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Post by emily on Jun 28, 2019 15:50:50 GMT
Hello fellow Maladaptive Daydreamers I am grappling with a question at the moment and would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this. From what I can gather, from reading people's accounts of MD (and from my own experience), many MD'ers seem to have created an ideal version of themselves in their fantasy world. Over time this 'imagined self' lives an extensive and detailed life in the fantasy world, very similar to how a real person would live their life in the real world, with close relationships, the usual everyday scenarios, careers, achievements ect. Regardless of how similar this imagined self is to your real self, it appears nevertheless to be a separate entity. And because so much time is spent in the fantasy world, 'living out' the experiences of this imagined self, it seems reasonable to assume that over time your sense of self and personal identity would be somehow affected. Do you agree? Do you feel that your fantasy world has affected your sense of self? And how do you think your sense of self would be affected if you stopped daydreaming? Looking forward to replies!  |
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Post by katie on Jun 28, 2019 21:36:49 GMT
Yes I do agree I didn't know who I was meant to be without my daydreaming I got so upset by this. I am trying to stop daydreaming and have strategies to help since then I have been picking up hobbies and living my life as much as possible. It has brought out so much of my personality too cause I only know so my of who my characters were it like my personality was was affected. I had to work on those as silly as it sounds working on bring out who I really am and trying not to let my issues besides MD bring me down.
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Post by emily on Jun 29, 2019 15:35:20 GMT
Thanks Katie, Do you know why you felt as though you didn't know who you were meant to be without MD? Do you know how you reached that stage? I think you are right, trying to live a real life as much as possible will definitely help to figure out and define who you are. I'm hoping your new hobbies and strategies are working out well |
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Post by katie on Jun 29, 2019 19:40:25 GMT
Thanks Katie, Do you know why you felt as though you didn't know who you were meant to be without MD? Do you know how you reached that stage? I think you are right, trying to live a real life as much as possible will definitely help to figure out and define who you are. I'm hoping your new hobbies and strategies are working out well :) I was just existing in the real world and whenever I was around people I would never know what to talk about and let me sense of humor out and show them who I am. I am nearly 30 and scared of what was going to become of my life walk up and down in my room daydreaming all the time. Thanks so far so good anyway. |
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yasmine
Active Daydreamer
i see mdd as a gift but i want to reduce it cause it starts looking like a curse
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Post by yasmine on Jun 30, 2019 20:13:19 GMT
Hello fellow Maladaptive Daydreamers I am grappling with a question at the moment and would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this. From what I can gather, from reading people's accounts of MD (and from my own experience), many MD'ers seem to have created an ideal version of themselves in their fantasy world. Over time this 'imagined self' lives an extensive and detailed life in the fantasy world, very similar to how a real person would live their life in the real world, with close relationships, the usual everyday scenarios, careers, achievements ect. Regardless of how similar this imagined self is to your real self, it appears nevertheless to be a separate entity. And because so much time is spent in the fantasy world, 'living out' the experiences of this imagined self, it seems reasonable to assume that over time your sense of self and personal identity would be somehow affected. Do you agree? Do you feel that your fantasy world has affected your sense of self? And how do you think your sense of self would be affected if you stopped daydreaming? Looking forward to replies! well yes they have but not all my dreams are buildt around a fictional me, i have some were i am just the viewing friend. and the world that are based of me just have an better story or family but the same behaviors and way of  as me. so they change how i see my life but not so much of how i see me. but those two have a lot in common. so yes sometimes they do but not significantly at all |
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Post by madamebovary on Jul 1, 2019 11:24:39 GMT
I agree very much. I am waiting around for my life to begin, and in my head I live out who I wished I would wake up to be tomorrow. Not all my daydreams are centered around myself (and for those that are, it is of course not really "myself"), but the fictional characters I also dream about are just projections of the same ideal. I didn't live through tragic experiences that kickstarted the escapism, so I don't know why I am like this. But i have spent 23 years not aknowledging and forming who I am, but instead fleeing from her. So if I give up daydreaming, there is no one to return to. No "me" to live my acutal life.
I guess that is what makes it hard to give up daydreaming. I would have to do the hard work of accepting who I am and then try to interact with the real world, having to make all the mistakes to grown from and shape a sense of self, a journey that my peers began long ago, and I am so far behind. It seems so unpleasant to live a life as me. That being said, I do want to quit daydreaming, I am just scared and not really the person to ever take action.
