|
Post by Sam on Dec 13, 2018 0:35:46 GMT
I think that I mentioned in one of my posts (both here and on my blog) that I consider the emotions that I feel when daydreaming to be pseudo-emotions. We all know that our daydreaming can cause a wide variety of emotions; pleasant and unpleasant; strong and weak. When you experience them through a daydream, especially if the main character is an idealized version of yourself, like mine usually is, you're feeling the emotions but you aren't experiencing them in the way that is proper and healthy. Its like a twisted version of the non-identification with emotions that mindfulness and meditation teach.
I would even say that, personally, I started using daydreaming as a conduit for all of the emotions that I should be feeling in real life, but for whatever reason I deny myself.
Obviously, when you start feeling an emotion, most people either express it or repress it. Both of those options have their good sides and bad sides. But something that I've noticed is that I, having maladaptive daydreaming, tend to shift any and all emotions that real life-me is feeling onto alternate-me. Alternate-me is generally much better at dealing with or letting go emotions than real life-me is. And while I understand why I do it for emotions that I consider to be unpleasant (such as grief, fear, anger, or sadness), why I do it with pleasant, positive ones is somewhat of a mystery.
I've come to the conclusion that perhaps I don't feel worthy of expressing emotions, positive or negative. I carry a lot of bitterness and anger toward my peers for them choosing not to stay in touch with me. But, as I realized this morning after analyzing the content of some of my daydreams, I also think that I'm angry at myself for abandoning them. And for making the choices that at the time seemed for the best but really just led to more isolation and pain. Perhaps the emotional transfer became a kind of punishment by making myself feel less human (after all, emotions are a mostly universal experience).
Or my almost complete isolation of the past 5 years has led me to become out of touch with regular emotional expression, as there isn't much of that in my household, so I may have forgotten how. Being disconnected with real people and having the internet be my main form of communication has cut me off from the experiences of the real world, which I'm sure has just made it that much more easy for me to slip into daydreaming instead of experiencing life to the fullest.
Has anyone else felt something similar? The emotional transfer is probably more prevalent in daydreamers whose characters are idealized versions of themselves, but I can't imagine that I'm the only one who experiences this.
|
|
|
Post by katie on Dec 22, 2018 20:14:56 GMT
I am told that I don't show much emotion when things happen to me that I should be happy about or when I am sad I don't cry maybe I seem to feel all my emotion on the inside and in my daydreams
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Dec 23, 2018 23:46:10 GMT
Mostly I transfer my feelings to dd characters when I was not in right place to express nor repress. Cannot express as I know not everyone aware to my expression, cannot repress as I cannot hidden my annoyed face well. Actually I found this useful, but need training. Few times I failed and crying hard, and it went worse because people judged me as total weird.
|
|
|
Post by Sam on Jan 18, 2019 18:59:05 GMT
I'm coming back to this topic after a month because I still do this (unsurprising, since I've been doing it for years) and I was just writing about it in my journal this morning. The emotional transfer is something that I still wonder about on a frequent basis. I have a habit of denying my emotions in real life because of a variety of reasons. First, I believe that real life-me experiences emotions much more strongly than the average person because I have bipolar disorder. Transferring my real life emotions onto daydream-me is, I believe, a way to not only express them in perhaps a more healthy way, but also to blunt some of the intensity. Second, I have some medical problems that prevent me from expressing the emotions that I want and need to in real life without causing harm so myself. So again, transferring them to daydream-me gives me a way to express them without harming myself. Some examples: - Happiness: I don't often encounter things that make me truly joyful, but when I do, I usually start daydreaming. I believe that this is because my happiness often quickly turns into hypomania in real life, so by transferring the happiness that I feel onto daydream-me, I blunt the emotion while still being able to feel it, and the resulting depression is usually less bad (I almost always get a depressive episode after having a hypomanic one, like some sort of twisted rollercoaster, and the higher my hypomania goes, the worse the resulting depression gets).
- Anger: I have, or at least had, a really big anger problem. Maybe it's from some medication I'm on, maybe its just genetic. But the anger gets so intense that the only way for me to release it is to exercise. However, I get exercise-induced migraines very quickly and easily, so venting my anger through exercise isn't really an option. So by transferring my anger to daydream-me, I'm able to give it vent without harming myself so much in the process.
