Post by Magioni Cortello on Dec 26, 2019 0:59:01 GMT
I am pretty glad I found this forum. I've been doing this my entire life, yet I'm one of the seemingly many people who had no idea this was an actual thing until recently.
I am currently 21, male, employed, and am single. I can't quite exactly remember when I first noticed that daydreaming was happening consecutively enough to become a regular habit. I think 5th, maybe 6th grade?
I totally do it as a coping mechanism as well as to provide myself with a good source of entertainment that costs nothing and can be accessed anywhere at any time. Ideally. But with that in mind, so far it has contributed to my life pretty much turning into a total mess.
I don't think here is the best place to get into some of my other problems but things such as severe depression, terrible relationships, difficulty expressing myself, intense and constant anger problems, and other things seem to have been terribly exacerbated by this.
I'm not proud to say that I have been taken to some extremely dark places and was driven to do things such as self-medicate with drugs like marijuana and alcohol, self harm, the works.
The bitch of it is I really don't like reality. Or people. I feel like almost nobody does, but unfortunately it's quite obvious at this point that I've failed to deal with the situations life has given me properly. Like so many people here have said, MDing is so addictive, so irresistible, because you can almost have everything, everything you ever wanted or wanted to happen right there with you and it's so easy to not realize that your real life is slipping away. I've relied on it WAY too much.
Daydreaming(or obsessions as I call them) makes me happy, it really does. To be honest, I really can't imagine being focused entirely on reality and not be absolutely miserable. I recall some of the best times of my life were that way because daydreaming seemed to enhance everything. Like my characters were actually there with me.
I don't want to cut it out of my life entirely. I've invested so much time, so much thought, so much emotional attachment, that I don't think I can bring myself to that. Even though I know this habit of mine has pretty much ruined my life and caused me to miss out on so, so much, I don't want to abandon it. Thankfully it seems that I can bring it under control and maybe even use it for more productive/beneficial means if I am capable. If I can't live a decent life with this, though, then that'd be a real pickle.
Thus why I have come here. I really hope I can get some real help here as well as provide beneficial contributions to the community. I've tried therapy but it's hard to know what to even say to them. I've never properly opened up about this and it's been difficult to wrap my head around it in the past.
I've seen (I think from Sam) that identifying triggers is a huge first step, as well as practicing meditation/mindfulness. Funny enough, I actually started the latter almost exactly a year ago but have run into a roadblock with that. Subject for another thread, probably. Sorry if I'm too wordy and unfocused, I just have quite a bit to say and I have a great deal of difficulty of expressing myself.
Thank you guys for reading this!
I'm kind of
to start interacting with people who seem to know exactly what I've been going through.
Merry Christmas!
I am currently 21, male, employed, and am single. I can't quite exactly remember when I first noticed that daydreaming was happening consecutively enough to become a regular habit. I think 5th, maybe 6th grade?
I totally do it as a coping mechanism as well as to provide myself with a good source of entertainment that costs nothing and can be accessed anywhere at any time. Ideally. But with that in mind, so far it has contributed to my life pretty much turning into a total mess.
I don't think here is the best place to get into some of my other problems but things such as severe depression, terrible relationships, difficulty expressing myself, intense and constant anger problems, and other things seem to have been terribly exacerbated by this.
I'm not proud to say that I have been taken to some extremely dark places and was driven to do things such as self-medicate with drugs like marijuana and alcohol, self harm, the works.
The bitch of it is I really don't like reality. Or people. I feel like almost nobody does, but unfortunately it's quite obvious at this point that I've failed to deal with the situations life has given me properly. Like so many people here have said, MDing is so addictive, so irresistible, because you can almost have everything, everything you ever wanted or wanted to happen right there with you and it's so easy to not realize that your real life is slipping away. I've relied on it WAY too much.
Daydreaming(or obsessions as I call them) makes me happy, it really does. To be honest, I really can't imagine being focused entirely on reality and not be absolutely miserable. I recall some of the best times of my life were that way because daydreaming seemed to enhance everything. Like my characters were actually there with me.
I don't want to cut it out of my life entirely. I've invested so much time, so much thought, so much emotional attachment, that I don't think I can bring myself to that. Even though I know this habit of mine has pretty much ruined my life and caused me to miss out on so, so much, I don't want to abandon it. Thankfully it seems that I can bring it under control and maybe even use it for more productive/beneficial means if I am capable. If I can't live a decent life with this, though, then that'd be a real pickle.
Thus why I have come here. I really hope I can get some real help here as well as provide beneficial contributions to the community. I've tried therapy but it's hard to know what to even say to them. I've never properly opened up about this and it's been difficult to wrap my head around it in the past.
I've seen (I think from Sam) that identifying triggers is a huge first step, as well as practicing meditation/mindfulness. Funny enough, I actually started the latter almost exactly a year ago but have run into a roadblock with that. Subject for another thread, probably. Sorry if I'm too wordy and unfocused, I just have quite a bit to say and I have a great deal of difficulty of expressing myself.
Thank you guys for reading this!
I'm kind of
to start interacting with people who seem to know exactly what I've been going through.Merry Christmas!
. Yeah I think I can give that a go.
