc., it really helps. and then…. i understand the fear, but i need you to know you are a strong human being and can take control of your own habits. i believe in you and so should you. get yourself in line, you dont need to life up to your daydream self. you just need to get a stable happy little life. i hope it helps knowing that you are not alone, many people struggle like you even those who you say do their work amazing. most people just hide the struggle behind a smile, thats all. you might struggle with md but they might struggle with substance abuse, you never know. you can stop the vicious cycle from happening believe me. let me repeat you. dont. have. to. life. up. to. your. daydream. self. it will just make you depressed, i tried. dont you ever compare yourself to someone else, not even to your fictional self. its fictional for a reason. you can do it you already broke the cycle once didnt you, and here you are in college.
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Post by Sam on Oct 23, 2019 17:15:22 GMT
Probably this thread does not fit under this section. Please bare with me. I have started college, has been two months now. I have a constant fear of things repeating back in my life. Procrastination, bunking class, daydreaming for like hours, through the entire day, binge eating or binge watching anything. Like I can see those traits just coming back to me. I don't wake up when the alarm rings, my work is never done before deadline and i am probably the only one who has to redo it again and again. I am not at all good at this college work as opposed to my friends who are really doing it good. Today i am bunking my class for the entire day and i just realised probably i am getting back to those habits. I am scared sometimes looking at people's work and realising that i actually don't stand anywhere close to my daydream self. Everyday i am reminded of how pathetic i am when i take support of my daydreams ( that i am very creative and an up to the mark student who has many friends) to shield myself from the reality of everything. If my night isn't spent working i don't like it the other day and i have to ease my head by saying that I'll use this energy to complete my target but it never happens so. I am just really scared what if the vicious cycle two years back start back again in my life. I won't be able to get off the ground ever again in my life. It is right now that i realize that if things don't go right i might as well be kicked out of the college. Is there some way I can curb these habits. Thanks for reading my rant. first, try and set up small goals after which you reward yourself. act like you would act with a todler. "oh you completed your homework, how good of you! you deserve a treat" etc., it really helps. I agree with this. When I was in highschool, during my junior year I was really struggling with motivation because of the pain that I was in, so I would buy bags of mini marshmallows and eat one marshmallow after every problem I did. It made it a little easier for me to motivate myself to get my work done. Just make sure that you fulfill the rewards that you earn as soon as you can. If you sort of, put your rewards in the bank, I guess, it can be less effective because even though you are still technically getting the rewards at some point, your brain doesn't associate the reward with the action that you took to get the reward.
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