- Sadness/Depression/Grief: Again, because of my migraines, I'm unable to cry without giving myself a migraine, so transferring that sadness to daydream-me makes it so that I can experience the emotions without them being as intense for harmful as usual. I'm also terrified of apathy, I spent like 3 days in 2017 just staring at my wall before my mental health crisis "officially" started, and because of that, I any time I experience apathy to a great degree I feel very afraid. As I pace while I'm daydreaming, it's hard to stay in an apathetic state.
Does anyone else relate to this? If the "transferring real life emotions onto idealized daydream-self" thing isn't that common among maladaptive daydreamers, then I'll probably have to dig deeper to figure out why exactly my brain does this.
|
|
|
Post by Sam on Apr 5, 2019 20:56:03 GMT
I've come to the conclusion that when I'm feeling strong (especially negative) emotions in real life, whether it be anxiety, sadness, disappointment, or anger, I often turn to daydreaming because it gives me the illusion of actually doing something with/about the emotion. Not only (for the reasons stated in my posts above) does daydreaming allow me to express my emotions, albeit indirectly, I also pace up and down the stairs in my house while daydreaming, which makes me feel like I'm going somewhere. Not physically, but its me feeling like I'm getting somewhere with the things that I'm feeling. I think its similar to the feeling that you might get when you're successfully processing your emotions in therapy. Not that daydreaming actually does that, but it makes me feel like it does that. Its my flight response kicking in. For example, I see something that makes me feel an emotion that I consider unpleasant; I don't want to feel that unpleasant emotion; so I get up to pace and daydream, fulfilling my brains desire to run away from the unpleasant emotion. I can't really get any more isolated in real life than I already am, and a lot of the emotions I feel I can't actually get rid of easily, so I retreat into daydreams, the only escape I have left from the unpleasant emotions.
You might think, "well if you're trying to escape from your unpleasant emotions, why would you bring them into your daydreams (the emotional transfer that this whole thread is about)?" The only explanation that I can come up with is that I have a hard time actually dealing with and processing emotions in real life. When I'm depressed or angry, I often can't confront the person or situation that's making me feel that way (because I either don't talk to them anymore or the situation happened in the past or future or is an accidental imaginal situation). When I'm feeling happy or excited, I don't have anyone to share those feelings with in real life (yes, I could text someone, but its not the same as actually having people right there with you, sharing your experience), so I start to daydream a situation where I do have people with my to share my happiness. The bottom line is that I have, for a multitude of reasons, a hard time expressing and processing my emotions in real life. When I feel an emotion, I can't do what I want to do about it in real life. So I daydream a situation where I can do what I want to do about the emotion.
Anyways, its been almost 4 months since I originally created this thread and I was just now thinking about the emotional thing as I was coming out of a daydream (I got stressed out while doing exposure therapy and wanted to vent my emotions in a daydream), so I thought I should add to it. My lack of ability to express and process my emotions in real life makes me feel out of control, and as someone who is most definitely a "control freak," I've learned that I can get that sense of control back by daydreaming. Even if it is just an illusion.
|
|
|
Post by lonewolf009 on Apr 7, 2019 9:46:10 GMT
I see my real self in some of my DDs too, and yes I do the same thing with transferring emotions although mine tends to go both ways instead of just one. For example, if I'm feeling depressed my character (or me) may be in a depressing situation as well. But then there are other times when while feeling lonely I imagined myself being surrounded by friends and ended up feeling happier irl, like I'm deluding myself that I have friends when I don't. It felt like a strained sort of happiness, kind of a desperation to be happy when I was horribly , and it was like I induced my own artificial happiness to replace the real one. It wasn't the best thing in the world, but last month it got me by and made me more capable of doing things than I could have been other wise. It was also distracting too but hey, better than nothing at all. It sounds to me from what I read that you walking up and down the stairs is probably better than having a bad depressive episode after a manic one. I also have the same migraine/headache problem with exercise and I know it can be frustrating because that leaves you with less alternatives. I think isolation probably brings out these sorts of things more, and like you said, texting isn't the same. But it's tough when there are other things preventing you from socializing, especially when the rest of the world doesn't understand what you go through. I just read in an article that those who ruminate and try to figure out their mental illnesses tend to be better at overcoming the issues caused by them, so perhaps you are on the right path. As for me, I try to keep a balance with indulging in my DDs because they help me in moments of desperation , but also making some effort to curb them so they don't get too out of control. That doesn't always go too well but it's good to try anyway. Just throwing this out there, but CBD helps with anxiety and depression, and also headaches. That is something that is currently helping me. If you can find ways to manage your health problem you'll have more control over your DDs and be less distressed by them,and maybe have less of a need to do them in the first place. I know it's tough though, there's no easy fix.
|
|
|
Post by Sam on Aug 1, 2019 2:31:53 GMT
I'm fucking screaming because I just wrote out a long post and it took forever and I was almost done and then my browser decided to stop responding so now its all gone.
