|
|
Post by thehopelessromantic on Dec 22, 2019 6:36:35 GMT
Not real ghosts, of course. Imaginary people, usually from my life. I will have an hour long conversation with a fake version of one of my friends and tell them things I normally would not.in the fantasy, I am safe from judgement. I can receive the validation they fail to give me. I can be as aggressive and open and hurtful as I want, and still have their friendship in real life. I dont know how to express my disappointment in them when they do things they shouldn't. So I keep it to myself and engage in the conversations we need to have in real life, but in the daydreams.
I'll feel a strong presence of the person, a weight in the seat next to me on the couch, a physical sensation, their facial expressions, I'll hear them reply, I'll receive non-verbal cues, my face will react to them, I will experience strong emotional responses. I will yell when I'm home alone. I will whisper to them or talk to them while walking to the train. I'll laugh at a joke they most likely would have made.
I'll feel satisfied at the end, like I just ate a big meal to fulfill emptiness.
Then later on I have issues with my relationships because I never really confronted them at all.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sam on Dec 24, 2019 4:36:20 GMT
I do this too, mainly because I never see the people in real life anymore.
|
|
|
|
Post by thehopelessromantic on Dec 24, 2019 10:37:38 GMT
I do this too, mainly because I never see the people in real life anymore. I think this is such a big issue. Not seeing people often enough is a problem because tough conversations need to happen in person, but when there's long gaps between seeing a person, issues go unresolved and sometimes forgotten. There can be animosity that festers for a long time, and eventually, like right now, I'll start to consider cutting the person off since it's easier than unpacking that much stuff. I have a friend who hates talking online e or on the phone, but she also cant hang out often at all. So there's always issues, and she dismisses that theres a problem, and doesn't want to talk about it. I'm considering cutting her off, but I also haven't talked to her about it much, and given her a chance to reconcile with me. I'm confused and stressed out. |
|
|
|
Post by someone on Dec 26, 2019 15:28:22 GMT
We all get that way sometimes. I do the fake conversing thing too, but now it's mostly with people I'm around if it's a real problem that I'm imagining addressing. I guess I only know a few people I'm not around (by that I mean non-family members) that I really want another level of connection with. But it's ok to feel confused and stressed out about it. I'm not the best person for giving interpersonal advice because the last time I really took a chance on confronting friends about dismissing me was when I was 11. I learned not to do it anymore then because it never works. You just feel worse after because it doesn't make a difference for the better, you just prove your weird emotionally. But I think the fact that you're both much more mature than me and my friends when I was eleven and younger makes confrontation definitely worth a shot. Now, I know I should take my own advice, but I worry about doing it because I feel that I'll be overreacting. I try to remind myself I'm new to the lives of my current friends/acquaintances, so it's normal that I shouldn't expect them to think of me as one of the most prominent things in their lives, but it's depressing because I don't have highschool friends or any friends from before. I guess I want to lean on my college friends a whole lot, but I'm trying to keep from coming out to them that much because they have their own lives and I don't want to be a weight or burden, I want to be a friend. But that was a serious off-tangent, sorry. I feel like you should try confronting them, but first think about what you really want out of it and prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for possible consequences. During the confrontation, it might help to bring up how hard it was to bring it up to them and discuss why it was hard and your reason for going through with it anyway. That's my advice, but my warning is that I haven't tested it yet so it might not be the best.
|
|
