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Post by notmyname on Jan 1, 2020 6:19:39 GMT
Sorry I dont usually post but I've had so many times that I can remember where I've begun struggling like I am now with simultaneously wanted my daydreams to dissapear and be real. I know its not real. But I love people that dont even exist, or only exist to me, for me, and it's so hard to accept real people and real love when in my head it seems so much better. Saying I want it to be real makes me feel crazy but saying I want it to go away hurts because my daydreams hold people I love. People that are real to me. I'm in limbo.
Does anyone else have this problem? How can I accept real relationships when I cant give up the ones in my head?
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Post by granger on Jan 1, 2020 16:19:51 GMT
Sorry I dont usually post but I've had so many times that I can remember where I've begun struggling like I am now with simultaneously wanted my daydreams to dissapear and be real. I know its not real. But I love people that dont even exist, or only exist to me, for me, and it's so hard to accept real people and real love when in my head it seems so much better. Saying I want it to be real makes me feel crazy but saying I want it to go away hurts because my daydreams hold people I love. People that are real to me. I'm in limbo. Does anyone else have this problem? How can I accept real relationships when I cant give up the ones in my head? Hi I also have an imagimary partner. But mine is not as developed as I have found some other mder's characters. He has a personality and voice but not much else. And other characters change with plot so I don't have attatchment problems with them. I don't have a real life partner. Pretty much for every real person there is a surrogate md character. I think that you should try building your real relatioships without doing away with md altogether. From my experiance, this simply doesn't happen. You will need to force yourself. It will be dull and awkward. Try cutting on md while working on real experiances. Its way easier said than done, but I guess we don't have much of an option. |
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Post by Sam on Jan 2, 2020 17:07:44 GMT
This has been a big issue for me, personally. Due to my social anxiety, I don't really interact with a lot of people in real life. Because of that, I latch on to daydream characters. It feels safer to interact with them than real people. Sometimes is romantic, sometimes its platonic, but I love them all and it is really difficult for me to let go of them and cultivate interpersonal relationships in real life.
Its easier said than done, but perhaps if you cultivate deeper interpersonal relationships in real life, you won't feel the need to rely on your daydream characters so much and it'll be easier to let them go.
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Post by audrey11 on Jan 3, 2020 17:18:10 GMT
I’ve been there, so desperate for these people to be real. It’s heart wrenching. Looking back, I don’t remember half of the imagined people who have come and gone from my mind. People I thought would never disappear. Maybe they served their purpose and helped me process something difficult or they were damaging enough that I finally got them out of my head, but either way, they’re gone now. I didn’t try. They just left. In hind sight I can honestly say I don’t miss them. I don’t miss the confused and hurting part of myself that created them. My current friend is someone I love dearly who needs my help and my love. I know enough now to know I really want him to go away. I’m surrounded by people who truly need me and want me (even with all my flaws) and my “friend” is starting to feel like a boyfriend I need to break up with. I’ll get over it. He just needs to find some healing and move on! The problem is that he’ll leave when he wants to. I don’t know how to control that part.
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Post by tshark73 on Jan 5, 2020 19:22:09 GMT
For me it's this famous actor..... only it is my idealised version of him. I'm desperately in love with him and sometimes I get so  that it's not real...... other times it feels incredibly real except I can't actually touch him. Tnen I get again.... |
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Post by madudu on Jan 5, 2020 19:42:07 GMT
I have it and honestly? my relationships went to waste because of it. I love the person I created so much, I love the person from MD so much.
I just wanted a way we could be together.
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aj
New Daydreamer
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Post by aj on Jan 7, 2020 5:24:19 GMT
I absolutely relate to feeling crazy that you want it to be real but feeling hurt at the thought of it going away. It’s awful; it feels like you can’t win.
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Marcydel
Junior Daydreamer
Enter your message here...
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Post by Marcydel on Jan 8, 2020 20:14:23 GMT
If he/she’s important to you, then no, I don’t think you’re crazy (I do the same thing and I’ve decided that I’m not crazy, so I’m probably biased, but whatever). If it hurts too much to give them up, maybe that’s a sign you’re not really supposed to give them up? I mean, the characters themselves may not be real, but our feelings towards them definitely are, that’s probably what brings the characters to life for us, not the characters themselves. Idk what to say about accepting real relationships though, since I’m not exactly in the position to advise on that.
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Post by bunnylove on Jan 12, 2020 0:14:22 GMT
I absolutely know what you mean. The last person I dated in real life was 4 years ago and in that time I have attempted to sign up to dating websites but find it really hard to think about giving up my daydream relationships. My MD relationships tend to change from person to person, I daydream about actors and musicians so as soon as I am drawn to someone new my attention shifts and I have done this since I was a teenager, so I feel like I never consciously end a MD relationship. My MD has stopped in the past when I have been in relationships so I know the MD is replacing something for me that I miss. It's silly but it makes me feel anxious and sick  about not spending time in my head with my daydreams but I realize this has really put my actual life on hold. For me I think it comes down to fear, I am aware that I am a control freak and I can control the relationship in my head but I cannot control what happens in real life. I feel like I am protecting myself and sabotaging myself at the same time. |
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that it's not real...... other times it feels incredibly real except I can't actually touch him. Tnen I get 
about not spending time in my head with my daydreams but I realize this has really put my actual life on hold.