Post by thedolphinbaby57 on Dec 14, 2020 22:34:19 GMT
In my experience, trying to tell someone about my MD never really worked or came across as I hoped it would. Maladaptive Daydreaming is very hard to describe to non mders and I feel like if I tell someone what MD is they'll either think I'm insane or just tell me the ol' classic "EvErYBoDy dAYdReaMs So You'Re fINE." There will be a mixture of responses and to be honest I think it will just be brushed to the side and forgot about and no one notices. It's just never been the best experience to me. I try to tell some of my closest friends but I think they just don't understand and just think "oh she just spaces out a lot nothing new". I never even told my parents not one bit about it. Oh well. It's good that you have someone you trust..but still have them look at some websites and articles and videos about the thing so they can get a better understanding of it. It may help.
I told one therapist about it. He asked me several questions. I really hadn't analyzed my MD enough to give him good answers. He basically just glossed over the whole thing and focused on his forte which was ADHD/ADD.
I have a real beef with ADHD/ADD. It may be a real thing for some people. But blaming my condition on something that I was born with ignores the way I felt as a child, and the subsequent C-PTSD that I think I got from it. I was diagnosed with ADD once; took Ritalin; it didn't help. End of story. Don't tell me i have ADD!
I think if you're going to tell a therapist about it, you should journal about your daydreams first, so you have enough information to give them. (really... that's the therapist job: to tell you to journal) And print out some info about it from the web, so they can see it’s a real thing.
I did let my husband and mother know about five years ago. I posted an entry on my blog about how I did it and how it was received. In the end, I did feel better and though they might not have really understood, they listened and accepted. I also told a co-worker once who was showing signs that he had maladaptive daydreaming traits, that he might want to look into it (since I had) and when I described what MD was, with each symptom and description his eyes widened and said, "That IS me!" We weren't close, and I think that's why I felt comfortable to tell him because it's not like he could say anything to people I knew, and since I understood what a private disorder this is, just my telling him made him feel like he wasn't alone.
It's not like these things made it better for me and the people I told, or that I daydreamed less. It's more like a weight taken off my shoulders that I no longer needed to lie or hide something about what I was doing.
Post by confesseddaydreamer on Jan 19, 2021 14:48:51 GMT
I told my husband 3 days ago and all I can say this is the biggest relief a ever experienced. The only think I cannot do is letting him see me while I'm doing it. if I'll be able ever to do this. But I also thinks that he doesn't need to see this as its very personal (like going to the toilet for example). Now when he is at home he always make sure I can hear him coming so I can stop doing it before he enters the room.
During my teen years when the MDD was the most consuming (this was back in the 1970s!) I would have died before telling a soul! I don't know how my mother didn't realize something was up with me spending hours in my rocking chair with music playing. I felt certain that I was a the only person in the whole world with this problem.
Most of my adult years i have not struggled with it, but a year ago when i started having problems with it again, I told my two best friends, and while they didn't understand the maladaptiveness, they were sympathetic. My husband and adult daughters know and they are also supportive. One of my daughters has a similiar problem, so it makes me wonder if there is a genetic component in the brain. While she was growing up I had no problem with it at all so it's not like she witnessed it.
I have made a lot of progress and the majority of the time I keep the daydreaming in some boundaries, but I'm going to talk to a therapist . I sent her some information about it so we will see how it goes. I want therapy to try to dig more into why do I do this?
Post by confesseddaydreamer on Jan 20, 2021 9:51:37 GMT
JusPlainMe what you said really resonated with me. I used to spend a lot more time during my teen years. Now I do it a lot but differently. I don't lock myself in my room with music for hours, but I do it when my husband is not at home. My triggers are not juts music like I was a teen, now its everything. It could be something a read, or something a listen in the news, a message from a friend... I also thought that I would never tell any person, but now that my husband knows I feel incredible well.
My husband and I are trying to have kids so my fear is that I wont' be able to mind them properly if I need to do this (I wouldn't do it in front of them). it gives me hope to see that this was not a problem for you
I know for sure that my mother and younger brother do it as well, not because they told me but because I have seen them several times. I remember seeing my mother doing it and I remember my mother spending time doing this in her room with no lights and loud music. This is how I started doing it, in her room with no lights and loud music. For a while I also though that it was genetic but now I don't think so. I can clearly see that my need to go to fantasy is due to a lack of love and attention during my childhood. In my daydream I get the attention I need. So the problem I have is my vanity, my need of being special for others. Is like I cannot see myself valuable for who I'm but for what people think about me. The way I found to treat this issue is with Gestalt therapy. My therapist wouldn't talk about the issue, she goes straight to my need of being special.
What I'm doing now is allowing myself to daydream freely and once I'm done I sit down to think why did I go today to the fantasy, what feelings did I experience during the fantasy and How do I feel after it. I'm just trying to analyse why do I need to do it. Meditation and reiki are mindfulness activities that keep me away of MD and I will start with yoga kundalini today and see how it goes.
I’ve never told anyone.. somehow I want to because hiding it is hard. But I’m afraid of their reactions I guess they won’t understand. I don’t know anyone who has MD and I guess they won’t understand me.
I could never talk to my family about MD. I can’t even talk to them about normal things so.., And my friends wouldn’t understand me. They’d think I’m weird. I love them all but I can’t talk to them about my problems.
But maybe I’m the problem and I just think the wouldn’t understand me..
I've tried... I tried to tell my mum and she said oh I daydream. I said to my partner once, I told him I daydream I can get lost for hours, I could tell he didn't know what I was on about... I didn't tell him I play out the daydream sometimes out of fear of how he would take it... So it's something I've kept to myself. So wierd I have this whole world in my head that no one knows about....
I guess I've told my grandma about it enough that she knows I've got this whole other daydreamt universe that I've incrementally built up over time, what she called "your world" when she was talking to me one time.
I get really frustrated, because no one (no one real that is) ever wants to or even has a way of exploring this world I've created in a way that feels like they truly appreciate it from a creative standpoint. I come from sort of a Hollywood family. We're all writers and whatnot (I know the guy that wrote the original screenplay for 'This Is The End', and two of my family members worked on 'At First Light') so I have for a long time chaulked it all up to my 'method' of fiction creation, my hope being that one day I can communicate what I love most about my world.
Post by nucleardreamplant on Apr 7, 2021 10:33:17 GMT
Something that MIGHT help: Tell a friend/family member who has been struggeling with mental health or at least has some experience with it. I know it's really hard. But a few weeks ago, I told my sister about it. She is recently recovering from a strong depression and as I told her, she said that I should start to act as soon as I can and attend a therapy. Ok, at the beginning, we had this classic problem, that she didn't really get it and thought MD was harmless. But later I have shown her some of the websides and articles about MD, and I think that was when she really started to understand it. Now I can talk with her about it freely, she even offered to help me with telling my mother about it( I am still afraid of my mothers reaction!). But my point is that people with experience might know about the dangers of getting misunderstood or ignored. Some of them, like my sister, also try to prevent others from the same problem(s) that they were suffering from. OK, not everyone is like my sister and I have imagined hundreds of ways about how it could go wrong, but it ended up better than I expected it.
I've joked about it with my friends before because the way we cope with our problems is with humor. The only one I've ever had a serious talk about it though is with my former roommate because we both MD. My other friends kind of get it but not really? They just think it's a regular daydream that I can turn on and off at will. But like they don't get the urgent NEED to MD.
I think if you're about telling people, just know who you're telling it to. You know the people in your life better than I do.