Post by runner666 on Nov 8, 2019 3:16:30 GMT
Hi my name is Jebs
This is my first time on a forum and it said to make an intro post so here I am.
I have been "running" ever since I learned to walk. My parents were always super supportive and seemed to understand that "running" was my way of coping with the world. I never talked about it to anyone outside my family and always got really embarrassed at family functions when my mom brought it up to my more distant relatives. I remember in elementary school that I would walk and walk and walk around the track at recess because it was as close as I could get to my hallway at home at school.
Fast forward to 8th grade when I had a friend who used to do something similar, but for her it wasn't as violent/loud and she didn't make the same weird noises I did. She was the first person I've ever told and afterwards I slowly opened up to my other close friends who, to my shock and joy, didn't seem to mind at all.
I remember at one point I recorded myself on my moms phone and just sat on the couch crying. I had never heard the sounds I made before and it hurt so bad to realize how freakish I really looked.
Fast forward again to sophomore year in high school. I was no longer friends with the first person I opened up to and was in a really dark place. I was texting my best friend (I'll call him E) and was wallowing in self hatred about how weird running made me feel, and how I was 100% certain that there was no one else in the world who did the same thing I did.
He didn't respond for a long, long time and I was
"This is it, he's finally realized how screwed I am and will never speak to me again." After a while I got a link from E with a site that was covered in people talking about doing the some of the exact same things I do. I just began to wail, clutching my phone to my chest saying "I'm not alone, I'm not alone, I'm not alone" over and over again.
E understood and helped me come to terms with it, but I still wasn't ready to really look into it.
Now I'm a senior in high school and working with a therapist to get out of the rut I've been in for the past couple years. I've told her about running and she didn't have any clues to what it was.
So this past week when I was at E's house we sat down and found the site again. The words Maladaptive Daydreaming was on there and we started researching it. Through that we found this forum. I cried on his shoulder for hours as we read through the threads of people like me. Now I have a name for it and I feel freer. I feel like I can talk to people about it.
I'm not a freak. I use MD to cope and I'm not alone. I want to write an article on MD for the school newspaper to let anyone who has it at my school know they're not alone too.
~Jebs
This is my first time on a forum and it said to make an intro post so here I am.
I have been "running" ever since I learned to walk. My parents were always super supportive and seemed to understand that "running" was my way of coping with the world. I never talked about it to anyone outside my family and always got really embarrassed at family functions when my mom brought it up to my more distant relatives. I remember in elementary school that I would walk and walk and walk around the track at recess because it was as close as I could get to my hallway at home at school.
Fast forward to 8th grade when I had a friend who used to do something similar, but for her it wasn't as violent/loud and she didn't make the same weird noises I did. She was the first person I've ever told and afterwards I slowly opened up to my other close friends who, to my shock and joy, didn't seem to mind at all.
I remember at one point I recorded myself on my moms phone and just sat on the couch crying. I had never heard the sounds I made before and it hurt so bad to realize how freakish I really looked.
Fast forward again to sophomore year in high school. I was no longer friends with the first person I opened up to and was in a really dark place. I was texting my best friend (I'll call him E) and was wallowing in self hatred about how weird running made me feel, and how I was 100% certain that there was no one else in the world who did the same thing I did.
He didn't respond for a long, long time and I was
"This is it, he's finally realized how screwed I am and will never speak to me again." After a while I got a link from E with a site that was covered in people talking about doing the some of the exact same things I do. I just began to wail, clutching my phone to my chest saying "I'm not alone, I'm not alone, I'm not alone" over and over again. E understood and helped me come to terms with it, but I still wasn't ready to really look into it.
Now I'm a senior in high school and working with a therapist to get out of the rut I've been in for the past couple years. I've told her about running and she didn't have any clues to what it was.
So this past week when I was at E's house we sat down and found the site again. The words Maladaptive Daydreaming was on there and we started researching it. Through that we found this forum. I cried on his shoulder for hours as we read through the threads of people like me. Now I have a name for it and I feel freer. I feel like I can talk to people about it.
I'm not a freak. I use MD to cope and I'm not alone. I want to write an article on MD for the school newspaper to let anyone who has it at my school know they're not alone too.
~Jebs