I don't have the time or the patience to write everything out again but it basically all boiled down to this: I just had an epiphany about the emotional transfer thing that I do. I transfer my emotions and experiences to my daydreams because my daydreams feel more real than my real life.
When I feel an emotion in real life and it doesn't feel real, it makes me uncomfortable, so I transfer that emotion to a medium that does feel more real--daydreams.
I'm going to work on this by sitting with the original feeling and the accompanying discomfort from the unreality and hopefully over time this will not only help me sit with all of my experiences without daydreaming or running away from them, but will also make my real life feel more real to me. It probably feels less real because I've been spending most of my time in and transferring things to my daydreams for years. So, logically, if I practice feeling my emotions as much as I am capable in my real life, over time my real life will feel more real to me and I'll then feel less of an urge to transfer them to my daydreams.
|
|
Marcydel
Junior Daydreamer
Enter your message here...
|
Post by Marcydel on Aug 1, 2019 17:59:42 GMT
Not just idealized selves, the emotional transference thing is true for characters too. There‘s a famous set of articles all about MD being the embodiment of blunted emotional content and being spiraled into an addiction that I linked on here somewhere. I found it immensely impressive that you and other MDers figured this out on your own. I had to find out by reading about it on the Internet because, before that, I simply thought my MD just meant my brain chemistry was just messed up.
But yeah, MDers are normal people (on an emotional level), just with misplaced basic emotions, therefore a misplaced perspective. It’s been a year since my own similar epiphany moment and I still MD, I.e. basically still on square one. Probably because the steps I’ve taken to quit haven’t been drastic enough and, as a result, I’m still a turtle hiding in my shell.
I’m trying a different tactic now: I’m focusing on my fantasy addiction and split-second impulse to engage in MD BEFORE dealing with my emotions, because I found it almost impossible to try to deal with my real feelings while still partially blinded by the “safety net” of my MD, the pseudo-emotions/courage and feelings of high it awakes in me, and my heightened irritability probably caused by withdrawal. Will probably result in yet another failure if I don’t strengthen my will.
Probably a long road ahead for all of us, but I wish y’all luck. One thing that keeps me going is that once I overcome MD, I know for a fact I won’t miss it.
|
|
|
Post by kondiao on Aug 25, 2019 0:51:23 GMT
I'm fucking screaming because I just wrote out a long post and it took forever and I was almost done and then my browser decided to stop responding so now its all gone. I don't have the time or the patience to write everything out again but it basically all boiled down to this: I just had an epiphany about the emotional transfer thing that I do. I transfer my emotions and experiences to my daydreams because my daydreams feel more real than my real life. When I feel an emotion in real life and it doesn't feel real, it makes me uncomfortable, so I transfer that emotion to a medium that does feel more real--daydream I'm going to work on this by sitting with the original feeling and the accompanying discomfort from the unreality and hopefully over time this will not only help me sit with all of my experiences without daydreaming or running away from them, but will also make my real life feel more real to me. It probably feels less real because I've been spending most of my time in and transferring things to my daydreams for years. So, logically, if I practice feeling my emotions as much as I am capable in my real life, over time my real life will feel more real to me and I'll then feel less of an urge to transfer them to my daydreams. I have been reading over the things you have written about transferring emotions to the DD's and I am wondering if I do this. I know that when I was a child, after a hard day of being picked on and humiliated by teachers and siblings I would not be able to sleep at night and I would be just gone into my fantasy world. I would be re-playing movies in my head or being a cowboy or crusader hero and my older brothers or my mother would come and yell at me to stop making all that noise. I think that for me, as you have shared, the MaDD world was more real. In the real world of being a small child - and it seemed like the world blamed me for being born - that I was just doing time. I was biding my time until i would be big and free to act and competent. So the world that I ate and slept in and where I went to school was just a necessary, temporary imposition I had to put up with. I felt I was not supposed to be there or wanted. So, yes, the DD world was more real. Now, about emotions transferred to my DD characters I wonder if that was a safe way to express emotions that I was reluctant to feel in the real world. And now, in the hours before dawn, with very little sleep last night I am up because I am too angry at being unable to put myself to sleep by counting breaths and angry that the world seems to be set up to make me always unhappy; I am disappointed that the things I have been trying to take care of the last few days - running errands and trying to get some things going online - I have had so little success with. So I am ready to feel depressed that everything is so hard for me to figure out and harder to get done, while ordinary, normal people just do things as if they were normal and natural. And i am worried about all the things I have to take care of the next few days - if any one thing goes wrong then the whole plan could fall apart - and I have to go out there to face the world after only a couple hours of sleep last night, my brain not functioning optimally. So my urge to go into DD now - it is as easy as falling down the stairs; as natural as walking out into traffic without looking. I think you Sam, if I understand you correctly, would have me sit and feel my emotions now. Feeling, revolted, disgusted, rejected, shamed. For most of my long life I have felt that I could have made something of myself if the world had not been so against me, if I was appreciated for my abilities and supported. I projected a lot of my failure onto the world - how they cheated me and let me down, though I - mostly - always followed the rules and did everything the best I could. And right now, when I wish I was asleep, getting the last hours of dreaming in before the day starts, I am sitting feeling emotions. It ain't much fun.
