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Day One
Oct 26, 2019 18:50:19 GMT
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Post by serenity on Oct 26, 2019 18:50:19 GMT
Hey all. I'm trying to stay outside of my head, today. It's been one whole day, without MDD. It's tough. I've found myself consciously 'No!' when I've felt myself withdrawing. I'm very panicky, admittedly. Thoughts such as 'who am I?' without my MDD self. Given the time I've been experiencing MDD, another anxiety relates to leaving behind the volume of 'experiences' I've had. Despite never having had them. Another part is the (false) feeling of abandoning 'people' who've been with me for years. I'll admit, there is a lot of internal conflict. But, in pushing through. I think a glass of red and 'The Man From Earth' (my comfort food movie), then an early night. Just worried about actually going to bed, as that's where I tend to immerse myself deepest, as a means of dropping off. Oh well. Good this far. If you are reading this, thoughts would be welcome. I guess just keeping a diary here will serve to keep ne on a straight line. Be well, all.
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Day One
Nov 25, 2019 8:22:24 GMT
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Post by fellowmder on Nov 25, 2019 8:22:24 GMT
Really awesome. Proud to have you here. Congratulations!! Keep on going
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Day One
Nov 26, 2019 0:03:01 GMT
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Post by serenity on Nov 26, 2019 0:03:01 GMT
Day 31.Still going. Its tough. Work have massively pissed me off, but in an entirely fragile manner. Where before I'd retreat into my head, now I find myself stuck going over my responses. It's a fight I can absolutely win. Seems my imagination is feeding on my anger. But I'll get through. 31 days without running to my safe place is a lot tougher. Never again. Trying to focus. Michael seeley helps. I mean, I really don't think I'll astral project, or meet my soul squirrel or anything. But I enjoy the meditation aspect. It really helps. How are you guys all doing out there? Anyone else trying the programme?MDD is beatable. I'm beating it. Day by day. Stay safe. S
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Post by madamebovary on Nov 30, 2019 11:17:41 GMT
I hope it is still going well, Serenity:) I am also going cold turkey, and tomorrow it has been a month. I have enjoyed reading your diary as it coincidently aligned with my attempt to stop daydreaming (almost, you are a few days ahead). I am not a part of the programme, even though I applied, so I am trying to stop by myself. I have not been able to stay off daydreaming throughout the month, unfortunately I have had days where I couldn't resist the urge, but it has been a lot less than my usual almost 24/7 daydreaming, and I have insisted on still calling it 'cold turkey' to force myself to go back to being daydreaming-free the next day after a relapse. Some daydreams are easier to keep away than others, and I have a lot of work to do with cleaning out daydreams from my thoughts. Next month, I hope I can daydream even less. I admire that you were able to go 31 days completely without going to the 'safe place'! Congratulations big time!
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Day One
Dec 1, 2019 21:52:04 GMT
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Post by serenity on Dec 1, 2019 21:52:04 GMT
I hope it is still going well, Serenity:) I am also going cold turkey, and tomorrow it has been a month. I have enjoyed reading your diary as it coincidently aligned with my attempt to stop daydreaming (almost, you are a few days ahead). I am not a part of the programme, even though I applied, so I am trying to stop by myself. I have not been able to stay off daydreaming throughout the month, unfortunately I have had days where I couldn't resist the urge, but it has been a lot less than my usual almost 24/7 daydreaming, and I have insisted on still calling it 'cold turkey' to force myself to go back to being daydreaming-free the next day after a relapse. Some daydreams are easier to keep away than others, and I have a lot of work to do with cleaning out daydreams from my thoughts. Next month, I hope I can daydream even less. I admire that you were able to go 31 days completely without going to the 'safe place'! Congratulations big time! Day 37.Still not MD. I think I've entered a difficult phase. Triggers all around me. But I'm not stopping. Madame bovary, thanks for your kind words. I hope you can quit this. It really is hard, but unbelievable when you're on the other side. I find that focusing on the days I've stayed out of my head helps me through the next. We're all here to help you. Good luck x S
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Marcydel
Junior Daydreamer
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Post by Marcydel on Dec 3, 2019 20:42:23 GMT
I’m really happy for you! You are really pulling through, I guess the time comes when you just say enough and start reaching for the driver’s wheel. Stopping cold turkey for a long period of time is sooooo hard, I originally thought it was impossible until I came across this. My luck to you! 👍❗️
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Post by serenity on Dec 24, 2019 20:07:54 GMT
Day? Merry Xmas guys! Still going. Decided to stop counting the days. Figure this is me, now. MDD was then. Its still tough, but I'm feeling so much better. Nearly two full months now. I hope you're all doing OK out there? See you all in the new year S x
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Post by dragontooth00 on Dec 24, 2019 22:37:50 GMT
Merry Christmas Serenity! Super happy you’ve been able to go cold turkey. It’s a real accomplishment to have made it this long, I think. I’m trying myself to lessen the time I spend per week MDing, and I’ve found that for me, having DnD as a hobby has really helped. After a good session, I sometimes feel more satisfied than I would daydreaming! Do you have anything like that?
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Post by Sam on Dec 25, 2019 5:06:10 GMT
Merry Christmas Serenity! Super happy you’ve been able to go cold turkey. It’s a real accomplishment to have made it this long, I think. I’m trying myself to lessen the time I spend per week MDing, and I’ve found that for me, having DnD as a hobby has really helped. After a good session, I sometimes feel more satisfied than I would daydreaming! Do you have anything like that? For me its exercise. I don't get quite the same emotional satisfaction, but the lack of guilt that I usually get after daydreaming mostly makes up for it.
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Day One
Dec 26, 2019 0:26:28 GMT
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Post by serenity on Dec 26, 2019 0:26:28 GMT
Merry Christmas Serenity! Super happy you’ve been able to go cold turkey. It’s a real accomplishment to have made it this long, I think. I’m trying myself to lessen the time I spend per week MDing, and I’ve found that for me, having DnD as a hobby has really helped. After a good session, I sometimes feel more satisfied than I would daydreaming! Do you have anything like that? For me its exercise. I don't get quite the same emotional satisfaction, but the lack of guilt that I usually get after daydreaming mostly makes up for it. Hey. I find running really helps. Actually managed to be able to listen to some of my 'trigger' music when doing so. Did my charity 5k in 25.30 and able to listen to rock again, whole doing so. Really recommend running.
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Post by Sam on Dec 26, 2019 4:34:14 GMT
For me its exercise. I don't get quite the same emotional satisfaction, but the lack of guilt that I usually get after daydreaming mostly makes up for it. Hey. I find running really helps. Actually managed to be able to listen to some of my 'trigger' music when doing so. Did my charity 5k in 25.30 and able to listen to rock again, whole doing so. Really recommend running. Yeah, I've actually found exercise to be more beneficial when I can do it while listening to my trigger music (as long as I manage to keep myself present). I've been doing brisk walking (3 mph at a 2.5% incline), not running, because my knees are awful and I don't want to injure myself again, but it seems like anything a moderate intensity or above gets me a similar endorphin rush to daydreaming.
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Day One
Dec 26, 2019 5:17:29 GMT
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Post by dragontooth00 on Dec 26, 2019 5:17:29 GMT
Oooh. Neat! Sounds like running helps for lots of people. I don’t get out much, so I should probably find something like that to do as well! Maybe run when it’s warm out or just do some exercises in general.
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Day One
Jan 14, 2020 19:44:45 GMT
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Post by busymom on Jan 14, 2020 19:44:45 GMT
How is it going, serenity?
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