Hello, my name is Andrew. I am 27 yrs old and I believe I have been dealing with MD since I was 4 years old.
To be honest, I am relieved and at the same time skeptical about this disorder. I just discovered this term (2 hrs ago) for what seems to be an impossible diagnosis on the symptoms I've been experiencing.
My earliest memories of experiencing MD is at the age of around 4-5 years of age. Like many kids at that age I had imaginary friends that I would see and talk to as if they were really there.
Unlike most kids though, as I got older my imaginary "friends" did not go away and I soon was given multiple diagnosis by school psychiatrists and medical professionals. When I was in grade 2 and 3 I would daydream to the point of severe dissociation. I don't have much memory of those events, other than what my mum has told me.
I am happy to say though that I rarely dissociate to the point of blacking out, so to speak.
Throughout my childhood and teenage years, I've rarely had any friends, and I believe having MD is one of the factors of having poor social skills. Why make friends when you have friends in your head, right.
The longer I dealt with MD, the more I learned how to keep my "secret" to not be known or for anyone to see what I was doing. When I have an episode (or whatever it's called) I hear voices and I respond back with whispering.
At the moment I feel uncomfortable talking about the details of what goes on in my fantasy world. What I can say is that movies, manga/anime have been sort of a catalyst in the development of the characters in my world and also what my persona in that world as well.
I don't know if this is the same for others on here but, I notice that if I am busy at work around people or doing something where my mind is occupied on a task, I do not experience MD. However, if I am doing something mundane such as driving or cleaning, I notice the mind will wander and the daydream (or loop, what I've been calling it) starts.
I tend to think out loud often and sometimes that's mistaken for talking to myself.
One of the main reasons I've been on the search for what this is, is the fact that if I get too stuck in a loop, I can become the person I am in my false world.
The person I am in these false world has evolved over the years, but one factor that remains the same is that I tend to get angry easily.
In reality, I am very easygoing and calm, but I guess I felt subconsciously that I have no backbone to certain situations. The (what seemed to be an upside) was my character in my world, took no
from no one. The crushing downside is these anger outbursts have caused emotional harm to my family.
As for now, I feel I am more in control of my life, with the help of counselling from a light worker for 3 years and counting, self help courses and reading materials. I have become more social through work and I am taking care of my health. I believe that whatever we are suffering from at this moment will not go away, but hopefully we will learn strategies in reducing these negative daydreaming patterns.
P.S. I may also add that I notice whenever I make a conscious effort to get rid or to drastically improve myself, I feel these "friends" can become very negative and try to sabotage my efforts in improving myself to the point where I do not need them anymore.
I look forward in discussing about each other's experiences with MD, and hopefully finding ways to reduce and or eliminate MD from our lives.
-Andrew