|
|
|
Post by Sam on Aug 25, 2019 3:34:16 GMT
I have been reading over the things you have written about transferring emotions to the DD's and I am wondering if I do this. I know that when I was a child, after a hard day of being picked on and humiliated by teachers and siblings I would not be able to sleep at night and I would be just gone into my fantasy world. I would be re-playing movies in my head or being a cowboy or crusader hero and my older brothers or my mother would come and yell at me to stop making all that noise. I think that for me, as you have shared, the MaDD world was more real. In the real world of being a small child - and it seemed like the world blamed me for being born - that I was just doing time. I was biding my time until i would be big and free to act and competent. So the world that I ate and slept in and where I went to school was just a necessary, temporary imposition I had to put up with. I felt I was not supposed to be there or wanted. So, yes, the DD world was more real. Now, thinking about emotions transferred to my DD characters I wonder if that was a safe way to express emotions that I was reluctant to feel in the real world. And now, in the hours before dawn, with very little sleep last night I am up because I am too angry at being unable to put myself to sleep by counting breaths and angry that the world seems to be set up to make me always unhappy; I am disappointed that the things I have been trying to take care of the last few days - running errands and trying to get some things going online - I have had so little success with. So I am ready to feel depressed that everything is so hard for me to figure out and harder to get done, while ordinary, normal people just do things as if they were normal and natural. And i am worried about all the things I have to take care of the next few days - if any one thing goes wrong then the whole plan could fall apart - and I have to go out there to face the world after only a couple hours of sleep last night, my brain not functioning optimally. So my urge to go into DD now - it is as easy as falling down the stairs; as natural as walking out into traffic without looking. I think you Sam, if I understand you correctly, would have me sit and feel my emotions now. Feeling, revolted, disgusted, rejected, shamed. For most of my long life I have felt that I could have made something of myself if the world had not been so against me, if I was appreciated for my abilities and supported. I projected a lot of my failure onto the world - how they cheated me and let me down, though I - mostly - always followed the rules and did everything the best I could. And right now, when I wish I was asleep, getting the last hours of dreaming in before the day starts, I am sitting feeling emotions. It ain't much fun. I agree with you--sitting with your emotions is unpleasant and uncomfortable as hell. Especially if you're used to hiding from them by daydreaming (even if you transfer you're emotions to your daydreams, you're still technically hiding from experiencing them in real life). I've been practicing for months now and its still hard. I still end up falling into daydreams more times than not. But, for me at least, I think that its worth it. Being able to sit with my emotions does two things: it helps me actually deal with them in real life, which is where they need to be dealt with, and it gives me a sense of accomplishment because I did something that was really difficult and uncomfortable, but incredibly important. Insomnia sucks, too. I luckily don't get it very often anymore, but when I do it generally knocks me for a loop. I can't shut my brain down, so I can't sleep, which makes me anxious and angry, which makes my brain even more awake, and its even harder to fall asleep. Addressing any underlying issues for your insomnia(environment, routine, or health issues) is a good thing, but I've found that when I'm experiencing insomnia despite my best efforts and I start getting caught in the worry loop of "oh my god, I can't sleep, I'm never going to be able to sleep and then I won't be able to function," there's a... mantra of sorts, that helps. I found it in a headspace article months ago and it generally seems to help me calm down. If you notice your brain doing down into a worry loop, you say "Oh, you again. You're just my brain trying to trick me. But I recognize you, and that gives me the power to dismiss you and to tell myself that everything is going to be okay." I can't promise that it'll work for you, but I've found it to be pretty effective personally. As for feeling like the world is against you, I think that its understandable that you think that way. From what you've written, I