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Post by emily on Jul 2, 2019 20:50:36 GMT
Hi Yasmine Thanks for your reply. Yes, I am also intrigued by those who observe stories in their heads, rather than participate in it as a version of themselves. Especially as I can't relate to this myself. Can I ask you; do the plots in your daydreams ever affect or interfere with your real-life aspirations, plans, desires, passions etc? Say you daydream about (either you or a character) having a particular job or hobby, do you then fancy doing it in real life? |
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Post by Sam on Jul 2, 2019 21:24:59 GMT
Hi Yasmine Thanks for your reply. Yes, I am also intrigued by those who observe stories in their heads, rather than participate in it as a version of themselves. Especially as I can't relate to this myself. Can I ask you; do the plots in your daydreams ever affect or interfere with your real-life aspirations, plans, desires, passions etc? Say you daydream about (either you or a character) having a particular job or hobby, do you then fancy doing it in real life? :) There's actually a thread about this here. Generally, most of us are too busy daydreaming about the bigger things (a different job or hobby, like you mentioned) to actually do those bigger things in real life, but there's no reason why someone couldn't use their daydreams to inspire changes in their real life. |
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Post by emily on Jul 2, 2019 22:50:15 GMT
Hi Sam Thanks for the link! I can definitely relate to what you say. Both in terms of the time spent daydreaming instead of reaching real-life goals and also how the daydreams can inspire a new outlook on life and new interests |
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Post by emily on Jul 2, 2019 22:55:59 GMT
Hi Madamebovary Thank you so much for your reply. I got emotional reading it, you have described MD in such a beautiful and poetic way. |
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Post by james on Jul 3, 2019 17:16:58 GMT
Madamebovary hi
I wish you the best
I hope for you
Due to a recent medical scare my 40+ inner MD world totally collapsed , I cannot access my DD and if I do I feel guilty about starting it in the first place
So now I live with terror, headache and nightmares as I I’m literally not a person
I had all the symptoms, DD , twitching fingers, faraway look , desperate to find DD time and frustrated if I was disturbed
Childhood trauma began it (DD) and by hell did I indulge but beware facing your worst anxiety as this is what caused the total collapse of the shop front
That said , I get some small comfort speaking here
All the very best James
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Post by madamebovary on Jul 6, 2019 16:19:00 GMT
Madamebovary hi I wish you the best I hope for you Due to a recent medical scare my 40+ inner MD world totally collapsed , I cannot access my DD and if I do I feel guilty about starting it in the first place So now I live with terror, headache and nightmares as I I’m literally not a person I had all the symptoms, DD , twitching fingers, faraway look , desperate to find DD time and frustrated if I was disturbed Childhood trauma began it (DD) and by hell did I indulge but beware facing your worst anxiety as this is what caused the total collapse of the shop front That said , I get some small comfort speaking here All the very best James Hi James, I am sorry to hear about your medical scare, I hope you are all right. I know about the feeling of guilt from engaging in a DD, and from my experience, it is useful if you voluntarily want to quit daydreaming. But what you are left with without daydreaming is scary and lonely. I have personally always retreated into the daydreams again, like the scaredy cat I am I haven't experienced the total collapse you are going through. Have you read Eretaia's famous posts on curing MD? (https://wildminds.ning.com/forum/topics/yes-you-can-cure-yourself-from-maladaptive-daydreaming) She wrote about how MD is a (too) effective distraction from feelings of depression and anxiety etc. If that is the case, we all have to work through those feelings if we want to quit daydreaming, and more importantly, if we want a life where we feel content and have a sense of self. I seems like you have been thrown head first out of your daydreams and into despression, though, without the opportunity to make the choice yourself. Have you spoken to a professional about your childhood trauma? It sounds serious. I wish you the best too!
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Post by sarah on Jul 8, 2019 6:40:49 GMT
When I dd I also have the ability to dissociate from my identity to that of my characters in my mind. This allows me to mentally change certain things that make up my identity such as gender personality etc to that of the characters I'm pretending to be. Sort of like a vacation from being me while Im dding. I'm sort of bored being me with 1 gender 1 personality living in 1 location year after year but when Im dding I can be who ever I want to be.
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Post by itazmia on Nov 16, 2019 19:50:37 GMT
Hello James, Im interested in that you said you have twiching fingers - i also have twitches but after daydreaming. When you were daydreaming did you get twitches after day dreaming? Madamebovary hi I wish you the best I hope for you Due to a recent medical scare my 40+ inner MD world totally collapsed , I cannot access my DD and if I do I feel guilty about starting it in the first place So now I live with terror, headache and nightmares as I I’m literally not a person I had all the symptoms, DD , twitching fingers, faraway look , desperate to find DD time and frustrated if I was disturbed Childhood trauma began it (DD) and by hell did I indulge but beware facing your worst anxiety as this is what caused the total collapse of the shop front That said , I get some small comfort speaking here All the very best James |
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Post by james on Dec 12, 2019 16:54:47 GMT
Hello James, Im interested in that you said you have twiching fingers - i also have twitches but after daydreaming. When you were daydreaming did you get twitches after day dreaming? Madamebovary hi I wish you the best I hope for you Due to a recent medical scare my 40+ inner MD world totally collapsed , I cannot access my DD and if I do I feel guilty about starting it in the first place So now I live with terror, headache and nightmares as I I’m literally not a person I had all the symptoms, DD , twitching fingers, faraway look , desperate to find DD time and frustrated if I was disturbed Childhood trauma began it (DD) and by hell did I indulge but beware facing your worst anxiety as this is what caused the total collapse of the shop front That said , I get some small comfort speaking here All the very best James |
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as me. so they change how i see my life but not so much of how i see me. but those two have a lot in common. so yes sometimes they do but not significantly at all
