Welcome! and Moderator Introductions

I usually go by what story you and your characters are on the most and what your para means to you. Mine right now is that I have to try new things to not relapse back to her as I am always thinking she is doing much better than me so its like I am trying to compete with her. But try not dwell on it see what you have giving your that is in common and see if you can start using that with the people around you and what makes you go back to your daydreaming. Sometimes I need to be rescued out of mine and then other times I give myself a break and see what it mean to me or if relates to some part of your life that you are still trying to figure out. I started to try new things but it takes time now with covid19 Its so difficult now not to daydream but if you have responsibilities it makes it easier not to daydream when you busy.  

Hi . I am Anne from Canada . Just found out about Theo line community for Maladaptive day dreaming . Has been suffering from this since childhood . Have tried a lot of times to get rid of it and have been successful for short time . But unfortunately it returns as soon as something bad unexpected happens in real life . Sometimes I feel this is the reason I have been managing all issues in my real life well without breaking down . But the other moment it feels like maladaptive DD is taking me from real me . DD increases multiple folds when I am at home most of the time unoccupied. And now I am in such situation again , there are lots to do prepare myself for next opportunity but then I have started wasting time with this . So once for all need help and suggestions from all of you who has gone through this to get rid of this . We all are together in this !! Thanks

Hi everyone, nice to meet you all. I'm back to this forum for the second time. I discovered it about a year ago when I was going through a particularly intensive period of MD, and it really helped to put things in perspective. Over the past year a lot of stuff has happened, but long story short I put in place a lot of life hacks - gratitude, Motiversity videos, yoga, philosophy, journalling, meditation, positive affirmations, and carving out space for self-care - and I managed to escape MD for the first time ever. I still had the occasional bouts of MD, but the intensity was drastically lessened and I found myself living more mindfully and in the present. I've had a bit of a relapse over the past while however, and literally have spent the past three days completely disassociated from reality, immersed in a new MD whose vividness and power is incredible. I'm trying to snap back out of it at the moment. I don't think it's ever possible to get rid of MD - and to be honest, I don't want to - but I do want to control it rather than it controlling me. Sending lots of love out to those on their own MD journeys.

Hi iam 18 i have maladaptive daydreaming since i was 10 i found it hard to express my self in real life because pepole always bullied me now i fell like a mess
No friends ,social anxiety,can't complete simple tasks or have a clear thoughts i wanna change but i don't know from where i can get started

this is exactly what i've been/am going through. i also don't know how to feel because it really is a safe haven and i don't want to stop watching anime. i didn't realize how serious it was until recently when it's interfered with my real relationships, work, and school. it's nice to know that someone else really get it

Hello everyone. My name is Antaeus, im 27 and I am a Captain, sailing around the world. From any moment I can remember myself, I was always running around in a circle round the furniture or going up and about in the house, day dreaming. I still do it to this day, in my cabin.

In my dreams pretty much the same story plays out with characters that are constantly evolving, its about war, a battle, sacrifice, a last stand. A noble death. When I dream, even though I don't lose sense of reality (ie I will stop if I see someone else) it becomes so intense I will probably shed some tears or feel exhausted after just a couple hours of running around the house. Everything is so close to reality that it mutes my desire from something else. My strongest triggers to this day is cinematic music, e.g. Hans Zimmer. I daydream excessively when I feel I need to wait something out, ie until I disembark from the ship.

I don't have to do it on a daily basis but I feel joy and fullfilness after I daydream thus I tend to do it quite often. And sometimes If I don't I become extremely lazy, even though I have a ridiculous work ethic that will make my stay awake for days to make sure I get things done - though I wouldn't need to put all this pressure on myself just to finish routine work. Not everything has to be hard in life. At the same time I am not satisfied with what I have, even though its a lot compared the majority, and I started with nothing, I never rest, trying to find ways to create a solid business when I am off duty for vacations. My friends and colleagues look up to me, because of how active I am, but the reality is I am neither a prophet or prodigy, I haven't really achieved anything of value, apart from being completely independent since I am 18. And it's been almost 9 years from that date. And I feel I am not really doing any actual progress in life from what I have had in my mind as reference when I was younger.