think that that was a feeling that you probably grew up with (and that its understandable that you grew up with it considering your environment) and as such, its very ingrained into your psyche. Beliefs that we gained when we were children are the hardest to change or let go of. MY words are kind of failing me right now, so please forgive me if this sounds... terrible or offensive. I understand that that is a feeling that you grew up with. But I don't think that its one that's still serving you well in your adulthood. A "me against the world" mentality, however accurate it may feel to you, isn't generally a good one. When you think that its just you against the world, you're more likely to reject help or support when its offered and to take the view that people aren't genuine in their kindness and compassion toward you. You're for all intents and purposes, setting yourself up for failure because even if it isn't accurate, you're expecting everyone and everything to be an obstacle in your path, instead of a potential source of help or a learning experience. I don't know, I'm not a psychologist so I'm not really qualified to talk about the intricacies of that stuff and feel free to completely disregard my advice. You mentioned in the chat that you were thinking about healing your inner child. I think that, for you, that path shows great promise. I've done a few exercises like that in the past, and I think that they really do help heal some of the hurt and pain in your heart. If you can, I would recommend talking with an actual therapist about it, since working with trauma is very emotionally taxing and is generally best done with professional help. I think that its important for you to understand that you are supported and appreciated. Even if its just by other people on this forum, that's still more than none. Feeling like its you against the world is a really hard thing to deal with, I know that from personal experience. But its not just you against the world. You have support, even if its not super obvious or easy for you to recognize (when you grow up feeling like no one supports you, it makes it that much harder for you to recognize support when you are given it in adulthood).
|
|
|
Post by kondiao on Aug 26, 2019 15:03:04 GMT
Thanks Sam. Let me say first in response to please do not hesitate to say anything to me that you think might be of help. I will not take offense and I will use everything that seems to work for me and disregard anything that I don't relate to.
You know, as far as being a loner, I have just started to realize than I have had the strong, silent type, the rugged cowboy image as an ideal most of my life. And it has not worked - I have been in situations where I believed I was the only one who really knew what was going on and if no one else would go along with me - or recognize how valuable I was - then screw them and I would do my own thing, and show them. And I came up short many times. I have not been all that competent or resourceful, or successful on my own. Today I could look back and see that if I had hung in some times, with the awkwardness and discomfort, with people that maybe did not come up to my standards, then maybe things would have worked out better for everyone. If I had looked for the support and seen the positives that people had to offer and not the rejection.
I have been consciously trying to sit with the present lately and experience even the weird feeling, like WTF am I doing here anyway, and trying to live with the situation I am in. But I keep on going out and I come back and keep going through these cycles.
Yesterday, when I came back to my crib I happened to think about a scene, years ago, at an AA meeting. A new-comer - maybe he was sent by the court to get sober - was sounding off - like what you have been saying to me here - bitching at the people rejecting him when I could see that they in fact were relating his problems and offering to support him going through what he had to go through. So yesterday I acted out as I were back there, back then, yelling at this fool to shut about something he did not know anything about.... I mean I was walking around gesturing as if I were going to smack him, talking in a strangled voice, not loud enough, I hope, that people could hear me. I went through that twice. And had to stop and let me heart slow down and wonder why did I just do that. What feeling drove me down into such a state of rage?
I mean what was it about this guy that I recognized and hated so much? And what triggered it yesterday? Well now I sit with the feeling and let it happen. Maybe I will not figure things out but I have hope that I will go through the process instead of escaping into fantasy.
I am glad to have found this forum, and still astonished that there are others out there with this DD problem. I will take all the support I can get and I hope I can contribute.
|
|
biancaj
New Daydreamer
english is not my first language, please forgive my mistakes
|
Post by biancaj on Sept 16, 2019 20:01:25 GMT
I would even say that, personally, I started using daydreaming as a conduit for all of the emotions that I should be feeling in real life, but for whatever reason I deny myself. Obviously, when you start feeling an emotion, most people either express it or repress it. Both of those options have their good sides and bad sides. But something that I've noticed is that I, having maladaptive daydreaming, tend to shift any and all emotions that real life-me is feeling onto alternate-me. Alternate-me is generally much better at dealing with or letting go emotions than real life-me is. And while I understand why I do it for emotions that I consider to be unpleasant (such as grief, fear, anger, or sadness), why I do it with pleasant, positive ones is somewhat of a mystery. Being disconnected with real people and having the internet be my main form of communication has cut me off from the experiences of the real world, which I'm sure has just made it that much more easy for me to slip into daydreaming instead of experiencing life to the fullest. Has anyone else felt something similar? The emotional transfer is probably more prevalent in daydreamers whose characters are idealized versions of themselves, but I can't imagine that I'm the only one who experiences this. no, you are not the only one who experiences this. But I may know why I repress pleasant emotions as well as negative ones: It was somehow "forbidden" in my household to express themselves in an exaggerated manner, was it crying, screaming as well as laughing, hugging and jumping. when I was a child I was energetic and affectionate, and I wanted to show my affection as well as my pain. if I would cry in pain, my parent would scold me (and rarely beat me) no question asked. If I would loudly laugh or hug people, they (but mostly my mother) would prevent me because that is not how a girl behave. I get that they had their reasons, I'm not blaming their parenting, plus they had a worse childhood than mine, but I grow up that my emotions, and therefore myself, were wrong. negative and positive emotions: all equally wrong. you said "I started using daydreaming as a conduit for all of the emotions that I should be feeling in real life, but for whatever reason I deny myself." I feel the same: my characters are free to feel, but also, in my case, they know how to behave to make my real life parents proud. I craft them to be "perfect": they don't behave like I would, they have some sort of prude balance when showing emotions, they could be considered examples of appropriate behavior, therefore they are extremely respected in their made-up society, everything goes well to them, their jobs, their relationships, their neighbors etc... that, coincidentally, is exactly what my parents where teaching me: you will be loved IF you "feel" and approach the world in a certain way, which, coincidentally, was never my way. An example: my uncle liked to beat me, pinch me and create offensive nicknames to use in front of visitors and friends, he really loved that kind of fun. When I told my mother that I didn't like it, she said "these are manifestations of affection, don't take too much of it and don't spoil parties. Or else we will not go to the beach" (my uncle was the owner of the beach house and apparently the owner of all the beaches). But I wanted to go to the beach, I loved my uncle and I couldn't believe that he was a bad person and a bully, so... I had to be the wrong one I think that some of my MDD simply represent a way to make a catharsis of my failed attempt to fit into society, they could go under the topic "how I should have been"
|
|
biancaj
New Daydreamer
english is not my first language, please forgive my mistakes
|
Post by biancaj on Sept 16, 2019 20:51:22 GMT
and it seemed like the world blamed me for being born Years ago, I told those exact word to my therapist, and she suggested that I should ask to my mother how she felt and what she thought the day she knew she was pregnant with me (I am her 1st child, she was 24). Well, not surprisingly she told me, with a wave of resentment, that she was annoyed at being already pregnant, that it would have been better to wait a while. Idk why I'm telling this, it's not actually related with your post, but it helped me a lot to understand that I was right, that I was not delusional and crazy, but sure as hell for a child is way better to create a world where she feels loved and welcome, and I did everything I could to make that fictitious world seem more real than the real one
|
|
biancaj
New Daydreamer
english is not my first language, please forgive my mistakes
|
Post by biancaj on Sept 16, 2019 21:02:23 GMT
dear Sam, you are so well spoken! your words are kind and sweet! And you are so right!!! thank you! I was about to forgot that I'm here to understand my problems and to heal, and not to recriminate
|
|
|
Post by katie on Sept 16, 2019 21:14:13 GMT
I tired to sit with my emotions today and I ended up crying so I started to daydream when my mind got that far. Its going to be a long road trying to ease negative emotions when I am not use to doing so plus my mind defends itself by daydreaming automatically when something is wrong with my and if I can't daydream if I am around people I zone out. Plus I have my mental health issues to deal with if it gets too much so I may wait and see what my psychotherapist says this Friday when I talk it out.
I rather talk out to someone about how I am feeling rather than sitting with my feeling but I am sure not able to deal with them on my own is a bad thing.
|
|