I had a relatively hard upbringing with a bipolar mother, so maybe this was a defense mechanism I developed to cope. It has allowed me to get past a lot of things, the academy, the ship, lunatic captains etc. and I pretty much believe it can get me through anything. I was also bullied a lot when I was younger, didn't really have the emotional intelligence, neither the looks, to maintain my social respect. But the problem is, maybe because of all those dreams I feel the insatiable desire to sacrifice myself and I am pretty much living between the contrast of serving in the Foreign Legion and continuing to live a life chasing vanity, where enough is never enough. A life onboard is pretty much the middle ground between those two, with even pirate attacks and life-death decisions, though I start to want more and more intense experiences. Everything else is dull, muted.

As for relationships, well, I never had any. Had some pretty interesting encounters on my solo trips around the world, mostly with older women. A lot of brief encounters. I always admired as how even in a few days fling my date would talk things that require extreme intimacy - rape cases, being an ex-prostitute etc. I would open up as well and literally would feel love for the brief of that encounter. For me love is willing to die for somebody else. Sometimes I would say it, even though it was too early and was termed as something not really meant. But I did mean it, for that brief amount of time.

I was always attracted to women considered "ruined" - I felt the need to help and accept them and this would even create sexual tension. And sex was always never that interesting after a few times with the same person, unless feelings or a circumstance (like a fight or general sadness) that elevated those emotions. I have a very bad relationship with my mother, I don't consider her part of my family but I don't hold any grudge. Whenever we talk I treat her like a patient and just listen to what she has to say and say what she wants to hear.

If I daydream about somebody of the opposite sex, I will immediately go through our entire lifetimes in a matter of hours and thus end up dis-interested in the end. Unless of course I feel that that person is not granted. I feel extreme empathy especially to people that I train, as my cadets on the ship, considering them family even in a few months. Because of that, sometimes I became rough with them, wanting to make them better than me, not just better officers but better persons. I get affected when they become angry or they don't perform to the expected level, I shouldn't get that attached to fellow crew. After all, they are a form of colleagues, it is not like in the military. Nobody is going to die for somebody else here, at least the majority of crew are like civilians.

I have tried modafinil in the past, the only actual result was enchasing excitement and clouding my judgement. I have also used ecstacy with a person I was intimate and I never had a more intense experience, emotionally wise. I felt like everything I was going to say was the right thing, there was not pressure on anything.

I can see that my situation is prone to abuses - if I start playing an online game, I can literally dedicate days of my life to something that is completely and utterly useless. A workaround I found is to just play a few days on vacation and then completely delete everything until next year. Porn is a similar case, used to be addicted as a teen and later on, due to the nature of the ship not having any women for 6-8months at a time, it becomes a necessity. Even when being off from the ship, and an encounter is very likely scenario, I would sometimes skip it or become disinterested during the encounter.

I also feel a lot of social anxiety - which is inexplicable to me as I have even worked as a journalist during my studies, always having a facade of a confident successful person but I would always, even to this day, feel anxiety for simple things like cold calling someone. or talking to a girl. Things I have done, literally, thousands of times.

In the end, I cant decide what I want, do I really want that noble death? then there is no prospect of family, it would be immoral. At the same time, there is no actual relationship that can lead to that. So its a standstill. Life goes on by itself. And I want this to stop, I want to be in charge of myself as I am liable for my actions. Is MDD giving me a false pretense on what to follow, should I do what my heart says and live a life of glory and duty, or are those dreams something that is not going to make me feel complete at all?

Questions like that all the time... glad to have found this community.

Do you ever feel an elevated sense of duty and self-sacrifice?